3 things I hate about living in Thailand

Give me a break!

What’s up guys? 😀

Another day in paradise but today I had an awful day to be totally honest. Not every day here is free pussy and lazy days at the beach. 🙁

Today I was supposed to meet a hot Thai girl I met on Thai Cupid to eat dinner with. She wanted to go to a ‘special’ place so I had to jump inside a taxi to get there. Why couldn’t we just eat at Terminal 21?? It’s so fucking easy with skytrain and everything. Noo, had to go to some ‘special’ place out in nowhere.. Whatever..

I got stuck in a traffic jam, and when I finally got there I stepped in a pile of dog shit. I got that brown gunk all over my shoes and my pants. FUCK..!

I ended up flaking the girl because I could not go inside the restaurant smelling like dog shit. She was probably a gold digger anyways as she started ‘our relationship’ with demanding a special place to eat. She got kind of angry but I don’t give a shit honestly.

I have already written about the insane noise levels here, the never-ending small scams and why Thai girls makes my head boil at times.

Here are some more stuff that really makes my head BOIL, and that you should consider before you relocate or come here long-term.

 

You will always be a farang

If you move to any country in Europe, learn the language, get a job and don’t make any trouble. You will be looked at as a citizen of what ever country you are staying in.

You will have the same rights and you will pay the same prices.

In Thailand that is not always true.

Some people will always look at you as a farang, or simply as a naive tourist. All they see when you come around are potential money.

free tuktuk ride
He told me he will drive me for free. What a gentleman!

I walk the streets of Bangkok and people approach me everywhere. “Sir, I have lady”, “Flee tuktuk ride with me misteeer”, “Want som gaba?”, “heeloo sexy maan”,  “wheeele you go handsome?”, “want a massage?”, “Wheleee you go?”.

This shit is never-ending and at times it can be pretty annoying even tho I ignore it most of the time.

These people are not aware that I actually live here, and that I know they are full of shit. I know there no such thing as a free tuktuk ride. I’m not an idiot.

When you go to temples and attractions around Thailand you have to buy a ‘ticket’ while Thai persons stroll in for free.

If a Church or a business in the Western world charged extra because you were, lets say, black, that business would be closed down immediately and be all over the news. That shit is unheard of..

Another tiresome part of living here is that some businesses try to rip you off constantly.

I have been here for almost a year now. I know what a dish of Pad Thai costs, why are you charging me double or triple..? I’m not a rich tourist that will just stay here for 2 weeks. Give me a break. I just want to fucking eat..

And the taxis… I know that the taxis have a meter here, and I know that if the taxi use it, it will be much cheaper for me. Don’t give me that fixed price nonsense, and when I tell you to use the meter, use it, don’t give me that bullshit that it’s not working. I know your tricks..

Then you have the police. They are mostly no issue, but if you ever have a crash here in the traffic you can be sure that they would team up with the Thai person, even if it wasn’t your fault. Luckily I have a big pile of buffer cash, so if anything like that would ever happen to me I will get away from it somehow.

 

Pollution

Good luck finding a garbage can in Thailand when you need it. So many times I have been eating street food or something from 7/11. Then I’m done with it and I want to throw it away. You start to look for a garbage can but they are nowhere to be found. There are almost no public trash cans here..

The result of this is that there is trash and food piles everywhere in the streets. The result of that again is big rats, cockroaches and flies that runs around everywhere munching on the trash.

If you dare. Throw a rock on a pile of trash and see what happens. I did that one time and two gigantic rats and 20 cockroaches escaped that munchy bag like it was doomsday.

Then you have the air pollution. Cars, old motorbikes, noisy food wagons, buses from last millennium with broken muffler, Thai guys puffing away on cigarettes, street food vendors that spew out smoke and food odor all over the place and all the trash that lies around making a terrible smell.

Breathing in all this shit is not good for your health and I’m 100% sure I will live a couple of years shorter if I stay in Thailand for the rest of my life.

Sometimes when I’m in Bangkok for too long I get a nasal congestion and I start to itch in my throat. Then I go to the beach and it opens up again immediately. Can’t be healthy.

In addition to this the air down here is to thick that you could chew it and the humidity is absolutely horrendous at times. I’m from Norway and that place is world known for it clean, fresh and dry mountain air.

 

Infections

You can’t get away from them! Walk barefoot for ten minutes, step on some glass fragments hiding in the sand, get a cut under your foot and it’s done. The next morning you wake up your foot is twice as big and it flows green pus out of the cut. It’s disgusting.

I have lost count all the times I have been at the local clinic to clean up and remove green pus.

 

Bugs, snakes and reptiles

In Northern Europe we have something called winter. This winter kills most of these fuckers. So in the summer we only have a couple of flies and mosquitoes running around. No big deal!

Thailand however is hot and humid all year. There is never a long cold winter that does a restart in the bug population.

Some of the bugs I’ve seen down here are simply terrifying and a few of them look like they were designed by the fucking devil.

Walk under a tree and suddenly a big green slimy demon falls down and lands on your shoulder. Chill in a park and suddenly some weird-looking purple snake with laser eyes jumps out between some stones trying to eat your brain.

Pass out on a bench, suddenly you hear a hissing sound then you realize you have a 6 foot reptile under you that could eat a chihuahua on a good day.

Big Reptile
Go home

I never went to school in Thailand so I have no fucking clue what bugs are poisonous or not. I freak out like a little girl every time I have a close encounter.

One time I was at Koh Chang having a foot massage. Then a big black flying monster on the size of a bird came flying in. All the local massage girls started screaming like hell and ran out of the shop with magazines over their head.

What the fuck was that.?.? I never got a good look at the horror because I did like to locals did. I panicked like a little girl and ran like crazy… 🙁

Another time I woke up in a bungalow because I felt something was tingling on my feet. I removed the blanket and a fucking cockroach was munching on my dead skin..

fuck you too
fuck you too

As I said. I never went to school here. I treat every thing that is not a fly or a mosquito as something poisonous that can kill me within 5 minutes.. Dying from a bug bite would be a fucking sad way to go… Some of these bugs looks absolutely savage.

 

Anyways. That is enough complaining for one day. Truth is, the positive aspects of living in Thailand is far bigger then the negatives. I love it here.

If you ever tried to get me home you would have to drag me inside an airplane while I was screaming and crying like a little bitch.

In fact, I’m not going anywhere. 😀 😀

 

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