This post should be totally unnecessary to make. But after staying in Thailand for almost a year you won’t believe what kind of shit I’ve seen down here. Nothing surprises me anymore.
People don’t die in Thailand because this place is dangerous, people die here because they are complete morons.
I know it’s hard to come out of US and Europe. Those places are dictatorships in the name of ‘safety’. The government protect you from birth to grave. You don’t need to use your brain or think about consequences. Then you come down here where you can do whatever you want with temptations lurking on every corner.
Some people can’t handle that freedom, they go nuts, do something stupid, and end up in a plastic bag. Here are some ways you can kill yourself in Thailand.
Drive a 1000cc sport bike.. drunk. 😀
It’s okay to drive a 100cc motorbike after a couple of beers. I do that all the time. Never had any incident, and I never will. When I drive mildly intoxicated I drive under 20 km/h and focus like an astronaut that’s about to leave earth.
Driving a 1000cc sport bike however, after drinking a lot of alcohol with your friend, without a proper helmet in a big city such as Pattaya. You are asking for it.
Rent a motorbike when you can’t drive
Thailand is not a place to learn driving motorbikes. At least not if you are a complete idiot. A girl from England I met at Koh Yao Noi found out that the hard way.
She basically sat down on the scooter, gave full throttle, panicked and drove right out of the road. Unfortunately for her there was a steep slope down into some trees where she drove out of the road.
She didn’t get any serious injuries, but she wrecked that motorbike pretty hard and she had to pay the motorbike shop 60.000 baht for a new motorbike.
The people who owned the shop got angry as fuck and almost gave the girl a beating in addition to the beating from the crash.
They were even mad at me because they thought the girl was my friend, and that I knew she couldn’t drive. I had to explain them that she was not my friend, and that I just met her on the boat to the island.
Buy drugs from Nigerians
All tourist areas in Thailand have Nigerian drug dealers. Never buy drugs from these guys. They don’t give a shit about you. They just want your money.
There was a tourist lately in Phuket that bought cocaine from one of these Africans. Unfortunately he did not get cocaine, but heroin. He sniffed that shit and died from heroin overdose Pulp Fiction style.
If you are even more unlucky, the Thai police catch you in the act of buying. If you don’t have money to bribe your way out, you’ll end up in a Thai prison. 15 years later you will be a free man, but with a ton of diseases, weird infections and HIV. That sucks.
Stick with banging hot Asian girls and drink tasty beer. You will never get in trouble for that if you behave. 🙂
Hit on a Thai girl with her Thai boyfriend in the bar
If you are a reader of my site you know that Thai people are extremely jealous. Not only that, if you are hitting on a girl who have a Thai boyfriend close by, you make the boyfriend loose face. Jealousy + loosing face can be a deadly combination in Thailand if you meet the wrong people.
A guy from the US experienced that first hand outside Hollywood Pattaya in Pattaya. He got beaten so badly by the boyfriend and his friends that he was picked up by an ambulance one hour after the beating.
I actually flew the scene while the beating was going on. I was the only other farang outside that bar while he got beaten up. Not good.
You don’t want to be around when Thai people are angry. They have no control.
Interfere in Thai drama
Jump from 10th floor in Pattaya
This shit happens more than you think. Some people come to Thailand. They can’t handle all the temptations, go completely nuts in the bars of Pattaya, use up all their money and savings. Then one day their bank account is empty and they have no way to get home.
Others were stupid to fall in love with a bar girl, then starts a business in her name, as foreigners can’t own property in Thailand, she runs away with all the property, and the guy is left with nothing.
What do they do? They jump from buildings. Don’t end up like those losers.
Punch a police officer in the face
A good way to become popular in Thailand is to punch a hard working police officer in the face when he tries to speak to you because you parked in the middle of a high way.
In fact, a guy tried just that. Luckily he was Thai, so he survived. If a farang did something similar he would probably get much harder treatment.
Beat up your Thai girlfriend in public
If you want extra respect from the local boys, beat up your Thai girlfriend in public for everyone to see.
Because why not?
For some reason this guy was not taken care of there and then. You can see in the video that a lot of Thai guys are watching, ready to jump in if the farang becomes too crazy. He was very lucky…
As you can see. Take it easy in Thailand folks. High season is here and the bars will be crammed. Most Thai people are warm, kind and gentle, but if you disrespect them, you can get in a ton of trouble.
Not everyone in the tourist areas have good intentions, and if you piss of the right people, you can actually get badly hurt.
I’m always very polite and humble in the nightlife areas of Thailand. I’ve never been in any real trouble.
I once had a dispute about a check-bin that was waaay to high. I talked slow, were polite and argued my case, and nothing bad happened (they actually gave me discount).
I always pull away if I suspect any trouble, and I will never use any kind of violence or rough behavior unless I have no other choice.
No one will help you if you get in trouble here, down here you are on your own. This is not the place to be a hero, unless you’re actually willing to sacrifice yourself.
At the end. Lets enjoy this video of a drunk farang getting beaten up by three bar-girls. I don’t know what he did, but he was probably an asshole.