Location Report | Thailand – Pattaya

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Pattaya is the sex capital of the world. No other place on this planet do you have a higher concentration of hookers that are ready to entertain you at any time of the day than here.

It’s hard to estimate just how many hookers there are in this city, but I read somewhere that Pattaya have around 2000 beer bars. An average a beer bar have around 5-10 hookers. Then you also have all the Go-go bars and the endless amount of massage shops that have happy ending available. Not to mention all the freelancers at beach Rd.

I think it’s safe to say that Pattaya have a minimum of 30.000 girls ready to entertain you, every day all year around. That is really something unique!

Pattaya

 

Available girls (6/5)

Yes. I’ll give Pattaya a 6 out of 5 score. I know it’s impossible but when you arrive Pattaya you wont believe what you are seeing. I think it is a fitting score to give Pattaya. 😀

If you come to Thailand as a sex tourist and just want to go completely nuts. Pattaya is where you have to go. As I already mentioned, Pattaya is the sex capital of world and no matter what your needs are, you’ll find it in this city.

Ladyboys? Young petite girls? Russian hookers with attitude? Gay Thai men? An old exhausted freelance hookers for 500 baht a night? Africans? Or maybe dwarfs? Don’t worry, Pattaya has it all.

 

Hookers

Want a smoking hot 10 to entertain you all night? No problem. Just go to the Go-go bars of Walking street, and pick the girl that you like the most for roughly 3000 baht long time.

Are you happy with a 7-8 with good attitude you should get your ass over to Soi 6 at the other side of town, pick your girl and take her upstairs for roughly 1000 baht (yes, the bars at soi 6 have their own rooms where you can bring your temporary sex toy). Can’t really be more convenient than that, can it? 😀

Soi 6

Good girls

This is were this city loose some points with me. I do enjoy going with hookers at times, but I prefer to date good girls and giiks (fuck friends). In Pattaya that is not really an option. If you meet a girl here that is decent looking, there is a good probability that she is working in a Go-go bar or beer bar. Or that she has in the past, or that she is planning to do it.

You might meet a good girl, but I know if I did I would be super paranoid that she actually was a part time hooker. I would never drop the condom with a good girl in Pattaya, at least as long as she lived there. I don’t want HIV or some strange tropical disease that no one have ever heard of.

If you are looking for a girlfriend or a wife, you should go somewhere else. Like Bangkok or Chiang Mai up in north. 90% of the people who lives here comes from other places in Thailand, and almost everyone work in the tourist business. So that is what most people here will treat you as, a tourist.

If you just want to go nuts and fuck as many girls as humanly possible on your three weeks holiday. You are on the right place. 😀

Check out how you can plan your sex holiday here.

 

Party situation (5/5)

I won’t be making a nightlife guide for Pattaya. Because no matter where you are in Pattaya there will be something happening. The entire town is just one gigantic whorehouse 24/7.

Another aspect of this is that a Go-go bar that was good on Monday, might suck on Tuesday. And a beer bar that was full of hot girls on Friday, might be almost empty on Saturday. Stuff happens fast in Pattaya and a bar that might be running well all week might suddenly close because they didn’t bribe the police.

Bars open and close everyday in this city.

My best tips for finding hot women in Pattaya is to just walk around until you find one. 😀 It’s really that simple. People will push you to stay longer in bars etc, but if there is no hot women inside, just pay your bill and try the bar 5 meters away.

Maybe I’ll make a nightlife guide for Pattaya on a later point, but right now I don’t see the point to be honest.

 

Stuff to do (4/5)

I have to be honest. Every time I’ve been going to Pattaya I have only been doing two things. That is drinking alcohol and fucking hookers at night.

Pattaya do have a beach, but I don’t like it that much. The beach can be littered at times, and the amount of street sellers that constantly try to sell you stuff you don’t need can be very annoying. You can’t relax for 1 minute before someone is trying to sell you fake sunglasses, stupid hats or dying flowers.

The good news is that there is one pretty good island just outside Pattaya, so if you need a break from the madness I absolutely recommend you going there. Maybe you can even bring one of the hookers you met the night before for company? Everything is possible in Pattayaland. 😀

Other than that you have all the normal tourist activities like jet-skis, paragliding, parks, zoo’s etc.. But lets be honest, you didn’t go to Pattaya do to that stuff, right? 😀

If Pattaya gets to intense for you, and trust me, it does from many people. You can always take the trip from Pattaya to Phuket with Bangkok airways. There is a direct flight from Pattaya airport to Phuket International Airport everyday at 1.00 pm.

 

Cost of living (4/5)

Pattaya is not the cheapest town in Thailand, but considering what you get for your money (basically a whore house on the size of a city), it’s not that bad after all.

Accommodation

You can get a good condo close to the action with air-con, free wifi and gym for about 10.000 baht a month short term. I have yet to find a webpage that offers apartments in Pattaya.

You could try one of these three things:

  • Craigslist
  • Message a Thai girl and ask her for help. Read my post How To Meet Thai Girls for more tips about this.
  • Hit the streets. Go to Pattaya, rent a cheap hotel for a night then walk the Sois and look for yourself.

Food

Steak at beefeater
Steak at beefeater

Thai food is very cheap and if you eat in the basic street restaurants you’ll get a dinner for 50-100 baht.

However, there are a lot of good restaurants in town that sell high quality western food like steaks, burgers and pizza. It’s hard to not get tempted so your average daily budget on food will probably be higher than 100 baht dinners.

One of the best steaks I ever had I had in Pattaya at beefeater close to Mikes shopping mall. It will set you back almost 1000 baht but god damn is it worth it!

 

Here is the problem with Pattaya when it comes to cost of living

PattayaThere is just to much temptations everywhere! People have literally jumped to death in Pattaya because they lost control, fucked a million girls on 10 different credit cards and then not been able to pay it back.

Instead of going home, work, make money and return later. They have just kept on going until every bank account and credit card is empty. Some jump off buildings while others become homeless losers in Pattaya. 

If you want to move here permanently on a budget you better have some self-control and discipline. If not you can end up like those looser that jumps of buildings pretty damn fast.

 

Safety (4/5)

I think Pattaya is a pretty safe place to stay in considering what is going on in this city! The city is complete madness with non stop parties and available girls for entertainment.

The biggest safety risk for any man in this city has to be what I have already talked about, losing control and just go completely nuts with hookers without having the money for it.

There are also a lot of tourists here that gets killed in traffic because they are stupid enough to drive 1000cc sport bikes when drunk. Don’t do that, you don’t want to end up at a street corner with your brain cut in half. Don’t be that guy…

And please, don’t be that naive idiot that falls in love with some gold digging whore that pretends to be a good girl, just to send her 10.000 baht a month as soon as you get home to “keep her”. As soon as you fly home, another boyfriend flies in.

Jet-ski scam

You should not rent jet-skis in Pattaya (or phuket). There is a popular scam here towards clueless tourists.

You rent a jet-ski, and when you deliver it back the Thai dude that you rented it from will say that you damaged the jet-ski and have to pay for the damages.

If you try to get away or say that you did not damage it, the police will come. The only problem is that the police are on the scammers side as they get a cut from the money you’ll have to pay for the damage.

That sucks, because that is money that you could have spent on sexy Thai hookers instead. 🙁

See more here.

Other

Other than that there is all the regular scams in town that are normal for popular tourist destinations. There is a lot of money in this city and the thugs and robbers will of course go here rather than Sukhothai.

Keep your money safe, don’t flash with money anywhere and don’t get so drunk that you can’t take care of yourself. Don’t be naive and remember to use condoms with the hookers.

If you can do that, you will get home again in one piece. I promise! 😀

 

Conclusion 

If you just want to go completely nuts, and have sex with more women than the most famous rock stars of this planet. Pattaya is absolutely a place you should go, and a place where you can say goodbye to your boring life permanently or for a period.

The city has a relative good infrastructure with the baht bus taking you all over town for only 10 baht per trip! It got a beach, and if you need a break from the madness you can always take a trip out to the island Koh Lan just outside Pattaya.

If you want to find good girls, you can still live in Pattaya banging hookers while you flirt with good girls in Bangkok on Thai Cupid. When you find a girl that you really like, you can just jump on a bus to Bangkok for the weekend.

Bangkok is only two hours away with bus, where you can fly anywhere in southeast Asia for under 4000 baht together with your good girl you just met. 😀

Total Score

Available girls:     6/5
Party situation:   5/5
Stuff do to:           4/5
Cost of Living:      4/5
Safety:                   4/5

Goodbye Boring Life Score: 

       23 / 25

 

I’m really interested to hear what you think about Pattaya. If you have been there, please comment in the comment section under.

 

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