Emergency STD guide for condom fuck-ups

condom-broke-with-a-prostitute-hiv-risk/

If you found this post you probably fucked up, right?

We’ve all been there. You had sex with a girl, maybe a hooker, and the condom cracked. SHIT. 🙁

Don’t worry. 😀

Dr. Tim have you covered. And after you’ve read this post you will probably be a little bit more relaxed.

I’ve fucked my share of hookers, and it has happened a couple of times that the condom busted. I was out of my own quality condoms, I wanted sex, so I used the condom that the hooker gave me. Bad idea I know, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. 🙂

I then had to go around paranoid for two months, because HIV don’t show up at tests immediately. Not fun! 🙁

condom-broke-with-a-prostitute-hiv-risk/Ok… Let’s get real here. You fucked up. You used a bad condom, or you used it the wrong way, or you didn’t use it at all. What are the chances that you got HIV?

In Thailand around 1.1% of the population have HIV. If you had sex with a hooker, you can probably make that percentage a little bit higher. I know that didn’t help on your worries, but bear with me here.

If you found this post, and you had sex with a hooker in another country. You can check the HIV percentage of all countries here.

 

‘Fun facts’ about HIV

Living with it: You won’t notice it much, until you get AIDS. Then you will have a bad time. Otherwise it can be stressful to live with it, and it can be expensive depending on what country you live in.
Cure: No, but there are medicines that can keep it at bay until you die of something else. Still, it suck big time because you can’t have sex again without condom.

 

The good news is….

HIV is almost never contagious. The numbers are different, but I’ve read most places that if you had normal vaginal sex, it’s a 1/10000 chance to contract HIV from woman to man. Women however have a higher chance to become infected by men.

1/10000. That’s like winning the lottery, in a bad way. How frequently do you win the lottery? Not very often. And guess what, it gets better!

Lets say you had normal vaginal sex with a hooker, and lets say 5% of the hookers in Thailand have HIV. Then you’ll have a 1/20 chance on stumbling upon a hooker with HIV. Lets do some probability calculation here:

1/20 * 1/10000 = 0.000005 * 100 = 0.0005%

If your condom cracked, and 5% of the girls have HIV. You have a 0.0005% chance to contract HIV.

If you had anal sex, it’s a bit higher because it’s easier to make rifts in the skin.

If you have sores on your dick or other STD’s like herpes, the chances are even higher. And if the girl was on her period at the same time, it’s higher again. You get my point here.

But if you just had normal sex, and there was no blood or sores involved. You have approximately 0.0005% probability to contract HIV. To set that in perspective:

You have to drill 200.000 hookers to contract HIV.

When that is said. You should not go around and fuck hookers every night without using a condom. This is really just a numbers game, and one day you WILL have that little sore or rift on your dick, that comes in contact with the girls blood. And your screwed.

But if you just had a condom burst, or was drunk one night and forgot to strap up. I would not be too worried. 🙂

HIV and blow jobs

Don’t worry about it. Studies show that its next to impossible to contract HIV from a girl sucking on your dick. In fact, there are no documented cases where a man catches HIV from a blowjob.

Unless she bites your dick off and spits in your dick flesh wound, you should be fine.

 

Other STD’s…

Then we have all the other STD’s…

Depending on where you are from in the world, the STD education is very varied. Some places they teach you that every STD is a fucking disaster, like in the bible belt of America. If only 5% of what those Christian nutheads said were true, my dick would have fallen off a long time ago.

My answer is. I would not worry too much. Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis are curable. Just pop some pills and you’re good to go. Maybe you’ll have a painful piss for some days. No big deal.

HPV (warts) and genital herpes are not curable, but who cares? Most people get outbursts maybe 2-3 times, then they never get it again.

I actually contracted HPV when I was like 18 years old by some girl I fucked a couple of times. I got an outburst one time, never had it again. Herpes could be more tricky depending on your general health, but at least you won’t die of it. At worst it can be a little bit painful.

To be honest I’m not that worried about STD’s down here. If I find a new girl that I know I’ll bang a lot. I’ll just take her to the HIV clinic as fast as possible so I can drop that awful condom.

I’m more worried about an unexpected pregnancy from some girl who forgot to take the pill. These girl’s not remember anything. ‘Mai bpen rai’ you know… THAT would be the end of the world.

I rather take any STD…

So you see? Don’t worry too much… Sex is fun, good for you health and you should have it as much as possible.

Just remember to strap up from now on if you drill a prostitute, and if you meet a good girl, get her tested for HIV and take a good look at her vagina for weird sores before you shove your happy chorizo in.

 

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