6 ways Thai women are superior to Western women

Dating beautiful Thai women is a little bit like shooting heroin up your arm. Once you tried it, you have an high probability becoming addicted. I know that’s a pretty stupid comparison but that’s the best I could come up with, so deal with it!

I’ve dated, and I’ve had relationships with several Western woman before I discovered that there is an entire world out there with feminine, gentle and beautiful women who makes women in my home country pale in comparison.

Before I became a well traveled person I had this arrogant attitude that “Norwegian girls are the best in the world”. Everything outside our borders was dirty, strange and dangerous.

I could not be more wrong.

Yes, this post will be very generalizing. All I’m talking about in this post are similarities I see among women in Thailand and back home.

Of course you can find sweet and gentle white woman too, it’s just that you are much more likely to find a white women who have gotten fat, taken ugly tattoos, smell alcohol and cigarettes, is possessed with special snowflake syndrome or that they just act so fucking entitled you just want to run away.

In fact. I think that the blonde Scandinavian look is one of the most beautiful looks a girl can have. It’s just to bad most of them show total neglect for their appearance and conduct.

Three beautiful Swedish girls
Three potential beautiful blonde Swedish girls f*cking up their bodies one tattoo at a time. 🙁

Ok. So now we have gotten that out of the way. Lets start the class my pupils.

Why are Thai women so awesome?

#1: Thai women know how to take care

I remember my second white girlfriend I had back home in the beginning of my twenties. One morning I woke up with a terrible stomach ache, body ache and mild fever. It was nothing critical or dangerous, but I had some very uncomfortable days.

What was my white girlfriends reaction? “Call me when you’re feeling better and we can be together again. I don’t want to get infected by you”… At that time I didn’t know any better so I tolerated the bad behavior, but had that happened today I would dump her immediately.

I remember I had to nag at her so she would go to the supermarked to pick up painkillers and ready-made soup. When she got back she didn’t even bother to pour hot water into the ready-made soup before she flew out of the door again. I had to get out of my comfortable warm bed, which really is a pain in the ass when you have fever, and do everything myself.

She even asked for the money back for the 3$ ready-made soup.

She was too lazy to pour hot water in my soup, but not lazy enough to ask for 3$. What the hell..

How would a Thai Women react?
Well. I can tell you that right away because I’ve been in the company of a Thai woman several times when I’ve been sick.

A Thai women, the moment you tell her you’re not feeling well, will turn her attention radar 110% towards you. But most likely you don’t need to tell her, because she has already noticed that something is not right.

She will instantly ask you: “What is wrong? Is there anything I can do?” while she observe you for any anomaly.

The moment you tell her what is wrong she will already be out of the door getting medicine, healthy groceries and some snack for you.

You’ve already told her many times that you can take care of yourself, but she still insist taking care of you.

When she come back she will start cooking up a healthy soup for you that taste better than any soup you’ve ever had at any restaurant ever. After she have served the soup she’ll give you the medicine accompanied with lukewarm water and some snacks, then continue to observe you while she look for any improvements.

If you get better she will be happy for you while already planning what you will do together when you’re up and running again.

If you become worse, she will be sad while insisting you go to the doctor.

In 2013 I was on my second trip to Thailand. When I was Chiang Mai I got a terrible stomach flu so I ended up in the hospital because of severe stomach pain.

I girl that I had been talking with a few days found out that I was in the hospital. Out of nowhere she came to my hospital room with home made food and snacks. For the next three hours she just sat next to my bed holding my arm while entertaining me with her very broken but charming English accent.

That would maybe happen in the Western world if you had last stage cancer.


#2: Thai women know how to cook food

I think it’s important that women know how to cook up some basic healthy and tasty dishes from scratch. Women carry children, and she is the one who will take care of them the first years.

It’s important that your children get healthy and nutritious food in the beginning when they grow fast, so they become healthy human beings later in life. Having a strong foundation is important. Just look at obesity among kids in the Western world vs Southeast-Asia.

All Western women I’ve been with had no clue how to cook up basic dishes. They’ve all been living on ready-made food from the supermarkeds and fast food from the big chains.

Now… Just have point number 1 and 2 above in your mind, then you ask yourself; what kind of woman would you want raising your kids?

Simple answer.


#3: Thai women know how to make men happy

A Thai monk from about a hundred and sixty years ago, Sunthorn Phu (d. 1855) have been guiding Thai women on how they should behave and act in society. His writings are still relative today.

He is one of old Siam’s most revered poets and philosophers, and his premise “Maxim for the Conduct of Ladies” has been passed on from mother to daughter and taught to girls in Thai schools since the days of Rama V (the great King of Thailand in the 19th century that brought Siam into the modern world).

All Thai women, whether they are a bar girl, a teacher, a lawyer or even the Prime Minister of Thailand continue to practice some of these maxims in their everyday life.

These maxims guide Thai women on everything from how they should move their hips, how they should swing their arms, how they should talk in public to how they should behave around men.

The result of all these maxims is that Thai women are very pleasant human beings to be around until this day.

Here are some more stuff Thai women will do that certainly will make you feel appreciated:

  • When you are out eating together, and your glass is empty. She will fill it up.
  • When your shirt is curly she will straight it out for you, and if you spill something on yourself she will do her best to remove it.
  • When you loose money on the floor, she will pick it up, and if your hair gets messed up by the wind, she will fix it up.
  • She will constantly touch you gently with her arms guiding you around so you don’t hit anything.


#4: Thai women are feminine, gentle and care about their appearance

You will never see a Thai woman out in public in a hoodie three sizes too big or worn out sweatpants. That’s something I see back home all the time. I Thai girl will always make sure her appearance is on the mark whenever she’s out in public.

Thai girls dress cute, sharp and clean.

You can only choose one
You can only choose one

She will usually wear simple but beautiful dresses that promotes her femininity and gentleness.

Thai women care a lot about their body too, and will never let their it go to hell with obesity, tattoos or piercings.

A well maintained female body is in fact a masterpiece just the way it is. No need to do anything with something so perfect.


#5: Thai women want children

Self explanatory.

There is something terrible wrong with the Western world when it breeds a generation of girls who don’t want children.

Ask any teenager or young women in the Western world if they want kids, and they will most likely answer no or just become very insecure, like it’s something shameful to wish.

Ask any Thai girl and you’ll get a loud and confident “of course” while she look at you like you’re crazy for even asking such a question.


#6: Thai women are easy going

But maybe the most important trait of Thai women is that they are easy going.

They will never stress, nag or dwell on anything for an eternity and she will not over analyze every little situation beyond insanity.

Any girl who is constantly stressed, nagging, or just not enjoying life can easily sap the joy out of yours too.

Not worth it!


There are several more reasons why Thai women are superior to Western women, but after reading this you should have a good idea what is waiting for you down here.

If you’ve already been in Thailand. What did you like about Thai women? Tell me in the comment section I would love to hear!

Nightlife and Thai girls at Koh Chang

Koh Chang is my favorite island in Thailand. In my opinion there is no island above or beside.

The island is not too developed like lets say Koh Samoi where you don’t really feel like you’re on an island anymore because of all the tall buildings and developments, but you’re not out in the middle of the jungle either.

Koh Chang is perfectly balanced between preserving the beautiful wilderness but still have some of the craziness and debauchery that we all love. 😀

I think my tourist guide map says it the best: “The island of Koh Chang is a tropical marine national park. It’s hinterland consist of over 70% virgin rain forest and is the best preserved holiday destination in Thailand.” 😀

I don’t know about you guys, but when I go to an island I want to relax. I want to feel the nature. I want to be by myself, maybe together with a cute girl I found in a bar the night before. If I want to party hard I can go to Pattaya or Bangkok.

At Koh Chang you can relax on the beach. No beach sellers will harass you, you will hear the waves and not the traffic in the background from the beach promenade and you can hear the wind in the palm trees behind you while you sip coconut juice. That’s what island life is about! 😀

If you want to stay in big fancy 5 star resorts you can do that up north along White Sand Beach, if you want to have a beach for yourself stay all the way south near Bang Bao that have easy access to Klong Koi beach.

If you want to be totally isolated you can go to Long Beach.

When that is said. Koh Chang do not lack nightlife in any matters. Yes it’s not like Bangkok or Pattaya in intensity but you can for sure have your fun here.


Nightlife in Koh Chang

All of Koh Chang’s nightlife is happening on the West coast along Rural Rd all the way from White Sand Beach in north until Bang Bao in south. The nightlife varies from beer bars, regular bars, nightclubs, karaoke bars, small hippy huts and nice restaurants on the beach with live music, flame shows and games.


1: Beer Bars with working girls
2: Best bars in Koh Chang
3: Ladyboys on Koh Chang
4: Karaoke bars
5: Sky bars
6: Big parties on Lonely Beach
7: Where to buy marijuana


Beer bars with working girls

Is there one thing Koh Chang doesn’t lack, its beer bars with working girls. In fact, that’s what this island is all about if you ask me. You will find beer bars along Rural Rd from the town along White Sand Beach and all the way down to Bang Bao. That road is no less than 15 km and you will find small beer bars all over the place.

It’s almost no point making a beer bar guide for Koh Chang as they are literally everywhere and pretty much all the same. However, there are some beer gardens with bigger gatherings that I will tell about here and you also have a small walking street on the island with 20-30 beer bars.

Most bars are open until 2 am, but the bars will gladly hold open longer if there’s money to be made. It’s not like in Chiang Mai where the police will come and force close everything if it’s not closed by 1 am.


White Sand Beer Garden

White Sand beer garden
White Sand Beer Garden

I don’t know if this place have an official name, but the beer garden is located in the town along White Sand Beach.

This is the biggest gathering of beer bars on Koh Chang with around 40 ber bars in a cluster.

This place is the most high energy area on the island. It’s loud music and high energy all night.

If you are looking for something more relaxing where you can sit down and talk with the girls you should probably go further south on the island.


Chai Chet Beer bar strip

Chai Chet beer bars strip
Chai Chet beer bars strip

In Chai Chet (roughly 2km south of White Sand) there is a long strip along Rural Rd with 30 – 40 bars.

This place is much more relaxed than White Sand Beer Garden. I rarely hear loud music here and you can talk with inside voice in most of the bars.


Walking Street Koh Chang

In the small town along Kai Bae Beach you’ll find Walking Street.

It’s a parallel street of Rural Rd where you’ll find 30-40 beer bars. It’s a big black sign pointing to the street so it’s hard to miss.

Walking Street Koh Chang
Walking Street Koh Chang

There is also a bar here that pretty much worked as an outdoor nightclub. Every night I was there it was full, loud music and people was dancing on the outside dance floor. 😀

The beer bars here are relaxed and laid back. There is a big probability that you’ll get a bar for yourself here with 2-5 working girls for yourself eager to go with you.

There are also a lot of solo bars spread all over Rural Rd on the West side that I won’t mention in this guide as they’re all the same, and I think it’s totally random who is good. You just have to drive around until you find a place that you want to spend your night in. If the name is Boom Boom Bar or Yes bar doesn’t really matter.

The southern most beer bar I found was in the town along Lonely Beach, Kamrai Bar, but this bar seems to be only ladyboys.

Khamer girls on Koh Chang

Just as you’ll find a lot of cute Lao girls in Nong Khai and Udon Thani, cities that are close to the Lao border. You’ll find a lot of cute Khamer girls on Koh Chang as it’s very close to the Cambodian border.

1000 baht bungalow Koh Chang
1000 baht bungalow at Koh Chang

I met a lot of cute Khamer girls here, and I traveled around with a 21-year-old cutie on Koh Chang for three days with my motorbike and as the night came we banged all night in my 1000 baht bungalow on Klong Kloi beach.

Good times! 😀

Khamer girls are really interesting girls as most of them speak very good English and it’s possible to actually have an intelligent conversation with most of them. I’m impressed by Khamer girls. Many of them speak 4 languages (Khamer, Thai, English and Vietnamese).

I think finding a Khamer girl once in a while is a nice break from the average Thai girl who speak very little English, only eat Thai food and think Thailand is number 1 in everything.


Normal bars and nightclubs on Koh Chang

There are several good bars spread all over the island. Here are some of the bars that I liked the most.

Filou Cocktail Lounge

This is probably the bar with the coolest interior I have ever seen anywhere. Very nice atmosphere and great live band. A little bit expensive for Koh Chang, but it’s easy to see where your money was spent.

I guess you get what you pay for.

There are also a ton of bars all around the island that I see no point mentioning as they are pretty much the same. Along most beaches at Koh Chang you have many hidden bars along the beach with chill live music, food and cocktails. Take your pick.

Himmel and TingTong Bar

These bars are as close as you get to nightclubs on this island. They are by no means Bangkok or Phuket standard, and you will be siting on dirty chairs while sipping your 80 baht Sangsom cocktail. This is not a place to meet up in suit lol (yeah one guy did just that 1 hour before I’m writing this).

People here are a good mix between backpackers, mongers, regular girls, both Thai and foreign and freelancers looking for customers.

Himmel and TingTong bar are just a stone’s throw away from each other. If one sucks, just check out the other one. 🙂


Ladyboys on Koh Chang

Ladyboys are working in the same bars as the girls. No need to go to a special place on Koh Chang to find them. I’m not into ladyboys personally, but I have to admit there was some pretty hot ones in the beer garden at White Sand Beach.


Karaoke Bars

Koh Chang have a small strip of karaoke bars along Rural Rd near Chai Chet beach. Check map under to see where to find them.


Soapy Massage on Koh Chang

There are no soapy massage on Koh Chang yet.


Sky bars on Koh Chang

Sky Bar Koh Chang
Sky Bar Koh Chang

Koh Chang have only one sky bar. Calling it a sky bar is probably a little bit pretentious as it’s only five floors up but hey this is Koh Chang so I’ll let that slip. The skybar is on the top of The Gallery Hotel, check the map.

The place is top-notch modern and has a pretty good view out towards the ocean. Absolutely enjoyed this avenue.

There is another place a little bit longer south called Lighthouse Cuisine, it’s a restaurant but they have very good view towards the sea and you can get the sunset there while you enjoy your food and drink.


Big parties at Lonely Beach

In high season (December until February) there are several big parties on Lonely Beach. You have the New Year’s Eve party 31st of December every year, then you have Winter Sensation every February that is sponsored by Bacardi + smaller beach parties that is going on every Saturday most of the year.

They are really good at putting up posters all over the island so you wont miss it if something is going on at Lonely Beach.


Where to buy marijuana on Koh Chang

Marijuana is sold in TingTong Bar at Lonely Beach quite openly. Just ask the people that hang out in the street outside TingTong Bar about marijuana and they will sell it to you.

They also sell ready-made joints that you can smoke inside TingTong Bar in the chillout area.


1 joint = 200 baht
3 gram brown weed: 300 baht

The weed here was not that good to be honest. One night I smoked 2 joints in the TingTong Bar with a Thai girl. I got medium high. The weed here was not like the sativa weed in Vang Vieng that would send you on a journey to the moon.

I only found indica weed on Koh Chang and it just made me really sleepy honestly.

But if you like indica you will have no problem with that. It’s probably possible to get sativa weed somewhere on the island too.


Map of Nightlife in Koh Chang

Video of Nightlife at Koh Chang

Nightlife and Thai girls in Nong Khai

Nong Khai is a small border city north in Isaan along the Mekong River. Any person who have been on a VISA run to Laos have went thought this place, maybe even stayed here one night before entering Laos.

However, most people prefer to take a night in Udon Thani, just one hour away from the border, as the nightlife and energy is much higher.


Nightlife in Nong Khai

I stayed at this hotel, Nong Khai City Hotel. Superb standard, guest friendly and just next to the fun beer bars. The WIFI was super fast and the bed super comfy. For only 400 baht per night that is a great deal!


Beer bars with working girls

Beer bars in Nong Khai
Beer bars in Nong Khai

Nong Khai had a small beer bar scene with working girls, but it was nothing like in Udon Thani. There was also a lot of expats here, mostly old guys sitting in the bars.

A couple of the bars almost worked as daycare centers for the old expats living here. The same guys sat in the bars all fucking day. Unbelievable.

The beer bars was located at two different places in town. Walking between them took roughly 10 minutes.

The bars opened early daytime, and was open until late. Some bars was still going strong at 3 am.

Beer: 80 baht
Whisky: 100 baht

Barfine: 300 baht
Short-time: 1000 baht
Long-time: 1500-2000 baht


Map of Nightlife in Nong Khai

Nightlife and Thai girls in Udon Thani

I spent Songkran 2017 in Udon Thani. My plan was to get to Koh Chang, but I got delayed from Laos as I had a blast in Vang Vieng. When I got back to Thailand Songkran had already started.

As you might know, traveling anywhere in the Songkran week is next to impossible. People will throw water on you no matter where you are, and as I was traveling with my expensive camera gear and laptop. Going outside with that in my backpack would not be smart.

When Songkran was over I had another problem. All sleeper trains to Bangkok was full and airplanes was very expensive and/or full too. I ended up taking a third class train from city to city all the way to Bangkok, spending a couple of nights in each city.

I visited Nong Khai, Udon Thani, Khon Kaen, Korat and Saraburi on the way. Good times! 😀

Of the cities I visited in Isaan. Udon Thani had the biggest expat community in this region. More than 6000 expats are living in and around Udon Thani all year around, and it shows:

Everywhere you go there will be foreigners walking around with their Isaan wifes. Not only old guys, but also younger men that have relocated to Thailand for different reasons.

Also, if you take a good look at the children around in this city you’ll notice that a lot of them are mixed children. I wonder how many of these kids are from Thai / Farang marriages, and how many are mishaps from customers while the girl worked in a bar in Pattaya or Phuket. What do you think?

Udon Thani surprised me. The city was exceptionally clean, the people here were genuinely friendly and I liked how everything was close to the train station and Central Plaza.

I stayed at this hotel, Silver Reef. It’s in walking distance to the train station, bus station, farang bars, the biggest shopping mall and the most popular nightclub in Udon Thani for the locals, Tawan Deang.

The hotel had great standard, was guest friendly, had a big king-sized bed and the WIFI was very fast. All that for under 400 baht on that location is a good deal if you ask me.


Nightlife in Udon Thani

Udon Thani has the biggest and best nightlife in the Isaan region of Thailand. It has a huge expat / farang bar scene, a ton of local nightclubs and bars, massage parlors, soapy massage avenues and karaoke bars.

I also found the Udon girls extremely beautiful and attractive, and I got attention from a ton of girls here.

The girls felt much more alive, genuine and happy than lets say Bangkok girls, where the heat, pollution and stressfull traffic jams takes a toll on the local people.

Udon girls also had much more curves and had that delicious caramel tan, contrary to the white skinned girls in Bangkok who usually are much more fragile and jolly.

In Udon, especially around Central plaza, there was a ton of hot girls just hanging out ready to be approached.


Farang bars with working girls

Udon Thani has two huge bar complexes with beer bars and working girls. With 6000 expats living in the city that might not come as a surprise. The energy here is much more relaxed than in Bangkok, Phuket or Pattaya. The girls here will be much more chill, and will rarely nag about lady drinks.

Day & night

Day & Night
Day & Night

Day and night is the biggest beer bar complex in Udon. It’s a big building with 20-30 bars tightly packed together.

Each bar had anything from 5 to 10 working girls in all ages and shapes. But most girls was in the late twenties or early thirties.

The place opens at sunset, and keep open until after midnight. At around 1 am the bars start to lower the music and drop the blinds with customers still inside.

Beer: 80 baht
Whisky: 100 baht

Barfine: 300 baht
Short-time: 1000 baht
Long-time: 1500-2000 baht

Nutty Park

Nutty Park Udon Thani
Nutty Park

Nutty park is another area, but smaller than Day & Night, that is farang oriented. You will find a handful of bars here with working girls, cheap beer and laid back music.

Beer: 80 baht
Whisky: 100 baht

Barfine: 300 baht
Short-time: 1000 baht
Long-time: 1500-2000 baht


Popular nightclubs

Tawan Deang

Tawan Deang stage i Udon Thani
Tawan Deang stage

Tawan Deang Pub was defiantly the most popular nightclub in the town. It’s a typical Thai avenue that you can find in several cities in Thailand.

The avenue has a huge stage with live entertainment all night. Live bands, dancers and coyote girls.

They play anything from Western hit music to popular Thai music. In the guest area there are tables where people can eat and drink while enjoying the social and the entertainment.

I usually buy a bottle of whisky when I go to places like these. Whisky, coke and ice cubes. If I ordner some food and snacks to the bill usually ends at around 1000 baht for a full night. Good deal if you ask me.


There are other popular nightclubs in Udon Thani also. I visited a place that was called Yellow Bird. My phone was out of power, so I could not get any pictures there. I have included location in the map + two other popular nightclubs that I have not visited yet. Sister bars and Phoenix.


Freelancers in Udon Thani

There are a handful of freelancers walking around close to the intersection between Soi Samphan Thamit and Prajak Sillapakom Rd. Check map for location. There are also some ladyboys hanging out here.

Going rate is as low as 500 baht!


Ladyboys in Udon Thani

If you are looking for ladyboys you are in the right city! Another cool thing is that they hang out on the same places as the regular bar girls. So if you go to the popular farang places like Day & Night you will find plenty of ladyboys.

A lot of them are quite beautiful too.


Map of Nightlife in Udon Thani


Video of Nightlife in Udon Thani

Bangkok Nightlife Areas

Bangkok has an amazing and diverse nightlife. No matter what you are searching for, you will find it in Bangkok. You will find anything from fully stocked nightclubs to laid back beer bars to amazing sky bars with breathtaking views of the Bangkok skyline.

Here are the top Bangkok Nightlife Areas.

I’m probably not lying if I tell you that Bangkok has the greatest nightlife in the world for the common man.

You can even book an escort to your hotel room Uber style, using Smooci. 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, you can go to the Smooci site and within a few quick clicks you can have a Bangkok hottie in a taxi on the way to meet you, with the ability to GPS track her all the way to your hotel.

Bangkok Nightlife Areas

bangkok nightlife areas
Panorama from Lebua State Tower.

Bangkok have four big nightlife areas located at different places in the city. For this guide I will tell you about three more that not many tourists know about which I think is good + some other bars outside the main avenues that are very good in my opinion.

Nightlife Areas

1: Sukhumvit Rd
2: Khaosan Rd
3: RCA
4: Silom Rd
5: Asiatique
6: Rod Fai Marked 2
7: JJ Green

Best redlight districts in Bangkok.
Best nightclubs in Bangkok.
Best skybars in Bangkok.

Check out the bottom of this post for map of all nightlife areas talked about in this post.

Sukhumvit Road

Sukhumvit Rd

Sukhumvit Rd is probably the most known nightlife area of Bangkok. You’ll find everything here. Beer bars, nightclubs, two of BKK’s most well known red light districts and a countless number of restaurants and massage shops. Most of the nightlife at Sukhumvit, especially from Nana to Phrom Phong, is catering to foreign men from 20-60 years old.

Nana – Nana is located at the beginning of Sukhumvit road. Most of the action is going on in Soi 4, Soi 7/1 and Soi 11. In soi 4 you’ll find one of the most famous red-light districts of Bangkok, Nana Plaza. Nana Plaza is filled with 20-30 gogo-bars and a handful of beer bars.

At soi 7/1 you will find a handful of beer bars. This street also houses Dr. Bj, a massage shop that will give you blowjob. Another unique bar in this street is The Devil’s Den. This bar you have to take atleast two girls to their private room.

At soi 8 you’ll find a handful of laidback beer-bars and some massage shops.

Best way to get to Nana is to take the BTS skytrain to Nana station.

Asoke – Just one BTS station down the road you’ll find another avenue of nightlife, Asoke. Here you will find one of Bangkoks most famous red-light districts, Soi Cowboy. Just as Nana Plaza, it houses around 20-30 gogo-bars + some beer bars and restaurants on the corners of the street. 200-300 meters up soi 23 you will find a cluster of girly beer bars and some very aggressive massage shops.

At soi 12 you’ll find a big nightclub named Insanity. This tends to fill up around 22.00 Fridays and Saturdays. 50 meter further in you will find The Den. A ‘luxurious’ karaoke bar with some pretty hot ladies outside.

Phrom Phong – Just one BTS station down the road from Asoke. You have Phrom Phong. Not much happening here, but there is some action on soi 33. A handful of beer bars and karaoke bars with some girls.


If you are going to stay in the Sukhumvit area when you visit Bangkok, check out my post about guest friendly hotels around the Sukhumvit area before you book.

How to get there:

Take the BTS to either Nana, Asok or Phrom Phong station.

Khaosan Road

Khaosan Rd

Different nightlife areas attracts different types of people. While Sukhumvit Rd attracts mostly men because of the red-light districts, Khaosan Rd attracts a younger generation of tourists that just want to party hard and have fun. Khaosan Rd is packed with tourists from all over the world 365 days of the year. Khaosan Rd is especially popular for backpackers, both men and female.

If you want to hit up with a white chick in Bangkok this street is probably your best shot.

Dont check IDKhaosan Rd is party-hard from sunset to sunrise. At Fridays and Saturdays some Thai people will come here too.

The street is packed with beer bars, many of them with live music playing popular music from the Western world. After midnight the street is usually packed with drunk tourists dancing in the street.

How to get there:

If you are not living near Khaosan Rd the only way to get here is by taxi or tuktuk. There is no skytrain or metro line that goes to this area of Bangkok yet.




RCA Bangkok

RCA, or Royal City avenue is a nightlife area that is mostly catering to Thai people. You will find a handful of high-end nightclubs and a lot of bars here.

The three most popular clubs in RCA are Route 66, Flix and Slim. Other than that there are a lot of other smaller and larger bars all around this area.

Even tho this area is catering to Thai people, foreigners are also welcome. What is good about this place is that the people are authentic. If you get along with a girl in this area, it’s most likely not because she want your money, but that she likes you.

How to get there:

Take the MRT to Phra Ram 9. Then walk of exit number 2. Take a taxi or a motorbike taxi from there to RCA.


Silom Road


Silom Road is another big nightlife area of Bangkok. It’s housing Bangkok’s third most famous redlight area, Patpong. Another famous street, but that is only for Japanese people, is Soi Thaniya.

Silom Rd is also housing the biggest gay scene in Bangkok in Silom Rd Soi 2 and Soi 4.


Kangeroo Club – Famous Blow-job bar in Patpong

Patpong are two parallell streets between Silom Rd and Thanon Surawong Rd.

Patpong 1 and Patpong 2.

Patpong 1 is a slightly bigger street and have a night market in the middle of the road from 18.00 to around midnight every day. Patpong 1 and 2 is filled with beer bars, gogo-bars and there are also countless massage shops around in the area.


Thaniya is a parallelle street of Patpong, and you’ll find it just below the skytrain station Sala Daeng.


Silom Rd Soi 2 and Soi 4

Soi 2 and 4 are housing Bangkoks biggest gay areas. Here you’ll find a lot of gogo bars with gay Thai boys, beer bars and massage parlors with guys massaging instead of girls.

How to get there:

If you are not living on Silom, and you want to check it out. The fastest way to get there is to take the skytrain to Sala Daeng BTS station.




Asiatique The Riverfront is located alongside Chao Phraya River (the biggest river through Bangkok).

Live Music
Live Music

Asiatique is a big gathering of restaurants, bars and gem shops. It’s open from 17.00 until midnight. There are some small roof bars also with nice view and live music.

This avenue seems to be catering mostly to Thai, but I have seen some tourists here too. For some reason Thai people seems to really enjoy this place, so if you have a date with a Thai girl this place is probably a good place to bring her.

The avenue also have a pretty big Ferris wheel and some other minor amusement park like facilities. The Ferris wheel costs 300 baht and will give you five rounds.

Taking a picture at the big Asiatique sign seems to be an popular activity here.

How to get there:

The easiest way to get here is to take the BTS skytrain to Saphan Taksin station. From there on there is a free shuttle boat that will take you to Asiatique. The boat goes every 10 minutes.


Rod Fai Night Market 2

This area I’ve just found out about, and I actually love it. It’s similar to RCA, but instead of nightclubs and expensive drinks it’s just a street filed with small cozy bars that sell mostly beer. All bars have small rooftops where you can look down to the main street while enjoying your food and drink.

A lot of bikers seems to come here, and the street is filled up with parked motorcycles in al shapes and forms.

A lot of hot Thai girls here, and they are authentic just like in RCA. Some bars also have live music.

I estimate that there is around 20-30 bars in this street packed together here. Just next to the bar street, there is a market (therefor the name) that is open Saturday and Sunday. This is actually a pretty cool market that sell a lot of fun stuff. Absolutely worth a look.

How to get there:

To get here you have to take the MRT to Thailand Cultural Center, then you walk of exit number 3. When you get out you walk take left, then the bar street is behind the first big shopping mall with the name Esplanade Shopping Mall.



Jatujak Green (JJ Green)

Jatujak Green

Similar area as the Rod Fai Night Market 2, but smaller in size.

When you arrive at JJ Green there will be a small market in front that sells clothes, food and other cheap products.

On the back side you have a half circle that are filled with around 10 bars. You can sit inside with AC, or outside on the roof tops enjoying the view while enjoying your food and drinks.

There’s a ton of university girls here as the area is close to several universities. A couple of times I’ve been here alone I watch farangs from a rooftop bar hitting on hot uni girls around in the area.

You should absolutely check out this place. 😀

How to get there:

Take the MRT to Chatuchak station. Follow signs to Chatuchak park. When you get on the outside there will be a bunch of motorbike taxis. Ask them to take you to the market. Should cost around 50 baht.


Other bars worth mentioning

Other then the main nightlife areas of Bangkok, there are also a lot of interesting bars and avenues outside them. Here are a few of them.

Loft to Bar

This one is pretty far out in “nowhere” in Bangkok, but I had a great time here! What is so great about this place?

Live music
Live music at Loft to Bar

The band that plays here are really awesome. They play a mix of popular music from Thailand and the west.

Not only that. You only pay 200 baht, and you can drink as much Singha as you can handle! Really good if you are on a budget and you like to drink beer!

Click here for location on Google maps.


Tawandang German Brewery

Not a place to go to if you are in Bangkok alone, but defiantly a place to check out if you travel with a group.

You start of here ‘early’, 5pm, eat delicious Thai food, then when everyone is full, they bring out their tasty German beer that is brewed in the same building.

When people start to get in the mood, tables, food etc the tables are removed and the entire place turn into a gigantic nightclub.

The avenue have a gigantic stage with entertainment all evening and night. They shuffle between Thai music, traditional music, Western music, house and a lot of other genres.

It’s a fun place.


Map of Bangkok Nightlife Areas.

That’s it for this time. I will update this post as soon as I learn more about Bangkok Nightlife Areas. I usually re-post a post if I do mayor changes to a post.

Happy Ending Massage in Bangkok

What’s going on guys? 🙂

I’ve decided to do a lot more guides from now on as they always ends up as my most popular posts. Who the hell care about my dating failures? I know they can be educative, as in don’t do what I do, but they do very poor in Google searches.

Bangkok have a myriad of different entertainment opportunities for grown men all around town. I’ve already covered so much about Bangkok. Just go to my Thailand page, go to the nightlife section at the top meny, and you can read everything you want about Bangkok.

If we ignore the chaos and how cramped the city is at times. It’s really the perfect city for grown men who want to have some fun. 🙂

Happy ending massage in Bangkok

Most of my friends that have come to Thailand have had their first sexual encounter in one of Thailand massage parlors.

Most will just go in for a regular massage, but then they are in the private room with the lady, she convinces him to do more than just a massage. These ladies really know how to make you horny.

A lot of guys that come to Thailand for the first time is also very shy when it come to ladies. So just having a ‘massage’, for then to end up in a private room with a lady, is a nice discreet way to ‘get it done’. If you go to a gogo-bar however, everyone knows what’s up when you walk out of the bar with a beautiful Asian lady. 🙂

Prices at Massage parlors in Bangkok (average) 1 hour:

Thai massage: 250 baht
Foot massage: 250 baht
Oil massage: 300 baht

Hand-job: 500 baht
Blow-job: 1000 baht
Sex: 1500 – 2000 baht

Note: If you have an oil massage, then decide to also let the girl blow you. You have to pay for the oil massage and the blowjob. Making it 1250 baht all together. 


Where to find happy ending massage in Bangkok

Massage Salons that offers extra can be found scattered all over Bangkok. In fact, most salons will offer it.

Usually when you go inside the salon, you will get a girl that are willing to do the extras. At some point under the massage she will tap you on the dick offering extras. If you say no she will usually leave, and another girl will come in and finish the massage in a regular way.

I’ve even been asked in the shopping malls for happy endings. So just because a place ‘look’ professional doesn’t mean it won’t do any dirty stuff.

However, if you go to a massage salon with the intent to get extras. There are several signs to look for. 

Usually the closer the massage salon is to a red light district, like Soi Cowboy or Nana, the more likely it is that it offers extras. If you walk past a salon, and 10 women scream “hey sexy man” or something like that, you can be sure that this is not just a regular massage salon.

Check the map on the bottom if this page for all locations. My favorite streets are marked in green. 🙂


Sukhumvit Rd between Nana and Asok

Between Nana BTS station and Asok BTS station there are several massage parlors scattered around. Most of them are on the south side of Sukhumvit Rd.

However, I have to be honest. Most girls that work here are not girls, but older women, most in their 40’s. It’s very rare I see anything here that I actually want to go further than a massage with.


Sukhumvit soi 4

This is where you will find Nana Plaza, one of Bangkok’s famous redlight districts. The same street, soi 4, also have massage parlors scattered all around. However, you are more likely to end up in one of the bars here or in one of Nana Plaza’s gogo bars, as this is what the street is famous for.


Sukhumvit soi 8 and soi 11

Sukhumvit soi 8 and 11 have some massage parlors here and there. Most of them will offer extras. These streets are just next to the Nana BTS station so it’s very easy to get here.

Sukhumvit soi 11 is actually my favorite street at Sukhumvit Rd for nightlife. It has a good mix of everything. Nightclubs, good food, massage joints, bars and some great sky bars. My favorite burger joint is in this street also.


Sukhumvit soi 23

What’s special with this street? It’s just on the corner between Asok BTS station and Sukhumvit MRT station. It’s easy and fast to get here no matter where in Bangkok you are.

About 200 m up this road you will find a cluster of 5-6 massage parlors with a lot of girls sitting outside yelling in customers. The girls here are much younger then in Soi 4, 8 and 11. In fact, I see hot girls here every time I go here.

These parlors are very dirty and it’s almost impossible to only get a massage here as the girls will be all over you as soon as you enter the room.


Sukhumvit soi 33

Not exactly massage parlors in the traditional way. This street have a lot of Karaoke bars and massage parlors that caters to Japanese people.

However, the girls have nothing against farangs, and you are just as welcome. Especially in the weekdays when the business is slow and most girls just play on their phone.


Sukhumvit soi 24/1

Anyone walking past this soi without knowing what’s inside would walk past it thinking it was just another soi in Bangkok. At the entrance there is really nothing interesting. Just a couple of street vendors selling noddle soup and fried rice.

50 meter in however, the scene is quite different. Suddenly the street is much more illuminated from all the neon lights, then you will see 50 – 100 girls in front of 10 – 15 massage parlors. Most girls here are young, fresh and sexy. I’ve seen a lot of hot girls here. 🙂

To get to soi 24/1 you should take the skytrain to Prom Phung BTS station, then exit exit nr 3.



Not really my favorite area of Bangkok, but if you happen to be in this are why not take a look? You might stumble upon something you like.

You will find a lot of massage parlors around on Silom Rd and Surawong Rd. If you don’t find any girl that you like, this area also have a ton of street vendors where you can eat cheap and delicious Thai food.

Not to forget all the gogo-bars in Patpong Rd that opens after dark and the kinky bars that you will find here.


Map of happy ending massage in Bangkok

What about the rest of Bangkok? 

Tim. What about Siam, or what about Khaosan Rd? Why have you ignored that?

Well. Most massage parlors in Siam, or Khaosan Rd are just regular massage joints that don’t offer extras. Some might offer extra, but it’s not the normal.

In some massage parlors you can ask the girl if she want to do extra if you like her, but some might say no, or hesitate for a first. You might also stumble upon girls in regular parlors, that are professional massage parlors, that offer you extras out of the blue. That have happened to me many times.

However, the places I have provided about offers extras 99% of the time, and some girls will pretty much jump on you as soon as you enter the private room.

30 days extension on VISA exception in Bangkok guide

Just had my 30 day VISA exception I got on arrival extended for another 30 days at the immigration office in Bangkok.

This place was a pain in the ass to find, and the information out there on how to get there, and how everything works is simply awful. So here is my take on it.

Location: Google Maps
Price: 1900 baht + 100 baht for 4 passport size pictures downstairs.
Open: 8.30 to 12.00 and 13.00 to 16.40 mon – fri.
Website: Here

People from India only get 7 days extra with this method. Click here for full list over what nationalities can do this.

How to get there

For some reason they have decided to build their new immigration office out in “nowhere” some kilometers southeast of Don Mueang Airport. To get here you have to take the MRT to Chatuchak Park station or the BTS to Mo Chit station.

When you are in the station you want to follow the signs towards Chatuchak Park. When you are out of the station there are four ways to get to the area that you need to go.

Minivan: Ask the minibus drivers what minibus goes to the immigration office. They will understand what you mean.

Free shuttlebus

The minibus will let you off at the entrance of the government area. From here there is still a good kilometer to the building you need to get to. There is a free shuttle bus that comes here every 5 minutes. Just wait for it then go off at building B.

This shuttle bus will take you to the east entrance of building B. When you get inside, go to left, then go all the way until you are almost out of building B again, and the immigration office is on the left side. It’s a small door, in a very big building.

Price: 25 baht for the minivan.

Bus: Bus 66 goes to the same area as the minivan. Don’t know exactly where this bus goes from, but they said it was bus 66. Follow as above when going of at government area.

Price: 8 baht.

Motorbike: When you get out of the station there will be a ton of motorbike taxis waiving you towards them. At least if you look like a question mark like I did.

They will say that they can drive you all the way to the where you need to go. However, I would not go with motorbike as it is quite far, and you have to go out on a highway. I don’t want to drive on a highway on a motorbike without a helmet with a dude that probably can’t even read.

Price: 200 baht


From Mo Chit / Chatuchak Park around 150 baht.
From Sukhumvit Nana / Asok area around 350 baht.

Taxis will take you all the way to the correct entrance at building B, as opposed to bus 66 or minivan.

You want to find this door in building B. You’ll find it all the way south in the building. It’s a quite small door in an otherwise gigantic building. I had expected something more obvious, so I used an eternity to find this place.

Immigration Office Bangkok building B


When you go inside, there will be an information desk where you explain what VISA you want to extend, and they will help you to the correct area inside.

The whole process took around 3 hours. When I got the queue number I understood after 5 minutes that this would take some time, so I went to the food court one floor down to eat some cheap noodles for 35 baht.

What you need to bring to speed up the process: 

  • A pen
  • Passport photos (can get here for 100 baht)
  • Come as early as possible, they open 8.30.
  • Your passport. 😛

They have lunch break from 12.00 to 13.00. If you are waiting in line at that time, you’ll have to sit and wait while they go to eat. So come early. I was there around 09.00 and it was already quite full.


Three different budgets for living in Thailand

Having a budget is probably one of the most important strategies for moving to Thailand successfully. There are no safety nets here that will catch you if you fuck up in any way.

In fact. Right now several foreigners are stuck in immigration detention centers around in Thailand because they used up their money, had no money to get back home, then got arrested for overstaying their visas.

Some people have no money or family / friends back home that can help them. These people can be stuck for months, even years in these detention centers.

Here is a video from Bangkok Immigration detention center. Does NOT look like a fun place.

If you don’t end up in one of the detention center, you’ll end up hanging out with these crazy bastards at Beach Rd in Pattaya.

It’s not a fate I wish on anyone! Imagine being stuck in Pattaya, with all those hot hookers, but with no money to do anything. 🙁

Here are three different budgets for anyone who want to move to Thailand. 

Remember that these budgets are very simplified. This is just to give you an idea. It’s not actually budgets that I recommend to use. I’ve also excluded VISA costs and travel insurance as those costs differs so much from people to people.

If you have a legit job in Thailand you don’t have to think about VISA, as you don’t have to go on VISA runs. If you are here on tourist visas like I am, you have to factor those trips into the budget too.

You also have to add the costs for travel insurance. Prices for insurance differs so much depending on what country you are from so there is no point for me to add it.


15.000 baht per month (450$)

This is what I call the “I’m moving to Thailand no matter what” budget. Your budget would look something like this:

Rent: 5000 baht
Food: 9000 baht
Fun: 1000 baht


What would a 5000 baht apartment look like? Well, that depends where in Thailand you want to live. For simplicity I will only talk about Bangkok, a place I have lived and know a lot about.

In Bangkok, if you live on the outskirts, like Bearing, Mo Chit, Bang Sue etc, 5000 baht would give you a simple room with a double bed, AC, maybe a small kitchen and a toilet. If you look long enough, or you know someone, you could maybe get something bigger with separate kitchen and bedroom.


9000 baht per month in food equals 300 baht per day. This is plenty as long as you eat local Thai food. Maybe you could save a little bit money if you buy a big pack of oatmeal and eat that to breakfast, and use those money to eat expensive Western food once in a while.

A meal in the local street kitchens and local restaurants usually cost between 30 and 80 baht. This food is delicious and clean. I’ve never had trouble with local food in Thailand.

200 – 300 baht per day is what I usually spend on food down here when I’m doing nothing or just working. It’s only when I go out with friends or into more touristy areas I’m using more money on food.


What kind of fun can you have for 1000 baht per month? To be honest. Not much. It’s enough for maybe one trip out in some bar. Places like Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza, Walking Street Pattaya or any popular nightclub in Thailand you can forget about.

At Levels in Bangkok you would have enough for 4 beers, and you’d had to walk home.


Should you move to Thailand if this is the budget you have to play with? I would say no fucking way. It would be boring as fuck as you only have money to exist, and that’s it.

I’m usually only on this budget when work for several days in a row. I will be inside all day working on my computer, go out and eat, then go back home to work more.


30.000 baht per month (900$)

This is the minimum, on average, I would budget per month for living in Thailand long time.

You’re budget would look something like this:

Rent: 8000 baht
Food: 13.000 baht
Fun and travel: 9000 baht


For 8000 baht per month you’ll get a modern condo outside downtown Bangkok (Siam, Nana, Asoke, Ekkemai).

At the outskirts (end stations of BTS and MRT) you could probably score a modern condo with shared swimming-pool, laundry / cleaning service and free shuttle-bus to the closest MRT / BTS station.


13.000 baht per month is more then plenty. You can eat cheap Thai dishes most of the month, but debauch once in a while with Western food or food in more ‘luxuries’ areas like a skybar or a high’end mall.

Fun and travel:

9000 baht should be enough for plenty of fun per month. Of course, you can’t go crazy every night like you would if you came her as an tourist for 3 weeks, but you can still have fun.


Who would I recommend this budget for? Anyone who is coming to Thailand with a plan to make more money. You can live of this budget for a while, while you expand your businesses, whatever they are.

As I see it. You need 15.000 – 20.000 baht per month to cover the minimum. Rent and food. Anything you make over that, you can use on whatever the fuck you want. Delicious food, travel, booze, hookers, membership at gyms, bling, better apartments or whatever you like.


50.000 baht per month (1430$)

This is what most of my Thai friends consider ‘enough’ money to live a comfortable life in Thailand. With 50.000 baht per month you will have a lot of economical freedom. You don’t have to think about every baht you are spending.

Your budget would look something like this:

Rent: 8000 – 20.000 baht
Food: 15.000 baht
Fun and travel: 15.000 – 27000 baht


With this budget you have a lot of freedom to choose where you want to live. You could spend less with a nice condo in the outskirts of Bangkok, or you could spend more to live more central. In Bangkok apartments seems to be more expensive the closer you are to Siam, Nana, Asok and Ekkemai.

For 15.000 baht in semi-central areas like Suttisan or Victory Monument. You’ll get a hyper-modern condo with good view, shared swimming-pool, laundry / cleaning service and free shuttle bus if it’s not in immediate distance to a BTS or MRT.


You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. You can even eat in nicer restaurants and skybars once in a while without worrying about going bankrupt.

You can go on dates regularly and pay for food and drinks for the girl you are out with.

Fun and travel

If you have this budget, and you are not tied to a job you have to meet up to. You can pretty much do whatever you want whenever you want.


50.000+ baht per month

There are no point of making budget over 50k+. The money you are making after the 50k mark will only go to better apartments, nicer food, more travel etc.



Other expenses


If you are on 60 days tourist visas, with the possibility to extend 30 more days at a immigration office. You have to go out of Thailand every 90 days.

I usually spend anything between 7000 baht to 20.000 baht on a VISA run, depending on how long I stay outside Thailand. That is on average 2400 to 6700 baht per month.

To find cheap flight tickets for VISA runs I usually go to Skyscanner. This site has that awesome function that you can choose departure, but leave arrival as “everywhere”. It will then find the cheapest flight ticket to “anywhere”.

Pretty dope, and you can discover some cities you never thought of going to.

Travel Insurance

Travel insurance prices varies A LOT depending on where you are from. Sometimes I meet guys down here, and when they tell me what they pay for insurance my jaw drops because it’s so much.

I have my travel insurance through my bank back home. I pay around 450$ a year for my insurance. That is with no deductible meaning I can demand back my money no matter how small the cost is.

It covers emergency medical and dental costs. <- The most important. But it also covers theft and vandalism of personal belongings like laptops and cameras.

Some of the reason why I get so good price is because everyone in my family have insurance through that bank, and we’ve got some good premiums over time.

If you can get insurance with your entire family, you should try to manage that. You can save a lot of money that way.

Computers, cameras, equipment etc… 

Have any hobbies or you like to buy new tech? You will have to put that into you budget too.

I love to take pictures and to do videos. Because of this I buy a lot of camera gear. There are so many good shops in Bangkok for camera gear. Sometimes I wish I was rich so I could go berserk in the shopping malls here. It’s absolutely insane what you’ll find here if you look around.

Buffer money

I can’t even tell you how important it is to have a buffer when you live in countries like Thailand. You never know what will happen. What if you fuck up a tooth and you need to get a new tooth? That shit is not cheap even here in Thailand. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to walk around looking like a pirate.

What if you crash a motorbike, your own or a bike that you rented. You have to pay for that shit one way or another. In most cases it doesn’t even matter if it’s your fault or not.

It’s always a nice to have a pile of cash stored somewhere just in case something unlikely should happen.


As you can see, you can live a lot of different lifestyles in Thailand.

Personally I could never live on 15.000 baht per month, but some weeks ago I met a girl from Poland that lived in Chiang Mai because she learned Thai massage in a temple(?). She said she spent only 3000-4000 baht per month on food.

I didn’t understand how that was possible, then she said she was a vegan, and that she made most of her food herself.

In her sparetime she never went out drinking and spent most of her time reading books or doing yoga.

On the other hand. If you go out partying in the hottest nightclubs in Bangkok every weekend, and drag back hookers every second night, you can spend her monthly food budget in a single hour.

You need to find out what lifestyle you want to live in Thailand, then you have to figure out if you have the money for that lifestyle. If you have, everything is fine. If you don’t, you have to adjust, or find out ways to make more money.

I think, since I moved to Thailand in 2015. I’ve spent on average 50k – 60k baht per month.


Great daygame spots in Bangkok

What going on guys? 😀 

There’s no doubt that online dating is the fastest and most efficient way to meet and date Thai girls in Bangkok. You can hit up hundreds of girls in no-time and meet them the same day, and you can start hitting up girls before you even arrive Thailand. Internet magic right there guys!

However, nothing can beat the rush of some ‘oldschool’ chasing. In fact, it’s healthy to hit on girls in real life as it keeps your social antennas up to date.  If you stay online for too long you will end up as some old weirdo that girls will run away from while having a full on panic attack. You find these people all over Thailand’s dirty scene. These losers haven’t talked to a ‘real’ girl for decades and have no idea how to be a pleasant human being and they don’t know how to read signals so they have no idea when to stop or when they do something wrong.

Anyways. That’s not what you are here for.

Here are some great day game spots in Bangkok. Yes, you can hit on girls all over town. But as you know Bangkok is a messy place and not all places are comfortable.


Shopping malls

I’ve marked the shopping malls in green on the map above. There are a lot more shopping malls in Bangkok, these are only a few of them. In fact, there is pretty much a shopping mall outside every skytrain and metro station.

At Siam there are a cluster of big ass shopping malls with a ton of hot girls working, shopping and hanging out. There is a cinema at top floor at every mall. Great place to hang out as all of them have comfortable sofas and dimmed lighting.

Go crazy guys! 😀



Parks are another great place to hit on Thai girls. From Mon to Fri most parks are filled with people who like to exercise. I’ve seen some really hot girls here that are in top-notch shape.

In the weekends the parks are filled with people chilling and hanging out. Most people with good office jobs that give them time off in the weekends.

Chatuchak Park
Chatuchak Park



Tim, wtf? 

I’ve never seen any Thailand blog or Youtube-channel mention the hospitals in Bangkok. That is strange because they are packed with hot nurses in nursing outfits. Just linger in the area around a hospital and it wont take long until you see a hot nurse. Then you can ask her out to a coffee shop. They won’t mind that. 🙂


Go to Siriraj Hospital. This hospital is on the other side of the Chao Praya river. The only way to get to the other side is by boat. Linger around the ferry pier. When you see a hot nurse going on the boat, you make sure you get the seat next to her. 🙂

If you get serious with her. She can tell all her friends that “you just came out of thin air at the boat when she was done with her shift”. How romantic isn’t that? <3



Here are some randoms spots around town that I’ve found good to hit up chicks.

Victory Point

This is just next to Victory Monument. It’s just a chillout place with a lot of benches and a tent’ish roof. A lot of people hang out and relax here while they drink a ice coffee. This area is also a transportation hub between the skytrain and buses around the town.

Victory point
Victory point

Platform between Siam Paragon and Siam Center

For some reason a lot of Thai people stop here to take pictures. Sometimes there are some cute art exhibitions here that the girls like to get a picture in front. What a great opportunity to help them and maybe get a conversation going? 😀



There are probably a ton of other great places to chase Thai girls. If you know about some spots that should be mentioned in this post, tell me about them in the comment section so I can add them to the map.


Two not-so-great places to hit up girls

Coffee shops

Maybe I’ve just been unlucky, but most girls that I’ve talked with in coffee shops have pretty much ignored me or been pissed off. From what I understand Thai girls look at the coffee shops as a ‘holy-grail’ where they can get some peace from everyday life, noisy streets and the heat while they enjoy their cold ice-coffee.

I think it’s that simple. Let the girls have a free space where they can just relax. I’m not trying to sound like a feminist here..

Sky-train and metro stations

Why do all Thailand bloggers and YouTubers always mention these areas? They suck. It’s crammed, hot and people are just tired and want to go home. It’s a really shitty place to hit up girls.

Does this place look fun??

That it for this time. Remember to tell me in the comment section if I’ve forgotten som good places to hit up girls. Lets share our knowlegde!

9 things I hate about Thailand

Here is some random stuff that really grind my gears down here in Thailand. This post do contain some wildly inappropriate generalizations, but I don’t give a shit honestly. Please don’t take this post too seriously. 🙂

Soo. Here we go…


1: Rude hookers

Stop asking me for lady drinks the moment you approach me. Don’t start our little friendship with ‘can I have a drink pleaaaaseee?”..

What about you start with a fucking “heeloo. Can I sit with you?”. Then you make me happy, act cute and charming and all that stuff for 5 to 10 minutes. Then we can discuss that lady drink. I’m not asking for much here..

This is how it SHOULD be: You make me happy –> I buy you a drink

This is NOT how it should be: I buy you a drink –> I hope that you will be fun

I actually blame this one on stupid farang men. Stop giving the girls a tip just because she’s hot. That’s how you breed spoiled whores who ask for money before she even did anything to make you happy.

Some loser men just give away money, and the girls have figured this out. Yaaay.. Now we have whores that nags for free money. Good fucking job congratulation..


2: Chinese tourists

All you guys can sincerely go to hell. I’ve already written why I hate Chinese tourists, and that post border to hate speech.

Enough said.


3: Traffic jams

I’ve accepted that traffic jams do happen in Thailand, but once in a while I need to rant about it. I need to get out the frustration that have accumulated over time.

This venting usually happens in a random taxi late at night in Bangkok with a random girl/hooker on the tow, and a worried taxi driver in front thinking I am about to start a riot.


4: Hospitals

If you thought the hookers in Soi Cowboy looked at you like a walking ATM machine, wait until you have visited a hospital in Thailand. They will throw an avalanche of meds on you no matter what is wrong with you.

They know that you have travel insurance and don’t give a shit about the costs. Most people will just take whatever the doctor give them and trust that it is the right decision.

I’m no doctor but I’m a big believer that the body can fix itself in most cases. No need to take a ton of meds for every condition. Some meds have serious side effects you know.. Don’t take this shit for fun..

Usually I just go to the doc to exclude serious conditions, but they always try to sell you stuff. Don’t you think the docs down here get a cut from the meds they sell? They probably do…

So.. Do they make their decision with their wallets, or with their knowlegde..? That’s up to you to decide…

I’m so tired of calling my GP doctor back home asking what pills are unnecessary to take after I get out of the hospital (usually 80-90%) of them.

I had stomach pain, ended up with this.


4: Power cuts

This happens once a week on average, and it happens mostly at night, in rainy season, when it’s hot and humid… What sucks about this is that most AC here don’t turn back on when the power comes back, making me wake up in the morning in a lake of sweat combined with a headache from dehydration.

6 months ago the power distribution in my block exploded. I’m not even mad, it’s absolutely incredible..


5: The ticket machines at Sukhumvit metro station

This is probably the most specific complaint on this list, but whatever..

There are 6.3 million people living in Bangkok. A lot of those goes through Sukhumvit station, especially in rush hours.

How many ticket machines are there? 4…….. Yes fucking four………

I’ve no idea how many times I’ve been stuck in that ticket line… Sometimes you have to wait 20 minutes to buy a 25 baht ticket. That doesn’t feel good…


6:  Western women

Is it just me or do Thailand attract the most ugly fat farang females on the planet? Or is it maybe that you see them next to hot Asian women, and they simply pale (literally and metaphorically) in comparison?

I have no idea…

Why the fuck do they even come to Thailand? Spain have nice beaches too, and it’s much closer.


7: Indian tourists

These dirty motherfuckers are everywhere these days. The middle class in India is ricing, and for some reason they have to bring their entire family tree to Thailand.

Most Indians are humorless, have inflated ego’s, lack social antennas and are very rude. Very much like the Chinese guys just a million times more smelly.

One time I was walking around in Sukhumvit Soi 8 and out of nowhere a random Indian guy spat on me while he was passing in his tuktuk. I hope he crashed and died.

15% of my Google hits come from India, but I don’t give a shit. You guys need to hear it, take a fucking shower and get some basic manners…

(My Indian tailor in Sukhumvit Soi 15 is exempted from this generalization).

8: Squat toilets

One of my first memories with these toilets was my second trip to Thailand when I was in Sukhothai. I had eaten something my stomach did not appreciate and I ended up with an anal leakage that went all directions out my asshole.

I became so tired in my thighs that I eventually had to sit down. Luckily there was a plastic bucket there, so I sat on the bucket, praying that it wouldn’t crack.

When I was done there was shit everywhere…

Not my proudest day.

Love them or hate them.

Fun fact: Squat toilets are in fact more healthy for your anus than regular toilets.

9: Security checks on BTS, MRT and malls in Bangkok

If you are looking for a good joke. Watch the security guys working at the check points around in Bangkok.

I always have to open my backpack for these guys, but they never even bother to look inside. They just do a quick peep on the top item with a flashlight that’s not even turned on, but what’s hiding under the top item (like a bomb) they never check.

Not to mention the metal scanner you have to go through, the alarm goes of on every damn person passing it, but they don’t do any further investigation on anyone…

I’m sure I could bring a rocket luncher through these check points and they would not notice.


Is there something you hate about Thailand? Comment in the comment section! 😀

I want a girlfriend in 2017

I have to be honest. I want a girlfriend. I miss it. I’m tired of running over new girls non-stop, sometimes several new girls a week. I need a change.

I’m tired of being a butterfly.

Right now I have 4 girls I can call at any given time to have sex with in Bangkok.

I have around 10 girls I can contact to have sex, but with some promise of something in return like a dinner or in best case just some sweet talk.

I have two big redlight districts close by, Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy, that offer hundreds of girls every night all year for a small slump of money.

As I said in my last post. This place is really a pussy paradise and girls will jump on your dick from every direction.

But I need a break from it. I’m ready for the benefits of having a GF.

Furthermore, I’ve been working hard on my six-pack lately, so it should be no problem getting a GF.

If I had a girlfriend we would travel all around Thailand in the weekends, do fun stuff together, fuck like rabbits and perhaps have some decent conversations while we sip coconut juice at the beach.

Here are some pros of having a GF in Thailand: 

1: No need to use condom. Sex feels better. MUCH better. 😀
2: Teach each other what you like to do in bed.
3: You will save 50% on rent. Hopefully.
4: You will get a bigger network of friends.
5: You don’t have to do housework, clean your clothes or cook food. Ever.


I don’t want children, get married or anything crazy like that. But I do miss having a GF. Just one smoking hot girl that I can cuddle with late at night.

In fact. I think I have found a potential GF already. Here’s why:

She’s good in bed – Her skin is smooth as silk, she has a gorgeous smile and she’s hot. Easily a 9/10. I obviously need a girl who I’m attracted to sexually, otherwise it wont work.

She takes care of her appearance, always smell good and dress properly. She’s a cool girl.

She can speak English – A lot of Thai girls suck in English. I know how to speak basic Thai, but I still need a girl who know how to speak English. If we are out eating with friends, and my girl can’t talk English, she will just sit there like a big question mark and stay passive. That would be as fun as jumping out of a building head first.

I have no problem with banging girls who can’t talk English, but I would never date them in a serious manner.

She have a good job and is educated – She have a bachelor degree, and she works for a well-known international company. She makes well over average in Thailand. That means she wont ask me for money. I don’t want to be her economical babysitter.

I don’t want a lazy Thai girl who stays home sleeping away 14 hours of the day waiting for pocket money.

She like to do housework – When she comes over to my apartment. She will lock herself into my bathroom and start clean my clothes. I’ve not asked for this. In fact. I say she don’t have to do it because I can do it myself or deliver it to laundry.

“Noo. I am women. It’s my job. Laundry service no good jing jing” she answer..

Ok ok… Relax.. I’m not complaining, I’m just saying… Whatever makes you happy sweetheart. 🙂


No girl is perfect in paradise

What I don’t like with her is that she have the most typical Thai characteristics in the book. She can be very jealous and she love to play with her phone. I don’t think it’s possible to find a girl in Thailand that doesn’t have these characteristics.

Other than that I do enjoy being with her.


Want a GF in Thailand? 

I tell everyone that comes to Thailand to wait a good while before they get into any serious relationship. 99% of men that comes to Thailand are starved on sex and can’t think clear on arrival.

You don’t know anything about the culture here, so you don’t know what clues to look for if a girl is good or not. You can read up on blogs etc, but you still need some practice in the field before you start doing important life decisions like who you will date longtime / marry.

If you find a girl in the Western world that likes to party, have a couple of tattoos and smoke cigarettes. It’s no big deal. She’s probably just a regular girl who have a regular daytime job. If you find a girl in Thailand who does the same stuff there’s a good chance she’s a whore who sucks a new dick every night.

If you find a girl in the Western world that thinks you’ve been out with another girl every time you’re not together, she’s probably mentally ill. If you find a Thai girl who think’s in the same pattern it just means she’s Thai.

If you find a girlfriend too fast there is a good chance that:

  1. She is not a she.
  2. She is a bar girl
  3. Just want your money (don’t they all??)
  4. She “forget” to take the pill
  5. All the above

Finding true love takes time. It’s not done after one week in Pattaya on your first trip to Thailand. Never get a girlfriend in Thailand before you have been here so many times that you start to get a grip for Thailand and the culture.

Thai girls who look for foreigners to exploit can see that you are a newcomer from a mile away. You light up like a lighthouse among all the regulars. Even I can spot you now because you look like this everywhere you go:

I’ve already written a ton about how you can find fuckfriends, dates or girlfriends in Thailand, what to watch out for, tips and tricks etc. Have a look around the website or click this link to see every post about dating in Thailand.

Have you ever had a girlfriend in Thailand? Tell me about your experiences in the comment field. 🙂

Location Report | Koh Chang – Thailand

Happy New Year guys! 😀 

Time to start the new year with a fresh location report straight from my new favorite island in Thailand; Koh Chang! 😀

Holy shit did I have a great time. The vibe on this island was absolutely fantastic! 😀

I spent one week here. The three first days with a hot girl from Bangkok, after that she had to go back to Bangkok to work, which gave me a great opportunity to explore the more dirty aspects of the island (hookers, dirty massages and booze 😀 ).

In fact. I’m seriously thinking about packing my shit and get my ass down to Koh Chang for a longer period. I’ve been in Bangkok way too long, and I find myself thinking more and more about the time I lived at Koh Pha Ngan. I really miss the simple life, that was after all why I moved to Thailand.

Island life in Thailand is really amazing and I think I just found my new home. I love the relaxed lifestyle and vibe.


Koh Chang explained

Where to stay at Koh Chang?

Where to go at Koh Chang


Westside of Koh Chang

This is were 99% of the stuff is going on. The entire westside is filled with resorts, bungalows, restaurants, bars and beaches in varied degree. But to be more exact:

Northwest Koh Chang

This is where you’ll find white sand beach. The beach was great, but personally I didn’t like this area of the island. It’s too crammed with resorts, bungalows, annoying beach sellers, malls and other shit. Tourism have trashed this area completely. 🙁

Not to mention that it’s extremely expensive to stay here in high season. I looked at some 4-5 stars resorts and they demanded 15.000 baht per night. Fuck that shit…

I remember I was at Koh Chang back in 2012 and this area was not nearly as developed as it is now. They’ve really raped the beauty of this once little charming town. In 2012 you could see the beach from the main road, today you can only see 2-3 floor buildings stuffed with Pizza Company’s and Family Marts. It’s really sad.

Midwest Koh Chang

I didn’t explore this area so much. Seems to be just like white sands beach, but with less development, more high-end resorts and a shittier beach. Nothing to see here.

Southwest Koh Chang

This was my favorite place on the island. It had the perfect balance between developments and nature. Not so much development that it destroyed the beautiful surroundings, but not so little that you were practically out in the jungle.

This area also had several beautiful and relaxed beaches. Nature Beach, Lonely Beach, Lisca Beach and BangBao Beach. The beaches in south also had much less beach sellers, which was nice.

If you’re into smoking weed Southwest seems to be the place too. You had Rasta beach and Rasta View. The last one a restaurant with a Rasta / Bob Marley theme. Weed was not at the meny, but it smelled weed everywhere in this area. So it can’t be hard to get. 🙂

I was also told, by several people, that police never went south of white sand beach. So it should be very safe to smoke here. 🙂


Eastside of Koh Chang

Nothing happening here. Mostly Thai people living in this area.

Southeast of Koh Chang

This is where I spent the three first night with my Bangkok girl. We spent the on a hideaway bungalow resort all the way down south on the island. This resort is not on Agoda or Booking.com. You can find it here on Google maps. It’s called Tantawan Bungalows.

1km north of Tantawan Bungalows you have Long Beach. If you really want to hide away this place is for you. The beach is about 1km long and the days we were there it was maybe 10 people on the beach.

North of Long Beach there was a small restaurant selling refreshments, coconuts and Thai food.


Available girls (3/5)

Koh Chang had a lot of cute girls around the island. This kind of surprised me because the local girl situation on most islands in Thailand is complete shit. Maybe the fact that Koh Chang is on the east side of Thailand, next to Cambodia, have something to do with it? Just a thought…

There is no secret that the longer south you go in Thailand, the uglier the local buffe becomes. 🙁

Regular girls

If you want to hook up with regular girls on Koh Chang. Online dating, the malls and Bang Bao pier is your best bet. There are Tesco Lotus and BigC malls all around the island. Here you can enjoy AC while you try to hit up some local cuties.  

BangBao Pier is also a pretty good spot. This is a gigantic pier southwest on the island with its own marked..! The pier is about 1km long and on each side of the pier there are small houses with shops and restaurants. A lot of hot girls here. 🙂 They even have their own hospital on the pier.. Wtf…


In each town down the Westside of the island you will find bars with bargirls. The biggest bar complex is in the town of white sand beach, Had Sai Khao. Then the bar complexes get smaller and smaller the more south you go on the island. When you get all the way down to Lonely Beach, there was just one bar with bargirls…

I did see some hot girls in the bars, but it’s limited. If you’re staying at Koh Chang for more than 2 weeks you will have to use the same girls over again.

Farang girls

There are a lot of farang pussy on white sand beach, BangBao beach and Lonely beach. In fact, there are a ton of farang pussy everywhere on this island. Unfortunately, it seems like a lot of them are coming here with their boyfriends from back home.

Party situation (2/5)

The party situation on Koh Chang is relaxed. There are no crazy nightclubs here that are full every night of the week. The nightlife here mainly consist of small bars with a laid back vibe. Some bars will have live music x amount days of the week.

Southeast on the island reggae seems to be the main theme. I love reggae, so that doesn’t bother me.

Lonely beach seems to be the place where young tourists and backpackers gather to have beach parties. A little bit like Full Moon party at Koh Pha Ngan, but on a much smaller scale. I spent the new years eve on Lonely Beach, and it was hundreds of people there. Great fun!


Stuff to do (5/5)

Oh man. This island is epic! There is so much fun stuff to do.

Chill on the beautiful beaches, flirt with Thai girls, go on crazy motorbike adventures, explore the rain-forest and the waterfalls, go on a mountain-hike, go scuba-diving, bang some hookers, play guitar on an open scene at the reggae bars, relax, go on beach parties, get to know new people, try amazing Thai food, buy an old dirtbike for 3000 baht and fuck it up offroad, go shoot guns at the shooting range.

It’s a lot of stuff to do here. 🙂

But I’m happy with just the fact that it’s a beautiful tropical island with just enough hot Asian babes for a man to get by. 🙂

My favorite thing to do on Koh Chang however was to drive the motorbike. I even rented a 600cc sport bike for two of the days. GREAT FUN! There are a lot of fun curvy mountain roads on the islands to test your riding skills.

On the eastside of the island there are many straight roads with zero developments where you can push the throttle to max.

I met a lot of other bikers on the island, and one of the days I was following them all the way southeast on the island back to where I spent my three first days with the Bangkok girl.

Long beach restaurant
Long beach restaurant


Cost of Living (5/5)

Koh Chang can be very cheap and very expensive. It depends on where you stay. The most expensive area of the island is Had Sai Khao where you’ll find 5 stars resorts that goes for 15.000 baht per night in the high season. You can get a good deal if you book your hotel early from agoda.com or booking.com.

If you go more south on the island around Lonely beach or BangBao beach, you’ll find a lot of cheap bungalows with ok standard. I saw bungalows as low as 150 baht!!!

You won’t find these super cheap bungalows at agoda.com or booking.com as far as I know (correct me if I’m wrong). You’ll have to go there yourself and ask for room. The cheapest I saw was at Rasta View Bungalow for 150 baht per night, you can see location at google maps here.

Food was very cheap too. I ate most of my food in the small local Thai restaurants. I ate my usual dishes like fried rice, pad krapow and Geang Ped. I paid between 30 – 60 baht for these dishes.

I also ate a really tasty pizza at a restaurant called Sleeping Owl. See location here.

50 baht fish :)
50 baht fish 🙂

It’s completely possible to live of 400 baht per day on Koh Chang, with accommodation included. If you want motorbike make it 600 baht. That’s pretty good if you ask me. It won’t be fun to live that cheap forever, but if you are making an online business it can be a great way to save money while you work, for a while. 🙂

If you have a local girl to have fun with, you have everything you need! A place to sleep and work, a tropical island, cheap healthy food, transport and pussy.


Safety (5/5)

I have nothing to say really. The only thing I would be careful with are the songthaew taxis at night. Especially when it’s raining. There are some crazy mountain roads between the towns at the island.

The worst road are between the west-side of the island and the ferries to the mainland on the east side. Consider renting a motorbike by the ferry if you want to drive that road yourself, and not in the back of a old beaten up pickup truck.

Thai people have no fucking clue about road safety. I prefer to drive myself whenever I have the opportunity.

Southeast of Thailand, Koh Chang included is the area of Thailand with the highest malaria risk. So if you are staying in a cheap bungalow you should probably buy a mosquito net.



As I said in the beginning of this post. I’m seriously thinking about moving to Koh Chang. I’ve been in the big city for too long. I’m ready to live the laid back lifestyle again with beaches and coconuts. I also miss riding bikes on a regular basis. You can’t do that in Bangkok because of all the traffic jams.

Hot season is right around the corner too, and I’m not very keen on living in Bangkok. When it’s 40 degrees celsius it really helps with an ocean and a motorbike to cool off. 🙂

My nasal congestion gets worse by the day living in Bangkok from all the pollution too. You can’t even see the sky here because of all the skyscrapers. I need a break from that. If I need to go back to Bangkok it’s only 5 hours away with bus. It’s not that bad, there is even an airport in Trat if I need to get to Bangkok fast.

I really liked Koh Chang. It had a good mix between developments and maintaining nature (except white sand beach). The local people here where really friendly, the ‘regular’ tourists stays at white sand beach and the backpackers where not as annoying as on Koh Pha Ngan. Maybe Koh Chang attracts a different type of young backpackers? I don’t know..

I also know that I will save a lot of money if I move to Koh Chang.

The only part that makes me skeptical about living on Koh Chang is the rainy season. I’ve heard it’s really really bad, with the most rainy days in all of Thailand. I can believe that because when I was driving my motorbike around the island a lot of the roads where broken or limited because of flash floods or heavy rain.

Rainy seasons is still 5 months ahead in time, so I should not worry about that right now. 🙂

If you want to be a butterfly and go nuts with a new girl every night. Forget about this island. The island is just too small, and the population is to low. A key to being a successful butterfly is staying low. As soon as a local girl on this island start to date a farang, I’m sure the entire island knows it in two days. Be careful.


Total Score

Available girls:     3/5
Party situation:   2/5
Stuff do to:           5/5
Cost of Living:      5/5
Safety:                   5/5

Goodbye Boring Life Score: 

       20 / 25


Have you been at Koh Chang? What did you like about the place? Tell me in the comment section.

3 reasons I don’t like Thailand’s go-go bars

What’s going on guys? 😀 

The go-go bars in Thailand can be a real fucking blast! If you are looking for hot girls to drag back to your hotel then go-go bars would be my first choice. Some go-go bars really know what girls to employ so they can make you happy.

That said, nothing is perfect, and there are a few things that really grind my gears about them. Here are three of them.


1: Intrusive staff

This is the absolute worst. Sometimes mamasan will come over demanding me to take a girl..

“You want this girl, that girl, or this one??? You must choose one!”….

No, I don’t have to choose a girl you piece of shit. I’m here to relax and have a great time with my fucking beer. If I don’t want a girl, I don’t want it. There was no sign outside the bar warning me that I had to take a girl, so fuck off.

Nothing is worse in the go-go bars than to have an old 40-year-old rude skunk telling you what to do. If this happens I usually drink up my beer, pay and leave. This is the only way they will change. Don’t accept shitty behavior like that.

In fact, that is the only reason why they behave like that. Some loser farang will give in and pick a girl. And he will probably end up with a shitty girl who asks for a lady drink every 10 seconds. Which brings me to my next point…

Demanding bar girls.. 

Yeah. I get it that you are trying to make money, and I understand that you want to make as much money as possible too. Everyone wants more money.

However, your primary job is to entertain me. Asking for a ladydrink every 10 second is not entertaining, it’s nagging. Therefore, you failed your job and I won’t buy a single drink to you.

I don’t ask my readers for 10 dollars to access this website. I let my readers read first for free, and if they want to support me by buying me a beer (ladydrink hihi), or buy a Thai Cupid membership, that’s fantastic. But I wont beg for it…


2: Music is too loud

Why the fuck do they have to play the music so loud? I literally have to yell people in the ear so they can hear what I’m saying.

I want to vet my girl before I bring her back to the hotel. I want to find out what she’s about, maximizing my odds to pick a girl that will actually give me a good time. A hot girl is not enough for me. I want a hot girl with good attitude if you know what I mean..

The volume in the go-go bars makes this almost impossible. I have to yell people in the ear, and other people have to yell me in the ear. Thai people’s English skills doesn’t exactly make the communication any better either..

I think go-go bars in Thailand only employ DJ’s that are deaf, or they have become deaf after playing too loud music for years. What’s the fucking point?

All I can say is, protect your ears in Thailand. This shit is not healthy.


3: The hottest girls are on the outside

I kind of get this one from a business perspective. Pretty girls at the outside will attract more people inside. Totally get it.

If the girl on the outside has a number-tag on her hip or shoulder, you can usually ask the staff when you get inside for that girl, and they will bring her in.

However, it’s so disappointing when two pretty girls drag you into the bar, and as soon as you sit down they disappear like a fart in the wind. Then you realize there are only skunks on the stage, and you can’t leave because you are waiting for your beer…

If you are even more lucky you will have an obese mamasan over you nagging about drinks and girls.

Never sit down to order before you have taken a good look at the girls on the stage. I usually tell the staff that I have to go to the toilet first. That way they can’t hang over me like a hawk. When I get out of the toilet the staff will most likely leave me alone, giving me time and peace to take a good look at the girls on the stage.

If there are no hot girls I’ll go straight out of the bar and try the next one. 🙂


There you have it. Three reasons why I don’t like the go-go bars in Thailand. All three reasons can be dealt with if you know what you are doing. So it’s not really that bad, ey? 😀

Where to find cheap sex in Pattaya

High season is just around the corner, and in a couple of weeks we will start to see the bars, beaches and the streets of Pattaya fill up with horny gentlemen from all over the world. Good times, good times will come! 😀

Unfortunately, when demand goes up, prices goes up, up ad UP! Fuck man, that is life….. 🙁

If you’re on a tight budget, don’t worry. I will do whatever I can to help out a fellow monger!


The cheapest sex in Pattaya

If you are looking for sex, expect to pay 1000 baht a pop. You can find sex cheaper than this, but it would probably be an old beaten up skunk with a ton of make-up and stretch marks everywhere. Not my idea of fun.


The blow job bars

Okay. I think the blow-job bars offer great value. You won’t get sex, but blow-jobs.

Dont be depressed yet. These girls really know how to suck cock. If a girls really know what she’s doing, I think it’s even better than regular vaginal sex with condom.

If you’re not picky on looks, you can take an old lady that have been doing this job the last 20 years. She knows her stuff and will drain your balls like no other girl have ever done before. Trust me on this guys!

Or you can choose a petite little shy newcomer and cum all over her pretty little face while she has a panic attack. It’s really up to you. 😀

I’ve already covered where you can find blow-job bars in Pattaya in this post. So check it out for more information. Expect to pay anything between 700 to 1000 baht for a blow job.

If blow jobs is not enough for you, and you want hot wild sex with a lady all night long in your hotel bed. Then your next best shot is the freelancers.

Freelancers at Beach Rd

Just because a girl is a freelancer, doesn’t mean that she’s a toothless old skunk with HIV and a missing leg. Some girls just prefer to work on their own. They have complete ownership over their own income, and they can choose when they want to work. Some girls just prefer that style.

They don’t want to sit in a bar all night long pushing people to buy drinks, or dance on a scene for 6 hours in a Gogo bar.

You can find freelancers all over Beach Rd that goes along, you guessed it, the beach! 😀

It’s literally hundreds, if not maybe thousands of girls on this street every night waiting for customers. Just walk up and down Beach Rd while you look at the buffet, until you find a girl that you want to drain your balls in.

Negotiation is possible, but don’t be to aggressiv. What I usually do is to tell the girl that I will give her what she want, if she does an outstanding job. If not, I will give her 300-500 baht less.


Caution with freelancers

If you take a freelancer, you have to bring her back to your hotel (Unless you take her It have happened that freelancers have stolen stuff from their customers. This is how you avoid that:

  • Make the girl shower first. When she is done, make her leave her clothes and purse at the bathroom while you take a shower. If she want to steal your stuff. She will have to run out of the hotel naked in a towel.
  • Put all your cash and credit cards in the safe, or bring it with you when you take a shower.

Girls that drug down their customers

I think this is mostly an urban myth. I’ve never heard about anyone, or talked with a anyone that have been drugged down by a hooker in Thailand. I’ve only read stories about it on strange places on the Internet.

I would not worry to much about this.

Watch out for bad behavior

Some girls that works as freelancers do so because they got kicked out or their bar from bad behavior. Some have also caught serious diseases like HIV or Hepatitis. Always use condom with these girls.

Build report 

To avoid a freelancer with bad behavior, build report with the girl. Talk with her for 10-15 minutes before you decide to take her back. That way you have a feel for how she is. You could even bring her for some food. Thai girls love to eat, as long as you pay she won’t say no, and you have more time to build report. 🙂


Freelancers in nightclubs

The nightclubs in Walking Street is filled with freelancers, especially after midnight. You are probably more likely to find a girl here that is up for some serious fun. They have already been drinking and have loosen up much more than the girls that are just standing around in the streets.

Insomnia and Ibar have freelancers all over the dance-floor, and around the bar, after midnight.

Negotiation is possible, and if the girl really likes you she might even go with you for free. If she went there with a friend. Well.. Maybe you are about to try your first threesome? 😀 😀

Expect to pay 1000 – 1500 for a freelancer in the nightclubs short time, and 1500+ for long-time.


Happy ending massage in Pattaya

There is not a street in Pattaya that doesn’t have a massage shop. They are literally everywhere, and all of them offer happy endings. I’ve been doing this game so long now. I just take the oldest and fattest lady I can find.

They have been doing this job for decades. They know how to massage you, they have strong hands, trust me, these women will dismantle you with their hands. At the end I let them suck me off, I don’t even care how they look. I just close my eyes and enjoy the sensations. These old women know how to suck out every single sperm-cell in your ball sack.

Expect to pay around 300 baht for 1 hour massage, and anything from 500 baht to 1000 baht for the blowjob, depending on how hot the girl is. 🙂


Online dating

One blowjob in Pattaya will set you back minimum 700 baht. A one month membership at Thai Cupid will set you back around the same amount (20 dollar). With that tool you have access to hundred of thousands of girls that are eager to met foreigners.

Thai men are already womanizers and will hit on Thai women in everyday situations, so you know that if a Thai girl is on a dating site, she’s there to meet foreigners.

Signing up for a dating site is really a no-brainer before you go to Thailand. Read more here.


So. This is my best tips for finding cheap sex in Pattaya for those who are on a budget. Go out and have some fun! 😀

Of course, the hottest girls are in the gogo-bars. But I think the prices are outrageous, and a lot of the hot girls in the gogo’s get so much attention that they have become spoiled shit kids. It’s not fun to be with them.

And in the end it’s going to cost you 3000+ baht when you have paid for barfine, the girls, your drinks and her lady drinks. For that price she should treat you like a fucking sultan, but she won’t because she’s a spoiled brat.

It’s much better to find a cute freelancer in the street, or at a nightclub, party and have fun with her all night, and bring her back to your hotel 4 in the morning for the finale. If you are on a tight time-schedule, just go to a blow-job bar and get your balls drained in 15 minutes.

Milking Thai Cupid for pussy

What’s going on guys? 😀

Another day in paradise. Today I will talk a little bit about online dating.

The last week I’ve been absolute savage on Thai Cupid. My one-year membership runs out in just a couple of days. I had to get some more contacts before I can’t talk with girls anymore. 🙁

As I’m writing this I have 19 new girls in my Line application and I’ve talked with 40-50 girls the last two weeks. 😀 😀

I’m planning to take a break from Thai Cupid when the membership runs out. There are several reasons for that: 

  1. I want to save the money
  2. I live in Thailand. I’m surrounded by Thai girls 24/7. Don’t really need it.
  3. I will focus on work for a period.
  4. I already have a ton of girls available down here, and I’m thinking about getting a girlfriend.

Just to make it clear, I’m not taking a break because I don’t think the dating sites aren’t good anymore. They absolutely are.

In fact. They are too good. I get in touch with so many girls there that I can’t get anything done. It slows down my productivity a lot. Lets say I sit on my computer doing some work, then I get a new mail that a girl have contacted me on Thai Cupid.

I get distracted, and I work much slower.

I’m not saying this to brag or anything. I’m just telling you about my reality down here.

In fact, that’s why I’m taking a break. I’m planning to do some weeks with really intense working. I’m not going to do anything else than to expand my online earnings. I will do a lot more translating (my main income), try to get more customers to translate for and I’ll expand this site.

Here are my goals for the next weeks: 

  1. Work more
  2. Less dating, keep the girls I already have for fast shags.
  3. Work out more


Need something new

When I’m ready to start dating online again I think I’ll switch dating platform.

I’ve been member on Thai Friendly before, and I’m thinking about switching back to that. I’ve been on Thai Cupid for a year now. I need a change (no hate on Thai Cupid).


Learn Thai

I’ve mentioned this a couple of times already on this webpage. Learning Thai will get you so much more attention from the girls. They will really admire you if you can pull of some Thai.

You will get so much more respect.

You don’t need to learn Thai fluent. Just the act of writing in your online profile that you are interested in learning Thai will improve your game drastically. Not a day goes by without some girl telling me she can teach me Thai.

If you are interested in learning Thai. I recommend that you check out the old Manee Mana books. They were used in school in Thailand in the 80’s and 90’s.

You can find them as PDF for free here.

They start of very simple, then it gets more and more advanced. You will need to know the Thai alphabet for this book in advance. Don’t be put off by that. It took me about 10 hours of drilling over 3-4 days to learn all the letters. 🙂

A hot girl from Chiang Mai learned me the Thai alphabet. I lay in her bed while she read up the letters from a whiteboard in her living-room. If I learned too slow she would spank me on my ass. Good times. 😀

6 good reasons to bang hookers

I just broke my two month celibacy on hookers down here in Thailand. I’ve not fucked a hooker since July. There are two reasons for this:

  1. I’ve been working like a slave on my computer. I almost haven’t been outside. 🙁
  2. I’m trying to save money. Fucking sluts is not cheap when you have an online income that would put you below the poverty line in most Western countries.

Anyways. This week I met up with a friend from Europe that is in Pattaya at the moment. We took a trip to Soi 6, and the rest is history as they say.

Here are some great reasons to bang hookers. 😀


1: Time 

Fucking sluts is a HUUUGE time saver. No need to listen to girls’ bullshit for hours before she allows you to rip her pussy apart.

Chasing girls are of course fun, but sometimes you just don’t have time for that activity, but you still need to relieve some pressure. That’s when hookers comes in handy. 😀

Just walk inside your favorite gogo-bar, pick the hottest girl from the shelf, do what you need, and pay her to leave!

You balls are empty, her wallet is full and everyone is happy. 😀


2: Hookers will cure your shyness

My number one dating tip for shy guys is: 

Go to Pattaya for a week and go nuts with the hookers around town. If you are shy around girls something tells me that you are intimidated by them. If you are intimidated by girls you have probably not spent much time around them, right?

Hookers can solve that for you. You don’t have to worry about rejection, so you can just focus on being comfortable around them.

When you start to be comfortable, you can slowly start to challenge your comfort-zone and approach ‘real’ girls.

In time you will learn to not give a fuck and become more confident, which will get you more women, which will make you even more confident.

In the end you’ll brush of a rejection like it’s a light summer breeze. You know you just have to approach a couple of more girls, and the deal is set.

I don’t give a shit anymore. My urge for pussy far outweighs my approach anxiety. If I see a hot girl that I like I will make sure she knows I’m interested.

Another fun-fact about this. Whenever I have fucked a girl, other girls seems to be much more interested in me. I think this is because I’m not needy at all when I talk with them. I probably send out a completely different vibe, unconsciously, when I just got laid. That girls pick up, also unconsciously.

This was just as true back home too. Whenever I had a girlfriend, or a fuckfriend available, it was much easier to get laid with new girls.


3: It’s fun!

I think dating girls are fun too, but sometimes you meet that insane bitch who makes you bend over in awe. But that is a story for another time.


Most girls are just a little bit crazy, and you get tired of all the mundane, but never ending bullshit. That’s a good time to take a break from dating, and jump on the monger train for some weeks with shallow, easy and quick sex.

Just to get your motivation back. 🙂

Luckily I’m in Asia, and the girls here usually shut up if they don’t have anything sensible or important to say. They are not in that constant “me me me me me” modus, yet.

Silence is gold.


4: Realize your wildest fantasies.

Threesomes, group-sex, rape-play, BDSM, spanking, caning, role-play, foot fetish, submission, anal-sex, costumes +++. The list goes on forever…

Sure, you can meet a cool and kinky girl. But the truth is that they are few and far between.

A lot of people have huge barriers when it comes to sex. It can be because of religion, a pride issue or just because they don’t like it.

So then we are back to my first point about time. How much time should you spend on finding a girl that want to try group sex, or let you dominate her? How much time do you have to look that in the first place? Probably not too much if you are an average slave feeding the system back home with a couple of weeks vacation each year.

Paying a professional is a great way to live out your wildest fantasies.


5: Men need sex, women don’t.

The majority of men need sex to be happy. The majority of women don’t need sex to be happy. That’s a huge problem. Don’t believe me?

Explain hookers….

If both sexes were equal crazy after sex there would be no such thing as female hookers. Everyone would just be fucking all day long. Nothing would ever be done.

Men have an unstoppable urge for sex. We can’t just turn a switch off mentally and stop thinking about it like women can.

A women can decide in the middle of a sex act that she don’t want sex anymore. You could show me a picture of your dead mother when we have sex, and I would say: “We have to talk about that.. LATER…”.


6: It will make you focus

Sometimes when I work, I will start to think about sex. It’s a fucking curse, and the remedy is the local blow-job bar.

Yeah, I have a lot of fuckfriends and girls I’m dating down here. But it’s rare that one of my ‘real’ girls can show up in 20 minutes to suck me off, just to kick them out again so I can continue to work.

They would never accept that treatment. I would have to have some bullshit conversation with them pre-sex, cuddle, watch a movie, make som food, or just something.

If I’m working on a big project, I don’t have time for that shit.


If there were are blow-job bar in every city, the world would be a much better place.

Here’s why you don’t do drugs in Thailand

An Australian DJ was recently sentenced to two life sentences in jail for possession of 61 ecstasy pills. He was busted in Pattaya back in 2014. One week ago he got his sentence.

You can read the full story here.

I’m not trying to make this webpage into a news webpage, but I have to tell people about this.

Doing drugs in Thailand is no joke. If you get caught with drugs down here you are risking harsh prison sentences.

Not only will you stay in prison for a very very long time. You will end up in some of the worst prisons in the world. The prisons down here is nothing like the ones back in Europe or the US.

Here you will share one cell with so many people that you can’t lay down properly. You don’t get a bed. You lie on the floor. The first three months you wear leg shackles.

If you have to go on the toilet in the night, you literally have to crawl over other people that are sleeping on the ‘comfortable’ concrete floor.

Forget about AC in the heat season when temperatures can reach 45 degrees celsius.

Diseases that haven’t been seen in Europe since the middle ages are rampant. You won’t get out of prison without some kind chronic disease.

This Australian guy is now going to sit in a shitty Thai prison for the rest of his life.

No fun, no flirting, only basic food and no pussy. Forever…

Just because he tried to make some profit from selling drugs. I’ve tried Ecstasy, and yes, its pretty damn good. But I wouldn’t risk my freedom for it. Pussy is still better, and you will never get in trouble for that.

Personally I think it’s stupid to punish people who haven’t done harm to other people. If you do drugs, you will only fuck up yourself if you abuse them. Why should people be punished for that? If anything, you need help, not punishment.

I know this guy was busted with a lot of pills, and he probably had the intent to sell. Life in jail is still harsh in my opinion.

It’s weird that a country who is so relaxed about traffic violations, that kills and injure much more people, are so harsh on drugs. Ecstasy is not even that bad, if you compare it to yaba, heroin, or even alcohol.

When that is said. This is not my country. When you immigrate to another country you have to respect their culture and laws. I’m not here to change anything. (Wish I could say the same about muslims coming to Europe, but then you are racist apparently.)

I have compassion for the Australian guy. I feel sorry for him, but at the same time, he was stupid. He played with fire, and he fucked up.


Go to Cambodia

If you want to do drugs, get your ass over to Cambodia. They are much more relaxed about it. I bought weed in Siem Reap in full daylight on the street, next to a bar. No one gave a shit.

In fact. Marihuana is decriminalized in Cambodia. So walking around with 10-15 gram of pot is totally fine. I could smell the scent of weed everywhere.

But doing drugs in Thailand. That is just plain idiocy. It’s like going to Saudi Arabia and yell Allah is gay. You’re asking for trouble.


Daytrip to Ayutthaya (with gallery)

Doing the day trip to Ayutthaya is an excellent get-away break from the madness of Bangkok. The skyscrapers, concrete and lack of “green stuff” will get to you if you stay in Bangkok for a longer period of time.

If I stay more than two weeks in Bangkok. I start to feel an urge to get the hell out of there.  I’ll get claustrophobic.


How to get there

The easiest way to get to Ayutthaya from Bangkok is to take the train. Not only is it easy, but with a ticket price of 20 baht it’s practically free!

It’s almost funny. The metro ticket from ‘Sukhumvit’ to ‘Hua Lamphong’. A 10 minute ride, is more expensive than the 2 hour train trip from Bangkok to Ayutthaya. Can someone please explain how that is possible?

To get to the train station in Bangkok you have to take the metro to the end station ‘Hua Lamphong’. From there the train station is just a short walk. Click here for google maps.


This is where you buy tickets
Ticket counter at Hua Lamphong train station
The train from Bangkok to Ayutthaya
The train
thai train third class
Don’t expect luxury

The only tourist trap you’ll encounter

And I fell for it, and so did everyone else!

Okay. When you arrive at the train station in Ayutthaya, there will be a shit ton of shops that rent out bikes and motorbikes. What these motherfuckers don’t tell you however, is that there is a river between the shops and the temples.

The only way to get over this river, is to bike down 300 m, bike over an extremely congested brigde with no sidewalk, and bike 300 m from the direction you came from at the other side of the river.

This might not sound soooo bad, but trust me. That brigde was dangerous to bike across. We all know how Thai people drive. I will make a map for you, so you understand what I’m talking about.

Scam in Ayutthaya
Avoid this route

Here is what you WANT to do, that I learned a little bit too late. When you get out of the train station. Just walk straight ahead across all the shops that rent out bikes and motorbikes.

When you get to the river, there will be a little boat that takes you across for 10 baht. When you get to the other site of the river, there will be just as many bikes and motorbikes shops to rent from.

You just saved yourself from a 20 minute detour in 35 degrees. Thank me later!

The professional way


The Temples

Okay. So you got yourself a bicycle or motorbike, and hopefully a map. There are about 15 temples all around town that you can check out. It cost 50 baht per temple, and you buy the ticket at each temple you go to.

It’s a pretty big area, so prepare to use 6-7 hours if you want to see everything. My only regret with this trip was that I rented a bicycle instead of a motorbike. It was 37 degrees the day I was here, and I almost passed out several times from overheating. Fuck…

Luckily, there are several restaurants in the area that sell dirt cheap Thai food and cold drink if you need to refill.

Snake at Ayutthaya between rocksCaution  If you are going to climb some of the ruins, be careful. There are snakes and spiders everywhere inside between the rocks.

Some of them are deadly if you don’t get to a hospital fast enough (and you wont).



Some pictures from my last trip to Ayutthaya.

Ayutthaya temple

Ayutthaya train trip girl sleeping

Ayutthaya train sign

Ayutthaya munks

Ayutthaya temple

Ayutthaya dude on bike

Ayutthaya reptile

Ayutthaya temple buddha

Ayutthaya temple face


My biggest fear about living in Thailand

What’s going on guys? 🙂

Today I will tell you about my biggest fear about living in Thailand. Or any other place that is hot and tropical. 🙁

I almost only talk positive things about living in Thailand. And yes, I love this life and I would not change it for anything.

At the same time I don’t want to give you the impression that it’s only good times and hakuna matata. This place has its negative aspects too, and here is one of them.

Last night I was at a local clinic at Sukhumvit Soi 11. I ripped up my skin on my leg some days ago and it got infected. I had no fever but if I didn’t do anything about it would probably only get worse.

Another farang was at the clinic too. This guy did not look well at all! He was blue in his face, had purple lips, was shivering and occasionally he would run to the toilet to puke.

I asked him what was going on, and I told him I could go to 7/11 to buy him some cold water or fruit juice.

He said he didn’t know what was going on, but that he had been eating som street food at Khao San Rd the night before, and after that, had only gotten worse through the night. The guy said he had no diarrhea or anything. He just felt awful.



Once in a while I will meet people down here that just look terrible. They experience extreme fatigue, dizziness, shivering, lack of energy and stomach pain.

Everyone I have talked will say they have no idea why they got sick, but that they suspect it was something they ate.

Last year when I was at Koh Yao Noi, I met an English guy that had been training Muay Thai for months at the island. I met him on the boat back to Phuket, and he told me that he was about to go home to England again.

He told me that he had some serious trouble with his stomach for weeks after he ate some sea food at the island.

The doctors didn’t find anything wrong with him, but he only felt worse for everyday that passed. I could see that he was really worried about his situation, and that he just wanted to get back to England as fast as possible.

I got his contact information, and 4 weeks later I asked him how he was feeling. The doctors back in England didn’t have any answers either. And he still had trouble with his stomach. He had also lost a lot of weight. Wtf..?

Some months ago when I was going back from Siem Reap, I met another dude with the exactly same symptoms as the guy at the clinic at Sukhumvit Rd.

He was shivering, feeling cold, his face had turned blue and he just felt fucking awful. He wanted to get back to Bangkok as fast as possible to get some decent health care, as the health care in Cambodia his nothing to brag about.

I have a friend back in home that was in Thailand many years ago. He had been eating food at a local Thai buffet restaurant in Chiang Mai. 5 hours later he was stuck on the toilet shitting liquid brown water mixed with blood. He was hospitalized for almost a week, with high fever, dizziness and fatigue.

To this day his still not 100% well. He still have occasionally severe stomach pain after he eats big meals. He will start to shake for a good 20 minutes, before it settles again. The doctors have zero answers.


What can you do about it?

This stuff scares the crap out of me. Because there is nothing you can do about it to avoid it. Be unlucky one time, and it could change your life forever.

Of course, you could buy all your food at the supermarkets around Bangkok, and cook your own food in your apartment to make sure that all parasites are killed, but that is not really feasible for most people. Not for me either.

I go out in rural areas all the time down here, and I need food. I have to trust my health on the Thai person that cook my meal.

Is the meat processed properly? How long has it been out in the heat? Is the salad washed for bacteria and bugs? What kind of water did they use to wash the salad? Did you clean your hands after you wiped your ass? Etc…

I’ve found bugs in my salad several times down here. Ants, flies, even a fucking wasp. Eating bugs are not that big of a deal healthwise, but it’s a good sign that they didn’t wash the salad with water. What other parasites are still inside the salad??

As soon as you get out of the bigger cities there are no big fancy shopping malls with strict hygiene routines and focus on service. It’s mostly family driven businesses where anything goes. These people would employ their daughter even if she was mentally retarded, and she would cook your food…

By the way. I’m not taking about cute little bacteria that will give a night with diarrhea. I’m talking about serious parasites that will push your immune system to the limit.

Another aspect of this is that I’m not native to this part of the world. There are bacteria and parasites out here that my immune system has never encountered before. Bacteria that would make me really sick, but that a Thai person wouldn’t even have a reaction on.

I don’t know what do make out of this post. This just scares the shit out me (sometimes literally hihi).

Whenever I eat at a local family driven restaurant I will inspect the food as my life depends on it. Call me paranoid, but I don’t want to fuck up my health because I ate a lump of parasite infested meat.


How to avoid this simple debit-card scam in Thailand

Using debit-cards to pay for services in Thailand is becoming more and more common. 5 years ago it would be hard to find a restaurant with a bankterminal to pay for your food.

Not anymore.

Want to meet Thai girls for free? Check out this post.

Hotels, restaurants, bars and many other establishments have started to have bankterminals more and more the last years. You don’t need to walk around with a big stack of cash to get by anymore.

For example. I never pay my hotels in cash anymore. If the hotel is not pre-paid, I will pay it with my debit-card.

I’ve even seen a street food restaurant with a bankterminals in Bangkok now.

The times are changing I guess, and Thailand is becoming more and more like Japan and South-Korea than its neighboring countries. (Bangkok at least)


So, what scam am I talking about? 

Sometimes you have to give away your debit-card to a hotel employee or a waiter. She will then bring your card behind the desk to the bankterminal to withdraw money from it.

It’s easy for an dishonest employee to take a picture of your card with his / her phone. She can then use it later to buy stuff online.

All you need to buy stuff online is three different numbers from your card:

  1. The card-number
  2. The expire date
  3. The three digit CVC-code.

No need for pin-code.


This is how I deal with it

I have two cards that go to the same bank account.

The first card is normal, the second card I have censored the CVC-code and the expiry date.

Having only the card-number is useless. You can not buy anything with the card with only that number, but you can still use the magnet strip / chip to buy stuff in shops.

This method is genius because I don’t have to go around worry about where I have my debit-card. I can just ‘throw it around’ without any concern to different employees and waiters.

Getting a duplicate card is easy and mostly free in all banks. Just call them up and tell them that you want a second card to your bank account.

Tinder in Bangkok = Success

What’s up? 😀

Just a quick tip if you want to find hot girls in Bangkok fast.

I’ve had great success with Tinder lately. It’s seems like more and more Thai girls get this app on their phone. Two years ago I would barely find any Thai girl on Tinder in Bangkok. The balance was maybe 95% tourists and 5% Thais.

Today it’s much higher concentration of Thais and you have to shuffle through a lot less obese Western women. 😀 Yeah, the trolls pop up occasionally, but just swipe left and you’re good to go. 🙂

Before you consider Tinder..

For those guys who simply want to get laid in Bangkok, as quickly and easily as possible, I suggest looking at www.smooci.com.

Smooci is Bangkok’s newest and best Escort platform and search engine. It lets you live search all the major Escort agencies and independent girls, and gives you result with customer ratings on the girls, so you can sort the good, the bad, and the ugly pretty easily.

It’s creating a real competitive market and dropping the short time prices to as low as I’ve seen. Not only that, but once you’ve made your booking you also get sent a live GPS link so you can track your girl all the way to your door.

Tinder game for Bangkok

I’ve had good experience keeping it short on Tinder. Sometimes I won’t even bother to do any small talk when I’ve got a match. What’s the point? There are so many girls on Tinder in Bangkok it’s just a matter of time before some girls will think; “Wow, I have to meet this guy”. After that she will say yes to everything you ask for regarding contact information. Then you can take it further on a video chat or a quick meet up.

As always. Tinder is all about creating a good first impression and value. Make sure you got your best pictures possible. Polish that profile to perfection. It’s better to have 5 pictures that are AMAZING, rather than 10 pictures that are good.

What is Tinder? 

For you guys that have been living under a rock the last 5 years. Tinder is a dating app for mobile phones. You can download it in Play Store for Android and Apple store for Iphone. Tinder is free to use.

When you have signed up a lot of girl’s will start to pop up. You swipe left if you don’t like them and you swipe right if you like them.

To talk to a girl she has to swipe right for you too. Then it’s a match and you can start talking.

The app is using the GPS on your phone, so you will only get up girls that are in your area.

Usually I quickly ask the girl for either Facebook or Skype. That way I can have a video call with her to get a feel for her. If she decent I will ask for a meeting, if she’s weird I will stop talking with her.

What is my problem with Tinder? 

Lets be honest it sucks big time writing on those small phones. I can’t fucking stand it. I have big hands so for me its even worse.  It’s clumsy and exhausting in the long.

Additionally. It seems like its only working for Bangkok right now if you want to meet Thai girls. If you go to Chiang Mai, Phuket or any other tourist destination in Thailand we are back to the first problem I mentioned, too much obese Western women with ugly tattoos.

A third thing is that it only working for the place you’re at. If you’re planning a trip to another city and want to chat up some girls before you go there. You can’t really use Tinder unless you pay the premium so you can just as well buy the membership at Thai Cupid then.

Check my post about on how to set up an online dating profile to swim in pussy here. It’s for Thai Cupid, but same rules apply for Tinder. Maybe even more as everything revolves around the first impression.

Do you really save money on hookers?

This is something I hear in the expat community around Thailand all the time. “You should not date those Thai girls, much better to just find a hooker, it will save you money!”

I’ve been thinking about that, and is it really true?

I don’t think so, and to put it frankly; I think it’s just something some guys spew out to justify banging hookers so they can feel better about themselves.

Some even say it with so much confidence that I actually think they believe their own nonsense.

Don’t get me wrong, and I don’t try to sound like a feminist or anything. I’m totally guilty myself, but at least be honest about it. You don’t fuck hookers because you save money. You fuck them because it’s easy. Because you have to put in zero effort. You will never be rejected and they will provide you with constant confirmation that you are ‘desired’.

These girls know exactly what you want, and it’s so fucking addictive. I still remember my first time in Pattaya. Coming from a boring town in Scandinavia with constant rain and miserable people. I couldn’t fucking comprehend what was going on. It was like releasing a starving dog in a slaughterhouse. I went completely nuts and spent over 5000$ in two weeks.

Life becomes so damn easy and comfortable. In fact you don’t have to do anything to get the best thing in the world; sex. You just throw money on the ‘problem’ and they will do whatever you want.

But you have to wake up from the delusional thinking. Fucking hookers will not save you money, and no matter how much you believe that, it’s pure nonsense.


It’s plenty of free girls in Thailand

In reality there are plenty of girls that will date you for free. Not a dime spent! They don’t want anything from you except your attention and love. Some are looking for lasting relationships, some are just looking for fun. And they’re not hard to find if you just stick you nose out of the bar for a day.

They will fuck you every night but demand nothing in return. They will give you a good time, give you company, crack jokes with you, have interesting conversations with you. Whatever you want.

And I’m just a regular Joe, it’s nothing special about me that makes me more attractive than all the other Joe’s. I work out, I take care of my appearance as much as possible, I brush my teeth and take a shower every day. But that’s pretty much it.

Of course, there are girls out there who are not hookers, but still try to get a financial gain from you. But these girls are quite easy to filter out if you don’t think with your dick but use your brain instead.

Why do I say all this? I say this because I have dated a bunch of these girls. A lot of guys are missing out on meaningful and fun relationships because they have been stuck in a bar for too long. Their perspective on girls have been twisted into something that is simply not true.

Maybe they have been betrayed by some girl earlier? Maybe a girl went behind their back and ran away with some business that they put in the girl’s name? I don’t know what turned them into that, but it’s not real, and don’t listen to them.

What are your opinion on this? I’m really curios what you have to say if you are one of the guys that claim that you save money on hookers. Comment section is down below.

Solo vs buddy vs group travel in Thailand

What’s going on guys? 😀

Some guy asked me if he should come to Thailand with his buddy or if he should travel alone. Great question in fact. I have done all three of them in Thailand so I can tell a little bit about my experiences.

Remember that this post is for Thailand. I have a very different opinion about for example Europe. It’s much harder to get to know people in Europe. People are not nearly as guest friendly or open there. If I were to travel around in Europe I would probably bring a friend for company.

In this post I will talk about:

  1. Solo travel
  2. Cruisin’ around with a buddy (2 people)
  3. Group travel (anything from 3 – 15 persons)
  4. The biggest mistake a man can do in Thailand


Personally I prefer to travel solo in Thailand. I’m kind of a loner. Don’t get me wrong. I love to meet new people, I just don’t like to stay around the same people for too long.

I went solo in Thailand on my third trip. It was kind of scary in the beginning but the fear vanished as soon as I got inside that airplane. I knew that in 15 hours I would be greeted by some hot chicks at the airport, and I would be on my way to the hotel in a taxi! No worries!


Solo travel


  • You have epic flexibility
  • Can travel from A to B fast, as you don’t have to wait for your buddy / group
  • You can do what the hell you want when you want
  • You can change or modify your plans whenever you want
  • The world is yours


  • Can be lonely, but to be honest, that is not an issue in Thailand. 🙂
  • Sucks to become sick
  • You need to protect yourself from being too drunk and maybe mugged
  • Language barriers can be extra challenging


I love to travel around in Thailand alone. Being lonely here is really not an issue. You will always meet some girl who are up for some fun, or a good girl ready to date you, and if everything fails one night you have the hookers and massage girls to play with.

If you need a break from Thai people there are always some tourists around that are up for some fun that you can crack some jokes with at a bar.

If you want to travel alone you can’t be afraid to approach people. You need to get out there, if not you will just be stuck in your hotel room alone.

Getting sick

My biggest fear when traveling alone is getting so sick that I can’t take care of myself. That almost happened once too. I got a really bad diarrhea in some town outside Sukhothai. This shit was so painful that I was certain I would pass out at any moment. I was extremely dizzy, vomited all over the place and it felt like I was shitting barbed wire.

What would happen if I passed out? It was in a toilet without AC, and it was probably 35 degrees there. I was dehydrated too as I had been shitting liquid brown water for an hour while sweating like a dying pig. I had no water available.

Luckily I got help from some local people and they drove me to the nearest hospital in a pick-up truck. I was literally shaking in pain. I have no idea why it was so painful. The doctors didn’t find anything.


Buddy travel


  • You have someone to share your memories with
  • You can protect each other
  • Gives you some social value when you meet new people, especially tourists
  • Hotel prices just became 50% cheaper if you share room. HUGE money saver


  • You can’t just ditch your friend if you meet a cute girl
  • Arguing about what you should do one night. Will most likely happen at some point


Traveling with a buddy can be an awesome and life changing experience that could make you best friends for life. Sharing experiences is the best way to make good and lasting friendships.

When that is said. Choose your buddy wisely. If you travel with the wrong dude it could just as well turn into a nightmare.

If you travel with a buddy you should make it completely clear what you can and can’t do. What happens if you meet a cute girl that you want to spend some days with? Is it okay for your friend to stay alone for a couple of days? Even if he didn’t find any girl?

Should you share hotel room or not? What happens if your friend finds a hooker that he want to bring back to the room you share together?

Trust me. I’ve seen guys out there that argue about stuff like this. Shit like this has to be cleared out pre-travel.

Do your friend want to do the same things as you at all? If he want to go around exploring temples, but you want to go crazy in the bars. You have a conflict of interest right there and that could make your vacation a nightmare.

I traveled with the wrong friend once

I went to Amsterdam once with a friend. We traveled with car and it took about 2 days to drive. I knew him pretty well, but I’d never been alone with him for several days non-stop. I knew he was kind of an aggressive guy, but I gave it a shot, and hoped that it would not be a problem.

Turned out that he had rage tantrums several times a day for even the smallest issue. He could go on for hours. He unleashed everything on me, even tho I had nothing to do with it.

The second day when we were driving through Denmark we drove 20 km in the wrong direction. When I pointed out later that night that we had been driving 20 km in the wrong direction he bursted out in anger: “Yes, okay. Shut up. You don’t have to rub it in”. Yo dude, I’m just saying. It was hilarious. I’m not hating or blaming anyone here.. Shit happens you know..

After three days with him I didn’t take it anymore and I jumped on an airplane back home.


Group travel


  • Easier to break out of the group for some days if you want to be alone
  • Get’s even cheaper with accommodation and transport. When you go on side trips you can rent a minibus for yourself, and pay for it like it’s a normal scheduled bus.


  • It takes forever to get anything done. Especially when moving from A to B. Everyone have to get ready, double-check that nothing is left behind, and right before you are about to leave, some asshat has to take a piss.


My first two trips to Thailand was in group travel. I traveled with my father, brother and a bunch of friends of the family. I think we were 15 persons at most.

It was fun, but one time was enough for me. I takes forever to get anywhere, and everything goes so fucking slow. Just visiting a temple can take an extra hour compared to if you traveled alone.

Another negative aspect of traveling in a big group is that planning is a must. You can’t just be 15 persons, pop-up in a city and hope that a hotel have room for 15 persons. Everything needs to be booked pre-trip.

On my second trip to Thailand, also in a group like the first trip. I separated from the group for a week and went to Chiang Mai alone. That’s when I realized that from now on I will travel alone in Thailand. It was a HUGE freedom.


Mix it up!

This is probably the best way of travel. Come down here with a good friend, but don’t be together 24/7. Take some side trips for yourself, or meet a cute Thai girl for some days. Meet up with your friend again, take a couple of beers and tell each other what you have been doing.

Same if you come to Thailand in a bigger group. Don’t be in the group 24/7. Do stuff alone too. When you are ready to party with your group, met up again and go crazy.

Meet new people, hang out with them for some days. If you meet someone who are going the same direction as you. Ask to share a minivan with them. Take people’s contact information if you are going to the same city. Meet up again, tell each other what you did. Give your best advice’s, and ask for their best tips.

I guess it’s all about balance.


The biggest mistake a man can do in Thailand

That is. Travel with your girlfriend from back home. This topic probably deserves its own post, but fuck it. I will write about it here.

Western men with western girlfriend in Thailand
Western men with Western girlfriends in Thailand

I see it all the time. Dudes walking around with their semi-obese pale Western women, while they discreetly look at the local buffet with a desperate look in their eyes. Like a beaten-up submissive dog stuck inside a metal cage.

Not only that. They see all the Western men down here that walks around with beautiful and feminine Asian women in cute dresses.

And their girlfriend? She walks around in dirty elephant trousers with a white tank-top full of food remnants while she chugs down another beer.

It’s heartbreaking to witness. Because a lot of these guys are good looking guys and Thai girls would love to date them if they came alone. Thai girls that are a million times better than the average Western girlfriend.

They had no clue what would wait them down here, and now they are stuck with their fat girlfriend that can’t put on a fucking smile, even on vacation!

They have my deepest sympathy.


BIG explosion in my apartment block WTF MUST READ

What’s going on guys? 😀 

Three days ago I was chilling on my bed with my laptop after a long hot day out in Bangkok.

Suddenly I see a big flash followed by a big fucking explosion. I could hear the windows in the entire block was shaking. WTF…. Was this another terror attack in Bangkok???  After all I live close to Sukhumvit Rd, and if someone wants to do some fuckery, it would probably be right here.. 🙁

Fast-forward until the next morning. The security guy in my block told that a bird, rat or squirrel had gotten inside the current distributor to the entire apartment block, making a BIG short-circuit that fried everything…

So yeah, that’s why I haven’t made any new posts the last days. I didn’t get my power back before today.

It took them THREE days to fix this shit, and I guess this is why Thailand is still a developing country. If this shit happened back home it would be in the news…

It’s been raining heavy in Bangkok the last days, and they told me they could not put the new machine into place before the rain stopped.

No power, no internet, no AC for THREE fucking days..

I’ve spent my days with my romantic shower date girl. I can’t sleep without a fucking AC. It’s too hot, even for a guy that have been here for a year now. Fuck that.. I don’t want to wake up the next day in big pond of sweat…

So, I moved temporarily to my romantic shower date girl. She was working, but when she came home we had a lot of sex, and we ate a lot of good food. Life is still good I guess. 😀


Only in Thailand… 

Man, Thailand is such an interesting place to be. On one side you have all these gigantic skyscrapers that look like something out of the future, with 5 stars hotels and shopping malls you could just dream of back home. Then, on the other hand, if you just walk to the next land plot. There could be some old wooden sheds that don’t even have fucking glas in the windows…

Seems to be no overall city planning in Bangkok. You can see it all over town.

Plot 1: Big skyscraper with light-art on the top.
Next door: Grasslands with reptiles, rats and trash.
Next door again: A bar area with a dentists on the upper floor.

That’s Bangkok. No planning. Seems like private companies just buy a plot of land, and build what the hell they want on it. With no interest of what’s around..

Anyways, back to the power situation back at my place. I just got back to my apartment, and I have my power back now. 😀 That’s good.

It’s crazy that a little bird or rat like that can take out the power grid for an entire building, for three fucking days. But then again, this is Thailand. If you’ve seen some of the wiring here maybe it’s not that strange after all.

Just look at the pictures under. These are pictures I have taken here and there over the last year. No wonder why they have short-circuits from time to time.. :p


2013-07-19 15.24.35







The heroes at work!
The heroes at work! These guys got balls!

Anyways guys. I will start to post a new post again now every day. Stay tuned for girls I banged in August. I’ve been on FIRE this month, just like the power distributer in my block. 😀

Finding a stunner in Bangkok

What’s going on guys? 😀

I see that some people who end up at my site, use search terms such as “Bangkok stunner”, “how to find a stunner in Bangkok”, “find perfect women in Bangkok” etc…

That is not a bad topic at all, and I will try to give you some tips on how you can end up in bed with them. 🙂

There are two different ways to find a stunner in Bangkok. You can pay for it or you can work for it.


Pay for it

If you are in Bangkok on a limited time and don’t have time to chase girls, this is probably the best way to go for it. Success rate is 100%.

The hottest girls in Bangkok are found in the go-go bars and in the soapy massage parlous in my opinion. There are also some escort services that have really hot women.

Bangkok Escorts
My princess Bangkok

Pure Bangkok Escorts

I’ve tried all of those, and they’re all legit that really put an effort in service. They’re also very discreet. You call them up or send them an email, and the women will meet you at your hotel room.

If you want to check out the go-go bars I have already written about what I think are the best go-go bars in Bangkok. You can find that post here.


Work for it

If you’re not into the professionals and you want to hunt girls. You have a lot of options in Bangkok.

I’ve already written a location report for Bangkok. In that post you will find a lot of tips on where you can approach girls in Bangkok. Check it out here.


Online dating

This is probably the best way to do it. Especially if you are coming to Bangkok on a limited time. You can start to talk up girls before you even come here. If you have a boring job you can spend some of your time at work to chat up girls.

Start 1-2 months before you arrive Bangkok, and you’ve created your own little harem of girls. Trust me.

I’ve already written a lot about online dating on this site. Here I explain why online dating works so well in Thailand and here I explain how you can make a profile that will make you swim in pussy offers.

You should also check out this post on how you can improve your game with Thai girls for real life approaching and dates from online sites.

Good luck, and have fun! 😀


Online Dating Profile for Thailand – How to drown in pussy

What’s going on guys? 😀 

Today I will tell you how you can design your online dating profile so you’ll drown in pussy down here in Thailand. I’m not exaggerating this. If you follow this guide you will get so many requests on Thai Cupid and Thai Friendly that you can’t answer them all.

How can I be so sure..? Because I have it like that right now, and I don’t look like Brad Pitt. It’s all about how you portray yourself. 🙂

I was the old school type for a long time. I never bothered with dating sites back home.

The reason was that I never had much success with them. The amount of girls I banged that I met online back home, can be counted with one hand I think.

It was too much hassle, talking and fishing. It was not worth the time I had to spend. Yeah, I love pussy, but even pussy have its limits of what I’m willing to do… :p

The first three times I came to Thailand I refused to become member on any dating site. This was a big fucking mistake. The reason I refused was because I took with me the experiences I had from dating sites back home. I thought it would be just like home with eternal conversations and persuasion. You can read more here why I think dating sites work so well in Thailand.

I was so wrong.

As I’m writing this it’s around 9 pm here in Bangkok. I checked my Thai Cupid this morning when I woke up, and I checked it again now. I have 10 new messages in my account since this morning. None of them are with girls I have talked with earlier, because right now I don’t have ongoing conversations at Thai Cupid. All my pussy seats are taken at the moment.

I’m not saying this to brag, it’s just that if you have the same attitude I had three years ago, you are missing out on a lot of pussy. I don’t even have to approach girls on Thai Cupid. They approach me, and I talk with the ones I think are hot.

Thai Cupid messeges


Before you can start to make your profile. You need to sign up for either Thai Cupid or Thai Friendly. There are other dating sites out there for Thailand, but these two have an insane amount of members.

You can browse girls for years without running out. Thai Cupid have over 1 million members.

You can sign up for Thai Cupid here, and you can sign up for Thai Friendly here. Yes, those links are affiliate links, and I get a small cut from it if you buy a membership.


How to become a pussy magnet at online dating sites

Your profile text

This should be short and simple. Don’t write everything you did from you learned to walk until the present. Tell you name, what hobbies you have and why you are coming to Thailand. Don’t reveal too much about yourself, you want to be a little mystical. If the girl wants to know more about you, she’ll have to contact you.

Another great thing you should write in your profile text is that you love learning languages, and that you are interested in meeting someone who can teach you some basic Thai. I’ve gotten so much response on that it’s ridiculous. Let me give you some quotes:

สวัสดีค่ะ Sa was dee ka
Hello, How do you do.? ^^
I am Meena. I can teach you about Thai language.

Hope to hearing from you soon”

“Hello my name is apple. Welcome to Thailand.

And willing to be your friend. Really want to teach you Thai too.”

“Hi I’m read your bio and I’m so interesting about you.

I want to be your friend.
I can teach youThai lagueges and cultural.if you want to travel next time in Thailand I can guide you.
And maybe you can teach me about you country too.”


It’s all about the pictures

A picture tells more than a thousand words they say. That is equally true for pictures you use in a dating profile. You can write an awesome text about yourself, but if you show that same awesomeness in photos you instantly become much more real and trustworthy.

Here are some ideas for awesome pictures you should put on your profile. Don’t need all of them, but a few of them will attract a lot of girls.


The great adventure photo – If you have done some traveling, show your most awesome travel photo. You riding a camel in Egypt, you in an awesome street in some typical European city, maybe you went to the salt deserts in Bolivia?

This will show the girls that you like to travel, and that you are a person that likes to go on an adventure.

The exotic picture – Here you have to think culture. A beach in Thailand is exotic for you, but for a Thai girl its home. Maybe you have a picture of yourself on a mountain covered in white snow? Maybe you went to a desert in Egypt? That is exotic for a Thai girl.

This will make the girl envy you.

The social picture – This one is important, and should never be left out. It can really be anything, but should be a picture with your friends and/or family where you have a great time.

This shows the girl that you are not a freak or a weirdo. You have friends, you have family. You are not a loner that no one wants to be around.

The dangerous picture – All women love men that can handle a little danger. Did you go skydiving, maybe a bungee jump? What about scuba diving next to a shark? Put it out!

This shows the girls that you are not a pussy.

The musical picture – Do you play an instrument? Maybe you did some live shows once too? You should probably put it out.

All girls love men that can play an instrument.

The handsome picture – Do you have good looks? Make sure to have a picture where you are suited up looking your best. This is also a good profile picture to get the click into your profile to show off your other pictures.

Well. This shows the girl nothing, but everyone like pretty humans. 🙂

The manly picture – This should be a picture of you doing something manly or skillful. Like riding a horse, fighting a bull or

Already been there picture – Already been in Thailand? This picture can be combined with any of the categories over. Like you playing guitar in a bar with a monkey on the shoulder, while some Thai chicks watch you with your mother in the background. Just joking.. But if you have been in Thailand, some pictures from earlier trips don’t hurt.

Thai girls love their country. They will like you just for the fact that you have been in Thailand already.

Avoid money pictures – Pictures where you show of a nice car, or maybe your bling, or maybe a nice apartment. Or just any pictures that makes it clear that you are full of cash. Don’t do it. You will only attract gold diggers and bad people.

You want to portray that you are a fun and interesting person. Not a rich guy. You will just attract bad people that way.


Your profile picture

Your profile picture can be in any category I have already talked about, but it should be a picture that catches the eye. This will give you more clicks to your profile, and the girl will see the rest of your awesome pictures and that you are interested in learning Thai. You’ve already won her.

It’s also smart to mix up your profile picture once in a while. That way you can get girl’s that didn’t like your first round. They see your profile again, but this time with a new picture, so you are a new person for them now. Maybe they’ll like you this time. 🙂


Can you handle all the pussy? 

If you follow these steps you will never have to approach a girl on these dating sides. You just wait until they approach you, then you sort out the trolls. I get anything from 5 to 20 messages every day, and I talk with the girls I think are the hottest.

Right now my profile picture is a ‘professional’ picture that I took of myself with my DSLR camera with a white background. It’s in black and white, and it’s super sharp. I have a white shirt on that is slightly open showing of some of my chest hair. 😛

In my album I have a picture of me in the mountain skiing back home. This is a perfect picture with white mountains and blue sky. You can see all of me, while I hold my ski poles up in the air. Exotic for Thai girls!

I also have a picture of me diving in Egypt and two pictures of me out in the desert in Egypt. My family picture is just a picture from some Christmas celebration a couple of years ago.

Recently I added two more pictures from Cambodia. In one pictures I stand on my hands with Angkor Wat in the background, and in the second I’m with a Thai girl and some people that we met on the road.


More tips

Don’t spend an eternity talking with the girls on the dating site. You want to move her outside as quick as possible. You want to have a video conversation with her. That way you can sort out if there is something weird about her. Maybe she has a super weird voice, or maybe you just don’t like her vibe.

How people behave behind a keyboard, and how they behave in a video call can be two different worlds. You can get a really good impression of a girl when you are texting with her, but as soon as you talk with her on video, you end up not liking her at all. Happened with me a million times. Can be anything from how she moves, how she talks, how she behaves. You can’t see that in a text message.

If a girl don’t show her entire body in one of the pictures, it’s usually because she’s fat. Be careful!

Also. Be skeptical about girls that demands stuff. This can be anything from money, her asking you to buy her stuff etc. I would even be careful with girls that demand that you go to a special restaurant or bar too.

These girls are often gold diggers, and they are looking for beta males they can push around and exploit for financial gain. These girls will not give you a good time unless you do as they say. They will always ask for something, beg, demand, test your limits etc. If you don’t do as they wish they will act up and just make drama. Not fun.

There are plenty of good girls and cool girls out there that will fuck you even on the first date, if you know what you are doing. No need for semi-pro gold diggers to get laid.


Okay people. Go out and test this, go nuts! Tell me how it went. You should own Thai Cupid with all this information.


How to pick up any Thai girl in 5 steps

Okay. That title was pure click-bait. I admit it. There is no way you can get every Thai girl out there.

Moving on…

Today I will tell you how to get almost any Thai girl that you desire in 5 easy steps. Notice the word almost.

I just banged pussy nr. 50 pussy nr 90 (update for June 2017) since I moved to Thailand in September 2015.

That’s a lot of women. A reality of living in the greatest pussy paradise on earth, Bangkok.

I’ve been reading a lot lately on other webpages and forums about Thai girls and how to have the best possible game on them. In this post I will try to wrap it up nicely while I put in my own thoughts too.

Here are my top 5 tips on how to get almost any Thai girl that you desire. Some of the steps will require more work than others, but if you want to be a player like me that can seduce a lot of girls and drill a ton of pussy, without turning to hookers, it’s totally worth the time and effort.


Step 1: Dress sharp, get a haircut and take a damn shower. 

I feel this one should be unnecessary to mention, but I see so many guys out there that dress like bums and smells like sewage. Just because you are in a developing country doesn’t mean that no one gives a fuck what you look like.

In fact. In Thailand your appearance is very important, maybe even more important than in the Western world as Thailand is a class society. How you dress can influence how much pussy you get greatly.

Making a good first impression is just as important in Thailand as anywhere else.

Go inside any shopping mall in Bangkok and see how people dress. Everyone dress casual and/or conservative. Girls go in cute dresses that don’t reveal too much while the men goes in jeans and shirts.

To make it even clearer:

What clothes should you not wear? 

  1. Tanktops. singlets, t-shirts, fotball t-shirts, Singha t-shirts, ‘I Love Bangkok’ t-shirts etc..
  2. Shorts in general, swimming-shorts, sweatpants, elephant pants etc…
  3. Clothes that are worn out, dirty or that have spots.
  4. Provocative clothes. Like “Good boys go to heaven, bad boys go to Pattaya”.

What clothes should you wear?

  1. Polo shirts, shirts, sweaters etc…
  2. Jeans or casual shorts…
  3. Anything that look like you know what you’re doing!

Optimally, you want to dress as casual / normal as possible, maybe even slightly formal. Yes, I know Thailand is a hot place. But what’s the most important for, feel cool all the times, or get all the pussy that you dream of? Priorities, priorities my friends.

If you dress like a typical tourist who walk around in a Singha singlet and an elephant trouser. Thai girls will look at you as just that, a typical tourist. They will not be interested and they will treat you like a typical tourist.

If you dress casual however, girls will think: “Oohh, why does he dress like that here? He looks important. Maybe he lives here? I want to know him!”.

You can buy shirts all over Thailand that are custom-made for a fraction of the price as home. I usually pay 1000 – 1500 baht per shirt if I buy 4-5 of them. This is a great investment because they are of high quality, they last long and they fit you perfectly.

Always try to buy colors that you can mix together. If you have 5 shirts, 3 shorts and 2 jeans you can then mix all of them together and have a unique outfit for many weeks.

You should also always make sure that you have a fresh haircut, and that you smell fresh. I’ve met some guys down here that smell absolute horrible. You want to stand out from the crowd, but not in that way… 😛

You can read more here where I buy my clothes in Bangkok

Always look your best. 


Step 2: Exercise

Exercising helps on everything in life. Not only will your posture and body look better. You will also feel better. Shit like that get noticed by girls. If you are feeling good, they are feeling good. Win win.

Not to forget all the health benefits exercising has, but that is a topic for another time.

If you approach a girl while feeling good and high on life. The girl will pick up that vibe immediately and she will want to be a part of it.

Just think about it. Of all the people you know. Who do you want to hang out with? The friend who is always stressed out and in a bad mood, or the people who are happy and easy going? A good vibe is contagious and everyone wants to be around people like that.

My routine is jogging Monday, Wednesday and Friday, while doing push-ups and sit-ups the day I don’t go for a run. I also like to swim in the ocean whenever I get that opportunity.

I have also started to do yoga. This is extremely relaxing and refreshing, and if done right, can make you feel awesome for the rest of the day. Girls pick up this vibe, trust me.

Last time I was in the flotation tank here in Bangkok, I met a girl right after ny session. The first thing she told me was: “Oohh. You look so alive. What’s your secret?”.


Step 3: Be clear in your intent

In the Western world, if you tell a girl that you like her. She will freeze up and be all awkward. You just got yourself a label as being clingy and needy. As a matter of fact, if you like a girl in the Western world you have to pretend that you don’t like her while you try to deceive her back to your apartment.

In Thailand it works exactly the opposite way. If you want to go out with a girl, you tell her. If you like a girl, you tell her. If you want her to join you back to the hotel, tell her you like her and that you don’t want her to go home.

She will never think of you as clingy or needy. In fact, if she likes you too she will just say it.

This is what I really love about the flirting structure in Thailand. There is no sarcasm, mind games or shit like that. Just pure honest game and you don’t need to solve a puzzle blindfolded to get the girl.

Showing affection in public 

Even tho game in Thailand is pretty straight forward there are no-no’s

Lets say you are with a girl that likes you, and you like her too. You still have to be careful with showing affection. Never cling, hug or try to kiss her in public. This is frowned upon all over Thailand.

She will probably forgive you the first time, as you are not Thai and not used to their customs. But try to avoid it. I know it’s easy to forget when you are with a super feminine and sexy girl. I forget it sometimes too! 🙂

Flirting in public in Thailand is done mostly with words and body language and not body contact.

Affection is reserved for the bedroom. 🙂


Be the alfa

Thai girls are passive most of the time. She will follow your lead and do whatever you suggest. If you want to have sex with her, you have to make it happen. You have to be the man and take responsibility.


Sex on the first date, possible? 

Oh yes. You just need to know what you are doing. The best way to get to your girls apartment is to just tell her. Tell her that you want to see how she lives and that you want to hang out more. When you get back to her apartment she will probably turn on the TV or start to play with her phone.

At this point you just have to improvise. Try to get closer to her, see how she reacts. If she looks comfortable try to touch her, or be the alfa and go straight for the kiss! 😀

Some girls will say no to sex on the first date. It’s not because she don’t want to have sex. It’s more that she don’t want you to think that she have sex with everyone she meets for the first time.

If this is the case you can just continue to try. Keep kissing her and try to make her horny. At some point she will say something like “Oohh. I can not control my feelings anymore”.

Tell her that you wont think bad of her if you have sex on the first date. Tell her that you like her and that everything will be okay the next morning.

This has happened to me several times, and when I finally got her naked she have been soaking wet all the way. 😀

Furthermore, Thai girls are not stupid. They know that if you ask them to see their apartment, there is a high probability that you will hit on her. If she didn’t want that, she wouldn’t let you come to her apartment in the first place. 🙂


Step 4: Learn Thai

Being able to talk Thai with Thai girls is a game changer. And when I say game changer, I mean it.

My game went through the roof after I learned some basic Thai. The reaction you get from the girls are frankly amazing. I think there is no other place on earth you can get that kind of reaction just because you know some of their language.

If you know some basic Thai you go straight out of the ‘tourist box’, and you become one of them. You are on their team now.

Let me tell you a fun story about just this.

My brother was an exchange student in Thailand some years ago. When he went to school here he learned to speak Thai fluent throughout the year. He can have conversations, he can write and he can read. He can talk with anyone in Thai.

This summer he came to Thailand to go to the Full Moon party. I was there too. He got sick from some bacteria from the buckets and had to go to the hospital. First he talked English with them, and the hospital quickly said that this was a private hospital (First Western Hospital at Koh Pha Ngan) and that he had to pay full price.

Then he started to talk Thai with them. The entire staff started to jump around in the emergency room like maniacs. “Whaat, you speak Thai?? Oh my god, why do you speak Thai? Who teach you?.!? Woow. You REALLY speak Thai!!!!”.

Even the doctor in his 60’s was like: “Your brother speak very good Thai” while he was clapping his hands and joking with the nurses. All of them went nuts.. 😀 😛

Fast forward 2 hours. My brother went out of that hospital paying nothing. They had tested him for infection, they had done blood samples, checked the blood pressure, urine test and a lot of other stuff.

If he didn’t talk Thai he would probably have to pay 2000 – 3000 baht for all those tests..

So, as you can see. If you can get a free check at hospital by speaking Thai. You can probably get some free pussy too!

By the way. You don’t have speak fluent of course. Just learn something more than “Sawatde krap” and “sabaidee mai krap”.

Trust me, this will get you a ton of pussy.


Step 5: Have fun

Dating is supposed to be fun! Both for you and the girl.

In Thailand this is even more important than in the West. Having fun while you do anything in Thailand is important. Fun in Thai is “Sanuuk”, and could just as well be their national slogan.

Most Thai people have the attitude that ‘if something isn’t fun, it’s not worth doing’.

If you can express to whatever girl that you want to date, that you want to have fun. You will probably win her heart right away.

Go take her ice-skating in one of the shopping-malls, bring her to the movies, take her to a good restaurant or go drinking if she’s up for that.



If you follow these steps I guarantee you that you will get more pussy than you can ever handle.

I’m not saying this to brag, but I’m in that situation right now. It’s pure freedom. I don’t have to worry about getting laid and I can focus on my work and business. When I was living in the West I had several periods with no girls available. It was a sad as fuck..

But now… If I want to have fun, have sex, or just company to watch a movie. I just make a quick phone call, and I will have some of my girls in my apartment within a couple of hours.

Always try to look your best, exercise regularly to feel fresh and sharp. When you feel sharp, girls will notice that. It’s also easier to pick up signs and body language from the girls that they might like you when you feel sharp and alert after a workout.

If you learn some Thai, and you make it clear that you are up for fun you will stand out from the crowd and have an enormous edge. Then you just have to take your responsibility as a man, and lead her to bed.

Had my first accident in Bangkok traffic

Holy shit! I just had my first accident in Bangkok traffic.

Nothing serious, but still scary as shit, and I got away from it without a scratch! 😀

The traffic in Bangkok is some of the wildest traffic in all of Asia. Damn. I’ve seen it all down here. Some of these motorbikes have an entire family on them. Two adults, 3 kids, an infant and a dog in the basket with a week of groceries. It’s no wonder why people die in the traffic as mayflies here…

Not only is the traffic total mayhem. But I see so many people speeding on big sport bikes.

Dying in a traffic accident is a sad way to go.. So fucking pointless.. Be careful!

When I was at Koh Pha Ngan, and took motorbike taxi one night. I almost shit myself when the driver drove that crazy hill road from Thong Sala to Haad Rin. It was so scary that I rented my own motorbike and drove it myself from then on…

By the way. That is a great tips if you want to survive in the traffic down here. Rent a motorbike and drive yourself. Especially in the smaller cities and on the Islands.

I know I can trust myself, I know I’m a good driver and I know I don’t drive to fast in the curves. I take it easy! But some of these motorbike-taxis are nothing more than a monkey with a language. They drive like absolute maniacs..

Anyways. My accident today…

I was taking a motorbike taxi, and I had a big heavy backpack on my back. It was basically filled with all my clothes because I’m changing apartment. My plan was to take a regular taxi, but there was a traffic jam so I had to jump on a motorbike..

I told the driver to take it easy on the throttle because I had big backpack. No problem he said.

Fast forward 5 minutes and the dude took full fucking throttle in an intersection. I didn’t have the strength to hold myself on the bike. So I tipped over and landed on my backpack on the asphalt. What the fuck…

Luckily I had the backpack on full of clothes so that took the impact pretty good..

What a fucking idiot that driver was.. I told him to take it easy on the throttle. But no, he forgot… ‘Mai bpen rai’ you know… Nothing is a problem or a concern before some shit actually happens…

What if there was a big truck behind us with poor brakes? What if I slammed my head in the asphalt? It’s not like these motorbike taxis bother to give you a helmet…

Scary shit..! Always take it easy in the traffic here. You never know when something bad happens. Remember that 99% of Thai people have that ‘map bpen rai’ attitude. They won’t think 2 seconds into the future when they are driving. No concern for anything before something actually happens.. Totally in the moment..

“ooohh. You fell off? Solly solly”.. No shit… I have fucking ton on my back, what did you think  would happen when you throttle like that..??

Anyways.. Take it easy in the traffic here. You never know when some shit happens. It can happen in a blink of an eye…


Location Report | Thailand – Koh Yao Yai

What’s up guys? 😀 

Today I have another Location Report here for you. This time we will go even more off-road than we did last time with Koh Yao Noi.

This island doesn’t even have a 7/11. That’s nuts!

I spent two days here after I had been at Koh Yao Noi. Considering how small and undeveloped this island is. I feel two days was more than enough to get a final feel for this island.


The two days I was here, I rented a motorbike at the pier for both days. This cost me 250 baht. Really cheap! I spent both days just driving around the island to explore. If you read my blog regularly you already know how much I love motorbikes.

Downtown Koh Yao Yai
Downtown Koh Yao Yai

Available girls (0/5)

Regular girls (Non hookers)

Just like Koh Yai Noi. Not much is happening here. People literally live in huts and the few girls that I met out here was wearing hijab and burka. Yaak!

If you want to have a girl with you to this island you have to find her in Phuket or Krabi.

I did in fact meet ONE cute girl out here in her early twenties. I was driving my motorbike and suddenly I saw a cute girl who was sitting next to a house. I’m a simple man. I see cute girl, I stop to talk.

We talked for maybe 20 minutes. I asked her if she wanted to show me something on the island. When she asked what, I said like a beach, or some nice place or really anything… 😛

She was kind of skeptical and eventually said no. She sat with her mother, so I think maybe that could be some of the reason. I have no idea…


Everyone that lives out here are muslims and every girl I met out here had burkas or hijab. You won’t find any hookers on this island. Not even a massage shop.. 🙁


Nightlife (0/5)

Nothing. When I say nothing, I mean it. Not a single bar on this island. If you want to drink here you will have to drink in the restaurant on the few resorts that you will find out here or swim to Phuket.


Stuff to do (2/5)

On the south-end on the island there is a diving center. It seems like all tourists that come to this island are here because of this center. I don’t know it it’s true,

West-coast of Koh Yao Yai Thailand Phuket
West-coast of Koh Yao Yai

but apparently one of Thailand best diving spots are just outside the south-tip of the island. Maybe you can comment in the comment section if you have any inside information on that?

The diving center name is Elixir Diving. You can find it here on Google maps.

Other than that there is really nothing on the island. The island is very beautiful, raw and rural. So if you want to experience rural Thailand without traveling too far from Phuket this is a good place to get just that.

I had fun the two days I was here, and I always love to explore new places. Even tho it’s not exactly a Goodbye Boring Life destination.

Spending a couple of days here was totally fine with me, but I don’t think I would plan my three-week holiday here.. 😛


Cost of living (4/5)

I can’t imagine this place being an expensive place. The food I ate out here was just local Thai food and it was dirt cheap. The hotels out here are not that cheap considering the location, but I guess it’s for scuba diving enthusiasts so they get away with it.

A dish of food out here was like 30-40 baht for some meat, vegetables and rice. Tasty and healthy. I also ate a lot of fresh seafood out here. Delicious as fuck! 😀


Safety (5/5)

Nothing to comment really.

They did have speakers all over the island that was blasting Allah prayers and shit like that. So you should probably show some respect for that even tho it’s totally ridiculous.


Welcome to Koh Yao Yai




I do recommend going here just for the sake of exploring. It’s always fun to travel new places and experience something outside the tourist tracks. The island is very beautiful with a real rural vibe.

It was also really nice to get out of the touristy Phuket and get to breathe a little fresh air. Not much pollution going on out on this island. In Phuket you won’t get 10 seconds alone before someone approach you, try to sell you something or some girl trying to jump on your dick.

That shit won’t happen out here. Nice to get a break!


Total Score

Available girls:     0/5
Party situation:   0/5
Stuff do to:           2/5
Cost of Living:      4/5
Safety:                   5/5

Goodbye Boring Life Score: 

       11/ 25


7 different types of Thai girls

I’ve been traveling around in Thailand for almost a year now. It’s been a crazy ride and I have done some pretty wild things out here. 😀

Thailand is a fucking blast and I love it.

Anyways.. 😀

Today we will talk about personalities.

Whenever I met a new Thai girl I will put her into one of these 7 categories as soon as I get a feel for her, and I will act accordingly depending on what I want.

I strongly suggest that you do the same, as this can save a lot of trouble and wasted time in paradise.


The good girl

These girls have real jobs and make their own money. They don’t drink or smoke. Most of them never go to parties and they go to bed ridiculously early.

Sometimes they will party and drink, but it’s only on special occasions like her best friend’s birthday. When the clock gets 12 she will look at her phone and say: “ooh, it’s vely late… wolk tomollow…”

Some have dated a foreigner before but for most of them foreign cock is something new.

Don’t be surprised that when you wake up from the first night you had sex, she will already be addressing you as her boyfriend. There is not fucking around with these girls or slow game here.

In fact, that is all they are talking about. Relationships. The overly attached girlfriend meme sums up these girls quite well. 😀 😀

Love, family, meet my family, marriage, drink with my father etc. These girls are serious when it comes to this stuff.

After you have dated her a couple of weeks she will already have started to talk about marriage and trips to Europe to meet your family.

These girls will do everything for you. Their number 1 task in life is to make you happy. They will clean the house, cook, iron your clothes and suck your dick on demand. All they ask in return is your affection and respect.

A good girl would never cheat on you, and when you go home from Thailand she will wait for you patiently as long as you tell her you love her. I know several good girls down here that have farang boyfriends back in Europe.

The girls spend their days working and helping out with family until you come back. Such a waste of good tight pussy. 🙁

Most of the good girls are very conservative on the make up, and some of them don’t use it. You wont see any tattoos or piercings on them either. Most do not even have pierced ears.

A good girl have a lot of pride, and she would never ask you for money. In fact, she will insist on at least paying her part when you are eating out. Sometimes she will even insist on paying everything. Especially if you are somewhat the same age.

The only time she would ask you for money was if there was a real urgent crisis where she had no other choice. That is fair enough..

Dating these girls will in fact save you money, because she knows where to find the good cheap food, she knows how to get from A to B fast and effectively, she knows where you can buy cheap shirts and she knows where you can get a decent haircut without being ripped off.

I love to date these girls, because when I find them I know I will be served fresh, tight, wet and disease free pussy as they don’t fuck around. Some of these girls are so tight I have to spend a good 30 minutes to get it in the first couple of times we bang.

If you want to be totally sure about diseases you can take her for HIV testing. You’ll never know if she had an ex Thai boyfriend that fucked every slut in his home village.

I love to date them, but in fact, they can be pretty boring too, especially in length. Most of them suck in English and conversations will most likely never go outside the daily stuff like “Had a good day?”, “What will we eat tonight?”.

They can also be very jealous and be prepared for questions like “Do you have other girls” or “Why you up so late last night?”

I understand that they are serious about relationships, and that they want you as a boyfriend or husband, but I don’t want to marry a girl after dating her for 2 months. It’s too fast. Slow down my dear.

That is why I always look for the girls I will be talking about now, the cool girls! 😀


The cool girl

Cool girls are very much like the good girls. They have all the good manners and beliefs as the good girls, but they are even better.

These girls have hopes, plans, goals and dreams they are working towards. They will not sit around totally helpless waiting for a man to take care of them.

The cool girls usually talk much better English than the good girls. That is such a relief because you get sick of dating girls with Google Translate as a mediator. That is fun the ten first times, then you get kind of tired of that.

It’s common that cool girls have slightly more wealthy parents than the good girls. This has opened the world for them.

Some have studied one year abroad abroad. Some have even learned a third language. I once dated a cool girl that spoke French. That was sexy as fuck. 😀

You will never meet a cool girl without a passport as most of them have done some traveling. They all have interests and hobbies that they pursue in their free time. I have met girls that do dancing, martial arts, surfing, painting, playing instruments, sing and play sports.

I even met a girl that was planning to start a shelter for homeless dogs. Respect!! 😀

These girls are independent and hard-working. But without loosing their femininity and gentleness like most women in the West do. That is something I find really attractive.

These girls are very easy to have conversations with as they already talk English. You will have a lot to talk about and if you are smart you find a girl with common interests and hobbies.

That whole fantasy about finding a girl that doesn’t talk a word English is fun in the beginning, but if you want a real and serious relationship with a girl, you need to have stuff to talk about. Not everything is about tight pussy. 😀 😛

I usually get along with cool girls right away. We always have something to talk about like travel experiences, compare our cultures or common hobbies.

If you want to find a giik (fuckfriend) you should absolutely look for cool girls. Some of these girls can have sex with you just for the enjoyment and without starting to nag about getting married or meeting her entire family tree.

I’ve had several cool girls as fuckfriend the last year. They are the best. 😀

What I really love about the cool chicks is that they are always up for some fun. They are open-minded and love to try and experience new stuff.

Cool girls are totally up for some drinks in the weekends, but they will not go totally nuts like the nightclub sluts I will talk about now. They also kept their pride, so they won’t nag about your money.


The nightclub slut

The nightclub sluts are all about party hard every night. They dress up like whores and is all about status. Diamonds in the ears, expensive phones, fancy drinks, taking cool tattoos and wearing fresh and hot clothes.

Some have good jobs that can pay for this lifestyle, but most of them don’t. They solve this by being gold diggers with wealthy men they meet in the clubs. Some are not shy about selling sex, while others will sell it, but it will be in a more discreet way.

Like the “we have fun, you pay for everything” way. Others will just say it, “give me 3000 baht and I’ll fuck you”.

Because these girls are all about status you will always see them with their phones up. This is so they can take pictures whenever something cool happens. They want to been seen popping expensive bottles of wine, hanging out with handsome tall farang men and be seen in the ‘zone’.

The only way to make sure of this is to always be ready to snap the next picture just so they can put it on Facebook and Instagram.

These girls can be really fun to party hard with, some of them are really nuts and you will never hear these girls say it’s too late. They will continue until early morning.

Here it the deal with the nightclub sluts: I don’t trust them. Most of them are semi pro hookers. The signs are there and if I’m fucking one of them, there is a good probability that she is fucking other men in between. I would never fuck a club slut without condom.

They never act jealous, that is a pretty good evidence that they don’t give a fuck and that they fuck other men too. Good girls and cool girls will be jealous as soon as you look at or talk about other girls. That is NOT true for nightclub sluts.

A lot of nightclub sluts will say that they ‘just took three weeks of from work’…. Hmm.. How can you do that my love..? Do you have an old dude that is sending you money, and that you fuck every time he’s around? But when he’s not around, you drink like a maniac and fuck every one else? Yeah, I thought so.

The thing is, this is extremely normal here in Asia. A lot of older guys will go to the clubs, find some super hot young lady and say: “Hey, if you become my girlfriend I will give you 1000$ a month.” Of course it’s hard to say no when you make 300$ a month in a job that you hate.

All the girl have to do is to visit their old ‘boyfriend’ a couple of times each week, ride their dick and finish of with a good blow job. Then collect the cash.


Here is another thing I don’t like with these girls; they can be very demanding. They will tell you: “I want that, and this, in that way”.. I don’t like that. They have been spoiled too much by rich men, and they know they can get away with that shit if they do it on enough men. Someone will always succumb. These girls will always test your limits about what they can get away with. NO thanks! 🙁

If you meet a girl at Thai Cupid, and she starts ‘your relationship’ with demanding a special restaurant or nightclub, she is probably a gold digging nightclub slut. Watch out.

So, they are demanding, but at the same time you have to pay for them. Bad deal if you ask me, you could just as well go find a hooker that will do what ever you want for money.



These girls will fuck you for money. You can find them everywhere in Thailand, but most of them are in big cities such as Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket.

They come in all sizes and shapes and if you want to know more about hookers in Thailand you can check out my Thailand Sex Guide for beginners.

Most of the hookers are from northeast Thailand (Isaan) and they sell sex because they are from poor families. They use the money to support themselves, maybe save money for education or send money back home to the family.

Some hookers will sell sex because they are lazy, don’t want to work and think it is okay to rent out their pussy for fast cash.

The hottest hookers can make a lot of money in short time, and will not stay around for long. However, some will because they fall in love with the neon lights, high energy and the money.


High Society Girls

Hi-So girls are descendants of wealthy families in Thailand. Families that own land or big businesses. You will probably not see much of them because they mingle and socialize mostly with people within the same social status.

You also have a another type of Hi-So girls. That are those who made their own way into this exclusive circle either by their looks or because they are smart.

If you want to mingle with these people you should absolutely look for that last group as they actually have a brain and where not just born into wealth.

Personally I don’t like most of these people as they are too full on themselves and have pretty bad attitudes against people who have less.

You probably don’t have a chance with these people unless you are wealthy yourself. As status means everything.


Ladyboys and tomboys

Then you have the ladyboys and tomboys.

Ladyboys are technically men, but they dress up and act like women. Some are more sincere than others. You will find anything from part-time ladyboys to ladyboys that do the final thing, cut of their….

Tomboys are girls that dress up and act like men, and just like the ladyboys, some are more sincere than others.

These people can be in whatever groups I have already been talking about. Some are good people with traditional attitudes while other are in the clubs every night going nuts. They are generally accepted all over Thailand and they make Thailand a little bit more interesting. 😀

Personally I have no interest in dating them, but I totally respect their way of being.


There you have it..!

7 different types of Thai girls in Thailand. When you are meeting new girls in Thailand you should always try to categorize them. That can save you from a lot of trouble and headaches.

If you want to find a girl that you can have interesting conversations with and maybe have some noncommittal sex with. You should look for the cool girls, or maybe a nightclub slut with some basic manners.

If you just want to party hard, and don’t care if you have to give some money for the pussy drilling session, go find a nightclub slut that don’t give a fuck about anything.

If you just want sex, and don’t want to spend any energy at all. Just jump inside a go-go bar or a beer bar.

If you are looking for a lifelong partner, you should look for a good girl or a cool girl. But stay far away from the nightclub sluts and the hookers.

All type of girls can be equal fun, it just depends on what you are looking for.. 😀


How to be happy in Thailand with one word

What’s up guys? 😀

Another philosophical post here at Goodbye Boring Life. I realized that I had been a little bit too negative in my last posts, so I need to turn the tide and start being positive again.

First I was whining about stuff I don’t like about Thai girls, then I had an outburst against Chinese tourists and then I even made post about general stuff I don’t like about Thailand.

I have also been writing about the scams and the insane noise pollution earlier.

And yes, it’s true that life down here is not perfect. And I don’t want to write only positive stuff about southeast-Asia. Because then you’ll get a complete wrong picture of the reality down here. It’s not free pussy and palm trees every day unfortunately. 🙁

At the same time I don’t want to sound like those old bitter guys in the water holes in Pattaya and Bangkok. Whining all day about poor exchange rates for their government benefits back home, that all Thai girls are about money and that everything was better in the old days.

Life is too short to be a whining cunt, it’s important to stay positive 😀

So with that, I will tell you about the one trait you’ll need to stay happy down here. Held on tight.



Yeah. It’s really that simple, and at the same time, for some people, so fucking hard. Acceptance is everything if you want to stay sane here.

You need to accept that some stuff here is different, and that there is very little you can do to change that.

If you can’t do that, you will never be happy down here. Let me give you a bunch of examples…



Whenever I’m with some Thai chick, and we start to make out before we have sex. She will at some point say something like: “Oohh sooooooolly. I’m soo dirty, have to shower. Give me five minutes naaaaa kaaaa”.

You wait five minutes, but she’s still not out of the shower, you wait 10 more minutes, still showering, you wait another 15 minutes and she turn off the water finally. But then she stays inside the bathroom for another 20 minutes with the shower off. What the fuck is going on..??

You start to wonder if she had a heart attack, or if she don’t want to have sex with you so she just hide in the bathroom until you pass out from boredom.

You knock on the door and ask if everything is okay…

When she finally get out, you ask her why she spent almost 40 minutes in the shower.

She will quickly answer: “oohh. Solly, I was doing finger nail and I folgot about time”. She will say it like nothing happened. Like she was gone for just 3 minutes. Smiling and being happy like usual.

These people are totally in the moment, and they almost never think about time. For them those 40 minutes in the shower went by in a blink, but for you it was like an eternity.

If you don’t have the patience or have a hard time to accept this behavior, you will never be happy down here. You will just constantly be annoyed about 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there…


Thailand is like this, messy.
Thailand is like this pattern. Messy!

If you are in a taxi, and you ask the driver how far it is to your destination. He will answer 5 minutes.

10 minutes later you ask him again how far it is. Again he will answer 5 minutes. 10 minutes later you….. You get my point.

Don’t be so concerned about time in Thailand. Stuff happens when it happens. You arrive when you arrive. You really need to adopt to that mindset or you will go nuts here…


When you eat in the restaurants stuff works a little bit different too. Especially the ones out in the smaller cities or in rural areas.

Most businesses employ family and friends. If they are service minded or not is totally irrelevant… They can be 95% retarded, and still get the job.

When I was staying in Sukhothai long-term some years ago, I usually ate my dinner at one of the local restaurants. It was not unusual that the staff was sleeping mid-day when I came for dinner.

I literally had to wake them up to make my order, when I got the food, they just continued sleeping while I ate… Imagine that in Europe or the US, you would get fired on the spot!

Other times the shop was open, but the entire staff had left for some unknown reason. It could also be closed for no reason at all. Sometimes they opened early, other times they opened late. Despite their opening sign declaring that they open 10.00 am all week.

Sometimes when I ordered food, the food never came, when I asked the girl that served me where the food was. The girl who took my order just said: “oohhh solly. I folgot to tell cook”.. I’m just thinking: “Hooow the fuck is that possible I’m the only one here?!.?”…

The point is, this shit happens all the time all over Thailand, and it’s probably worse in Cambodia and Vietnam from what I’ve read. If you walk around getting pissed for stuff like this you will be pissed a lot…

Some time ago I was eating next to an American dude in Chiang Mai. This was a small local Thai restaurant. I don’t know what he ordered, but it was some basic stuff with meat, vegetables and rice.

He ordered chicken, but he ended up getting pork..! Oh nooo!

He made a big fucking scene out of this, and he demanded that they made him a new dish with chicken. For the next 20 minutes while he was waiting for the correct dish he just sat there acting angry and frustrated. He even tried to haggle on the price. The original prize was like 40 baht or something… What an idiot..

When he left the shop he said: “I will never eat here again!! You are hopeless!! GOODBYE..!”..

I mean, what’s the point?? Why can’t you just accept it that they fucked up your order, and gave you the wrong type of meat? Will you have a heart attack if you eat pork, and not chicken? Will something bad happen at all? No, it wont… You will be totally fine.

How would this guy react if he had been waiting for his Thai girl in the shower for 40 minutes, just after the taxi he took to his girl friend was stuck in a jam for 30 minutes, just after he had spent an entire night back at his hotel without power and AC from an unexpected power cut?? He would probably go mental on her….

The point is. This is not your home. Stuff works different here. You need to accept that. If you can’t, you will eventually go bananas. That pink vacation haze will pass some day, and suddenly you realize that you live here, so now you have to deal with all this…

Thailand is after all a developing country, and even tho they have some fancy shopping malls and 5 stars hotel. Most of the people you will meet are still from rural areas with the “no problem” mentality living strong within them.

If you want to live a life where everything runs smoothly and nothing goes wrong you should probably move to Germany…. And I’m not coming with you!! 😛

You need to stay cool, be patient, don’t take stuff to serious, accept that not everything goes according to the plan, be flexible and enjoy the ride. Because that’s what Thailand is, it’s a ride!  😀

Tiki Bar Koh Pha Ngan

Pattaya Nightlife / Redlight Guide

Okay guys. I just did what I said I would never do.

I made a complete nightlife and redlight guide for Pattaya. I said before that it’s kind of meaningless because Pattaya is just one big whorehouse. I still stand by that..!! 😛

It doesn’t matter where you go in Pattaya. There is always something fun and naughty going on here.

If you are looking for a newbie guide for naughty Thailand, check out this post. I also made a monger budget for a three-week trip in this post.

In this guide I will tell you about all the different naughty life districts that are in Pattaya. You can still find naughty action outside these districts but in slightly lesser concentration. At the bottom of this post there is a map of al the places I have been talking about.


Walking Street

Walking Street Pattaya Nightlife

Walking street is the ‘main attraction’ in Pattaya, and probably the first place you think about when someone mention Pattaya. The amount of neon light they have been able to put inside this tiny strip of road is amazing.

Insomnia Nightclub Pattaya
Insomnia Nightclub

This street alone, with its side streets have over 70 go-go bars. In addition to that it has 3-4 beer bar gardens with 15-20 bars in each garden.

The most popular nightclubs and ‘regular’ bars here is Ibar, Insomnia and The Stoners house. That last bar has live music every night.

You will also find a bunch of other bars in this street that I don’t remember the name of. All can be equal good. It really depends on the vibe at what bar you stay in.

The Stones House Pattaya
The Stones House

Check out the 3 best go-go bars in Pattaya here. All of the go-go bars I mention in that guide is in or around Walking Street somewhere.

I also wrote about a go-go bar / club that tries to scam you. Also in Walking Street.

Most of the go-go bars in Walking Street has hot girls, but a lot of the go-go are just that. Average. To find the best go-go bars check the guide I already linked to over.

Best time to come to Walking Street is between 7pm – 9pm if you want to visit a go-go bar. At this time most girls have come to work, and they have not been barfined yet. If you go later than this, you might risk that all the hot girls are taken for the night.

The nightclubs in Walking Street usually fills up after midnight and are open until there are no more people.

Walking Street can be a little bit pushy. Working girls here will nag about lady drinks, people will approach you all the time about ping-pong shows or try to drag you inside bars / go-go’s etc. The street will always be crammed and its the most expensive place in Pattaya to drink, eat and go with girls.


Soi 6 – Short-time bars and blow-job bars

Soi 6 short-time bars pattaya

This is my favorite street in Pattaya. The reason is; it’s no bullshit. You walk in, find a girl who you like, go upstairs, have your fun, pay, and you’re out of there.

Soi 6 is a 100 meter long street filled with 40-60 beer bars. However, they are not like the beer bars in Walking Street. The bars in Soi 6 have their own rooms upstairs with a bed and a shower.

Soi 6 beer bar girl
Lady in Soi 6

When you have found the girl that you like, you simply go upstairs.

This street can be pretty wild at times, and the energy is sky-high every night. Some of the girls that work here are completely nuts. You won’t find shy girls here that are afraid to go wild.

The prices are much more friendly than in Walking Street. A beer here can be half the price of some of the go-go bars in Walking Street.

While prices goes up every year in Walking Street, the prices in Soi 6 stays the same. A shag costs between 1000 – 1300 baht.

You might think that the girls here must be ugly when you have to pay 1000 baht for a bang. That is not true. I’ve met some of the hottest and most fun girls in this street.

A lot of the girls here could easily get a job in one of Walking Street’s go-go bars. Why don’t they do it? They are probably too lazy to dance all night.


Ladyboys in Soi 6

Soi 6 also have a lot of ladyboy bars. These are location closest to the beach in Soi 6. Prices are the same as the girl bars.


Soi LK Metro

Soi LK Metro Pattaya

Soi LK Metro is another street in Pattaya with a big concentration of naughty establishments. This street has a lot of beer bar and go-go bars. In the connecting street, Soi Diana, down below Areca Logde Hotel, you will find a gigantic beer-bar garden with 50-70 beer bars. All with 5-10 girls each.

Soi LK Metro used to be cheaper than Walking Street, but these days the prices are pretty much the same. However, if you like it a little bit more laid back, you should probably choose Soi LK Metro.

My favorite go-go bars in Soi LK Metro is Lady Love. This place has an open shower where the girls are soaping themselves up while dancing to music. Fun stuff! 😀 

Another good, and the biggest go-go in Soi LK Metro is Showgirls go-go bar.


Beer bars in Pattaya

Beer-bar gardens Pattaya

Beer-bars are what Pattaya is most famous for after Walking Street. Most beer-bars are found in clusters inside beer-bar gardens. In one garden there can be anything from 5 bars to 40 bars. All bars with 3-15 girls.

The biggest beer-bar gardens in Pattaya are found inside Walking Street on right-hand side when you are walking from Beach Rd. You will find two massive beer-bar gardens here.

There are also beer-bar gardens spread all around Pattaya. Usually they are close to Beach Rd or Pattayasaisong Rd. Pattayasaisong Rd goes parallel to Beach Rd.

Beer-bar girl Walking Street
Beer-bar girl at Walking Street

When you get to Mikes Shopping mall there is a gigantic beer-bar garden on the right side of Pattayasaisong Rd if you are coming from Walking Street.

In Soi 7, 8 and 9 there are also hundred of beer bars spread all over the place.

Girls in the beer-bars are usually much more easy-going than their sisters in the go-go bars. They won’t nag so much about lady drinks and they will be much more relaxed. In fact, most of these girls will never ask for anything, you have to give them lady drinks.

If you are looking for a girl friend experience I would go for the beer-bar girls. Some girls can be sexy and sweet as hell. Some girls are just to lazy to stand dancing in a go-go bar all night. Just because beer-bar girls are cheaper doesn’t mean they are uglier.


Happy Ending Massage in Pattaya

Massage parlor Pattaya

You can’t really go anywhere in Pattaya without seeing a massage parlor shop. They are literally in every street of Pattaya. All of them offer massage and you will probably get a happy ending in most of them too.

Just walk around until you find a shop with a cute girl that you like. Then tell the girls that you want massage with the girl you like. When you get upstairs with her, she will probably tap you on your dick at some point with a funny smile on her face.

If she does not give you a tap, you have to ask her. If she says no, well, you have been very unlucky with the girl you selected.


You will have to pay for the massage. That is usually between 200-300 baht. If you want happy ending you should go for oil massage as you will be lying naked with only a towel over your private parts (easy access for the girl).

Hand-job: 500-700 baht
Blow-job: 1000 baht

Some girls will not be shy at all and they will deep throat your dick and let you cum all over their face or inside the mouth. Some will even swallow. Other girls will be super-shy and be paranoid about getting even one drop of jizz in their face / mouth.

In my experience, the older the girl is, the more likely it is she will be good at sucking and let you cum all over her.

If you don’t want to take the chance about getting a good / bad girl. I suggest that you go to the blow job bars to get a girl that really knows how to suck dick.


Blow-job Bars in Pattaya

Blow-job bars Pattaya

I’ve had some blow-jobs in Pattaya that have been simply amazing. Most girls can’t make me cum when they suck me, but in Pattaya I’ve met some girls that have made me cum within 2 minutes.

Also, they are not shy about jizz and they will let you cum all over their face or in their mouth. Some will even swallow. So if that is what you want, you should stay away from the massage shops and go to a dedicated blow-job bar instead.

Most girls in the blow-job bars are not on the upper scale when it comes to beauty, but they know their stuff. So it’s kind of fun nevertheless.

The blow job bars are found all over Pattaya, but there is a cluster of them in Soi 13/2 and in Soi 6. Check the map under for location.


Other stuff in Pattaya

Hollywood Pattaya Nightclub

There is a really good nightclub in Pattaya called Hollywood Pattaya. This place is huge and it fills up every night. You will find mostly Thai people here, but if you go here with a girl you took from a go-go bars or beer-bar you can have really fun. 

They play a mix of Thai Pop music, Thai Rock, Pop music from the Western world, K-pop and house. Usually it’s one hour with one genre, then they switch to something else. They also have a lot of female dancers and other entertainment on the main scene.

If you want the girlfriend experience with a hooker I suggest that you take her out for some drinks. This will loosen her up, and it will be more easy for her to have fun with you. I’ve done this a million times and it’s always a winner.

Beefeater Pattaya steak
Tender Steak

Just next to Mikes Shopping mall, over the street you will find a restaurant that is called Beefeater. The steak they sell here is amazing.

The steak is so tender it melts in your mouth. It will set you back around 1000 baht, but you get what you pay for.




Map of nightlife and redlight in Pattaya

Under you will find a map of everything I have talked about in this post. It’s sorted after type. If you click the square at the top-right corner of the map goes full screen. Much easier to navigate.

Testing out a flotation tank in Bangkok

What’s up guys? 😀

If you are in Bangkok, and you want to try something that is even more relaxing than an oil massage, I have some good news to you.

It’s called a flotation tank, and yeah.. That is exactly what you do. You float inside a tank.



This is basically how it works

When you arrive you’ll get a room for yourself with a shower and a tank. After you are done with showering you jump inside the tank completely naked.

When you are inside the tank you will float like a wine cork because the water is very salty. You turn of the lights, put ear plugs in the ears and relax.

The water is the same temperate as you skin, so after a while you won’t feel the water.

You will not see anything, hear anything and because you float, and don’t feel the water, it feels like you’re weightless. The session can last anything from 1 hour to 4 hours. It’s up to you.


Why would you do this…?

It’s extremely relaxing. When you get out of that tank you will feel like you were given a new body. All tensions are gone, all neck and back pain are gone and you will feel very alert when you get out.

If you are working hard on something, and you feel really tired and tense. Lets say you had a 8 hour session on a computer…  A couple of hours in that tank would solve all your problems.

It’s also a good place to think, without getting distracted. You can think out plans, business ideas, if the Thai girl you are with are the right one :P,  or anything else that you have on your mind.

Another funny thing that will happen for a lot of people are hallucinations. The reason for this is because your brain don’t feel anything from the outer surroundings. This is not a normal state for the mind, so your brain goes nuts.

All nerve impulses from the outside world stops, so your brain starts to use all that energy on the nerves inside the brain instead. Therefor hallucinations.

A lot of people take drugs when they are inside these tanks. If you want to do that is really up to you. I’ve heard you can have some really intense trips if you combine hallucinogens and flotation tanks.

marijuana, LSD, mushrooms, DMT etc. It’s really up to you.


Bangkok Flotation Center
Bangkok Flotation Center

I went to a place called Bangkok Flotation Center. You can find their webpage here. This place was a pain in the ass to find, but it was totally worth it.

I’ve been here three times now, and I really enjoy spending time in that tank.

You should take the BTS train to Udon Suk station towards Bearing. From there it’s about 10 minutes with taxi.

I talked with the dude that owned the shop, and he said that they would move the studio in some months, so if you are reading this in the future you should double-check the location.




Location Report | Thailand – Koh Yao Noi

Hi guys! What’s going on? 😀 

Time for another location report here at Goodbye Boring Life.

Today we will go off-road here in Thailand. Not many people have heard about this island despite its location just outside Phuket. That is sad because this is one of the most beautiful islands I’ve ever been to in Thailand.

Koh Yao Noi Beach
It’s unreal!

It’s rural, untouched and have some of the most beautiful beaches I have ever seen in Thailand.

Some of these beaches are world-class and because there is very little development here you will get the beaches for yourself.


I spent three days here last year when I was in Phuket long-term. My plan was to stay here for only two days, but then I fucked up and missed the last boat back to Phuket. I did not have hotel for the night so I ended up crashing with a Thai women and a french guy that lived just next to the pier LOL 😛


Available girls (1/5)

Normal girls (non hookers)

Don’t panic! Here is the deal with this island. 95% of the people who lives here are muslims. That is all fine but hitting up with a muslim girl is not really optimal as most of them can’t have sex before marriage. Their religion puts a lot of brakes on what they can do or not do.

A lot of the girls that lives here or have their family here ends up in Phuket anyways. That is where the universities and jobs are.

If you want to have a girl with you when you are at this island you have to find her in Phuket before you go here. Then you bring her out here to relax in one of the few, but very luxurious resorts that you will find out here. 😀



There are no hookers or bars with red light activity on this island. Maybe you could get a happy ending in one of the massage shops west on the island. Comment below if you have any inside information. 😀


Party situation (0/5)

Sorry guys. Because the island is mostly consistent of muslims there are not much nightlife activity going on out here. I did not find _one_ bar here. If you want to drink you’ll have to drink inside the hotel resorts or buy beer at 7/11.


Stuff to do (3/5)

Not much traffic
Not much traffic

Here is the thing with this island. The slow-life and the beauty is an attraction in itself. If you want to relax and just take it easy for a few days this is the perfect place to do just that.

Driving a motorbike here is awesome too as you have the roads for yourself. Up in north there are curvy roads with steep mountain hills. Really fun to drive there!

You can rent motorbikes at the pier if you are here for a day-trip, if you are staying over the night, most resorts here rent out motorbikes too.



IMG_5816From the small town east on the island you can rent long-tail boats that will take you on a day trip to Phang Nha national park. A must see when you visit this region of Thailand.

There are several good diving spots around the island. You can rent a long tail boat to take you to those places.


Sea food

There are several sea food restaurants at the island. The one I ate on didn’t even have a menu, they just served you whatever they caught that day with cold drinks. Really tasty and super fresh.


The coconut garden

Coconut garden
Coconut garden

West on the island you will find an area with rice fields, in the middle of those fields there is a garden that grows coconuts. 20 baht will give you a fresh coconut that you can enjoy after driving around in the heat!

Just north of that garden you will find the pier that you can see in the thumbnail picture of this post.




Cost of living (3/5)

The few resorts that you will find out here is actually quite expensive. That is kind of strange considering how undeveloped this island is. When that is said, these resorts are really top-notch stuff and is located in extremely beautiful surroundings. Just take a good look at these pictures. 😀

Food out here is super cheap. Most of the shops here are Thai food restaurants with regular Thai food. 20-50 baht for a dish with something, when I was eating sea food west on the island I paid 60 baht for food and drink.

Renting motorbikes costs 200 baht per day all over the island. You could probably get that cheaper if you stay here long time.

By the way, the Thai lady and the french guy that I lived with the last night. They had been working in France for a couple of years, saved all their money and bought an awesome property out here.

They built a small motorbike shop on the main road from the pier where the boats from Phuket are coming in. Behind the small motorbike shop they built a big house in between the trees!

So whenever a tourist is coming in from Phuket, the motorbike shop that they built is the first thing they see! Genius!

The shop
The shop
The house
The house








Safety (5/5)

Nothing to say.



Koh Yao Noi Resort

This is a nice island to visit for some days.

I could imagine bringing a hot Thai girl out here that you found in Phuket would be really awesome. Just fuck all day while you enjoy the beautiful surroundings at the same time. Walk on the beach, chill out, explore the island with motorbikes, fuck some more, go on a boat trip to the national park or eat some delicious fresh seafood.

I know I will be back here some day. 🙂


Total Score

Available girls:     1/5
Party situation:   0/5
Stuff do to:           3/5
Cost of Living:      3/5
Safety:                   5/5

Goodbye Boring Life Score: 

       12/ 25

Top 3: Go-go bars in Pattaya

What’s up guys? 😀 😀

Today I will tell you about my tree favorite go-go bars in Pattaya.

There are a lot of good go-go bars in Pattayaland. Most of them will give you a good time and you could probably find a hot women in all of them.

The ‘problem’ with Pattaya’s go-go bars is that most of them are the same, only with a different name on the outside.

You walk in, there are 10-15 girls on stage. 13 of them are an average 6/10 girl and you have a couple of stunners that steal all the attention.

Here are three go-go bars I mean stand out from the crowd.


1: Baccara – Walking Street


Just like in Bangkok. This go-go bar is a total meat marked. Baccara have quantity and quality at the same time. Not many go-go bars can check that box on their list.

If you are out for the purpose of finding a hot girl to have fun with, and don’t have time to fuck around, buying unnecessary lady drinks or deal with nagging. Just go to Baccara.

They have never let me down, and they will not let you down either. 😀

Barfine: 600 baht
Short-time:1500 – 2500 baht
Long-time: 2000 – 4500 baht

Beer: 180 baht
Ladydrink: 180 baht


2: Iron Club – Walking Street

Iron Club Go-go Pattaya

This gogo bar stands out from the crowd because they have a bath tub in the middle of the bar with 2-3 naked girls inside soaping them self up. Over the bath tub there are chains where girls fly around in the roof, also completely naked.

Not all the girls here are stunners, but some of them are. Another good thing with this bar is that the girls are naked. That way you can have a really good look before you take them back to your hotel, that way you won’t get any nasty surprises. 🙂


Barfine: 600 baht
Short-time:1500 – 2500 baht
Long-time: 2000 – 4500 baht

Beer: 180 baht
Ladydrink: 180 baht



3: Heaven Above – Walking Street Soi 15

This place is kind of hard to find if you are not familiar in the area, but just ask someone until you are in the right street.

It’s worth it because this go-go bar is nuts. They have three rules for their go-go dancers:

  1. White skinned
  2. Skinny
  3. Minimum 1.65 tall

Some of the girls here really know how to dance too. In most go-go bars the girls just stand still while they swing back and worth. At this bar the girls are much more passionate than that.


Barfine: 800 baht
Short-time:1500 – 2500 baht
Long-time: 2000 – 4500 baht

Beer: 180 baht
Ladydrink: 180 baht

Great ways to kill yourself in Thailand

This post should be totally unnecessary to make. But after staying in Thailand for almost a year you won’t believe what kind of shit I’ve seen down here. Nothing surprises me anymore.

People don’t die in Thailand because this place is dangerous, people die here because they are complete morons.

I know it’s hard to come out of US and Europe. Those places are dictatorships in the name of ‘safety’. The government protect you from birth to grave. You don’t need to use your brain or think about consequences. Then you come down here where you can do whatever you want with temptations lurking on every corner.

Some people can’t handle that freedom, they go nuts, do something stupid, and end up in a plastic bag. Here are some ways you can kill yourself in Thailand.


Drive a 1000cc sport bike.. drunk. 😀

It’s okay to drive a 100cc motorbike after a couple of beers. I do that all the time. Never had any incident, and I never will. When I drive mildly intoxicated I drive under 20 km/h and focus like an astronaut that’s about to leave earth.

Driving a 1000cc sport bike however, after drinking a lot of alcohol with your friend, without a proper helmet in a big city such as Pattaya. You are asking for it.

That’s what this English guy did, and he wont be enjoying pussy any time soon, because his brain splattered all over the street. Graphic content.


Rent a motorbike when you can’t drive

Thailand is not a place to learn driving motorbikes. At least not if you are a complete idiot. A girl from England I met at Koh Yao Noi found out that the hard way.

She basically sat down on the scooter, gave full throttle, panicked and drove right out of the road. Unfortunately for her there was a steep slope down into some trees where she drove out of the road.

She didn’t get any serious injuries, but she wrecked that motorbike pretty hard and she had to pay the motorbike shop 60.000 baht for a new motorbike.

The people who owned the shop got angry as fuck and almost gave the girl a beating in addition to the beating from the crash.

They were even mad at me because they thought the girl was my friend, and that I knew she couldn’t drive. I had to explain them that she was not my friend, and that I just met her on the boat to the island.


Buy drugs from Nigerians

All tourist areas in Thailand have Nigerian drug dealers. Never buy drugs from these guys. They don’t give a shit about you. They just want your money.

There was a tourist lately in Phuket that bought cocaine from one of these Africans. Unfortunately he did not get cocaine, but heroin. He sniffed that shit and died from heroin overdose Pulp Fiction style.

If you are even more unlucky, the Thai police catch you in the act of buying. If you don’t have money to bribe your way out, you’ll end up in a Thai prison. 15 years later you will be a free man, but with a ton of diseases, weird infections and HIV. That sucks.

Stick with banging hot Asian girls and drink tasty beer. You will never get in trouble for that if you behave. 🙂


Hit on a Thai girl with her Thai boyfriend in the bar

If you are a reader of my site you know that Thai people are extremely jealous. Not only that, if you are hitting on a girl who have a Thai boyfriend close by, you make the boyfriend loose face. Jealousy + loosing face can be a deadly combination in Thailand if you meet the wrong people.

A guy from the US experienced that first hand outside Hollywood Pattaya in Pattaya. He got beaten so badly by the boyfriend and his friends that he was picked up by an ambulance one hour after the beating.

I actually flew the scene while the beating was going on. I was the only other farang outside that bar while he got beaten up. Not good.

You don’t want to be around when Thai people are angry. They have no control.


Interfere in Thai drama

Like I said, you don’t want to be around Thai people when they are loose control. A guy from India tried to break up a fight between some Thai people at Koh Pha Ngan. He was stabbed to death.


Jump from 10th floor in Pattaya

This shit happens more than you think. Some people come to Thailand. They can’t handle all the temptations, go completely nuts in the bars of Pattaya, use up all their money and savings. Then one day their bank account is empty and they have no way to get home.

Others were stupid to fall in love with a bar girl, then starts a business in her name, as foreigners can’t own property in Thailand, she runs away with all the property, and the guy is left with nothing.

What do they do? They jump from buildings. Don’t end up like those losers.


Punch a police officer in the face

A good way to become popular in Thailand is to punch a hard working police officer in the face when he tries to speak to you because you parked in the middle of a high way.

In fact, a guy tried just that. Luckily he was Thai, so he survived. If a farang did something similar he would probably get much harder treatment.


Beat up your Thai girlfriend in public

If you want extra respect from the local boys, beat up your Thai girlfriend in public for everyone to see.

Because why not?

For some reason this guy was not taken care of there and then. You can see in the video that a lot of Thai guys are watching, ready to jump in if the farang becomes too crazy. He was very lucky…


As you can see. Take it easy in Thailand folks. High season is here and the bars will be crammed. Most Thai people are warm, kind and gentle, but if you disrespect them, you can get in a ton of trouble.

Not everyone in the tourist areas have good intentions, and if you piss of the right people, you can actually get badly hurt.

I’m always very polite and humble in the nightlife areas of Thailand. I’ve never been in any real trouble.

I once had a dispute about a check-bin that was waaay to high. I talked slow, were polite and argued my case, and nothing bad happened (they actually gave me discount).

I always pull away if I suspect any trouble, and I will never use any kind of violence or rough behavior unless I have no other choice.

No one will help you if you get in trouble here, down here you are on your own. This is not the place to be a hero, unless you’re actually willing to sacrifice yourself.

At the end. Lets enjoy this video of a drunk farang getting beaten up by three bar-girls. I don’t know what he did, but he was probably an asshole.

Location Report | Thailand – Phuket

Time for another location report here at Goodbye Boring Life. 😀

Today I will tell you about my favorite place on earth. I know it’s a cliche, but there is a reason why Phuket is so popular.

You have the crazy nightlife, hot women everywhere, monger options for a million years, best beaches in the world, endless side trip options, world class food, luxurious resorts, cheap hostels ++. Everything you will ever need you’ll find at this island.

Every time I’ve been in Phuket I’ve had a awesome time. And it’s really one of those places where you can say goodbye to your boring life forever.

Last time I was here, I stayed for free with a Thai girl that I met at Thai Cupid. That saved me for a shit ton of money in accommodation. 😀

Unfortunately, last time I was here there was a big forest fire over in Indonesia and all the smog came over to Phuket. So some og my pictures from Phuket look like shit. 


Available girls (6/5)

Regular girls (non hookers)

I’ve already said many times on this site that the further south you go in Thailand, the uglier the local girls get. That is also true for Phuket but what is special here is that people come from all over Thailand to live of the tourism.

You can meet girls here from Chiang Mai (which are the most beautiful girls in Thailand imo). You can meet girls from Bangkok, Sukhothai, Chiang Rai and the Isaan region.

People come from all over Thailand to work here. So that is why Phuket still get a 5/5 rating from me.

Best ways to meet girls in Phuket is to sign up for Thai Cupid before you come here. That way you don’t have to waste any time when you are in paradise looking for girls when you just want to chill on the beach. You can also work up a little harem of girls that are ready to meet you here if you use Thai Cupid. If you don’t like the first girl, you have backup. 😀

Last time I was in Phuket I lived with a Thai girl that I met at Thai Cupid over in Phuket Town. I had a great time and when she had time of work, we went on road trips around the island and even took a 3 days trip to Singapore.


Tourist pussy

If a sweaty tourist pussy with a bikini line tan is your thing, you have a lot of opportunities at this island. Phuket is probably the most popular place in Thailand for tourists from the US and Europe. You will find a shit ton of nightclubs and bars that are catering to tourists only, much like Kaosan Rd in Bangkok.

However, if you really want to go crazy with the tourists, you should take the 5 our trip over to Koh Pha Ngan where the Full Moon and Half Moon parties are taking place. Here you have a much bigger concentration of farang pussy.




Where do we even start?? 😀 😀

The biggest concentration of bars and go-go bars with hookers are found at Bangla Rd in Patong west on the island. This place is simply madness and you could swim in pussy in this street alone for the rest of your life.

IMG_1031Some of the bar areas in Bangla Rd is at the size of hockey fields. Hundreds of bars with 10-15 girls in each bar, ready to entertain you at any moment. + all the gogo-bars and freelancers along the beach promenade.

Patong is simply nuts.

You also have minor girl bar areas in the other towns in Phuket such as Kata beach and Karon beach.

On the east side of the island there is not much going on that is catering to tourists, but you have some soapy massages that are catering to Thai men. Not to mention all the massage parlous where you could get a happy ending.


Party situation (6/5)

In Patong you will find whatever you are looking for. Chill bars, big nightclubs, lounges, beach parties and a lot more.

I will not go in to much detail about the nightlife in Phuket because I’m almost done with a big nightlife guide for Phuket. I will post the link here when I’m done. Stay tuned. 😀


Stuff to do (6/5)

This is what I love about Phuket, and why it is my absolute favorite place until now. You have an unlimited amount of stuff to do here. That combined with all the Thai girls that moves here to work in the tourist industry + the craziness of Bangla Rd makes it such a unique place in Thailand. Not to forget that it is a beautiful tropical island. You simply can’t run out of shit to do here.

Phuket is tourist destination nr 1 in Thailand. You can do all the normal tourist activities here. You have 3-4 amazing beaches here with all the typical tourist stuff. Paragliding, jet-skis, beach massage ++

Kata beach some kilometers south of Patong have perfect waves for beginner surfers. A lot of people come here to learn the basics.


Side trips

If you are staying in Phuket you have a lot of possibilities for side trips. If you want only a day trip away from Phuket you could go to Phang Nga national park or the islands Koh Yao Noi and Koh Yao Yai. Perfect places for day trips.

Koh Yao Noi have some of the most amazing beaches I have ever seen, and there are almost no tourists out there so you will get them by yourself. Bringing a Thai girl here that you found in Phuket would be really nice. There are some resorts out here that are really hidden and quiet, so if you want to stay more days you could. With or without a Thai girl.

If you want to see how rural Thailand is, without going far from Phuket, go to Koh Yao Yai. People are still living in huts out there and there are almost no establishments. This island doesn’t even have a 7/11, that is crazy because 7/11 is literary everywhere in Thailand. 😛

If you want to travel further, you should definitely check out Phi Phi and Koh Lanta. Perfect for 2-3 day trips. You could also take the boat over to Krabi and stay there some days.


Phuket International airport

Another awesome thing about staying in Phuket is the airport. If you stay here you don’t have to fly to Bangkok to get out of Thailand. Phuket have a ton of international flights. Singapore, Hong Kong, Siam Reap, Ho Chi Min to mention some of them. You can also fly to Pattaya and Chiang Mai directly from Phuket. Check Momondo for cheap flights.


Other stuff to do in Phuket

Here are some of my favorite things to do in Phuket:

Phuket shooting range – Shoot with guns, rifles, shot guns, machine guns ++. Really fun.
Big Buddha – Travel to the highest mountain in Phuket. There you will find a gigantic Buddha.
Thunk-Ka Café – Amazing view. You can see big parts of the island here while you eat.
Surfing at Kata beach – Perfect spot for beginners. 100 baht per day for surfing board.
Bang Wad Dam – A slightly chilled place perfect for jogging if you’re into that.


Rent motorbike

Average price for renting a motorbike at Phuket is 200 – 250 baht. Go explore every corner of this beautiful island. Good memories!


Cost of living (3/5)

Phuket is the most expensive place in Thailand. No wonder considering how popular this island is.

However. It’s mostly accommodation and transport that are expensive. If you can avoid that you could get by just as cheap as other places in Thailand.

Sign up at Thai Cupid, find a Thai girl that will let you stay in her apartment and maybe fuck you for free. There you just saved 4000 baht in accommodation and a hooker per night. 😀 Rent a motorbike and you won’t need to take taxis everywhere either, and stick with the 50 baht Thai food.

If you are lucky, like I was, the Thai girl that you are staying with have a motorbike that you can borrow for free. You see? There are always possibilities in Thailand. 😀

Another aspect of costs in Phuket is that it is so easy to spend money. The tourist areas are designed to suck money out of you. There are stuff to do, stuff to buy, stuff everywhere. 40 baht here, 40 baht there, before you know it you have burned off your entire budget.

In Patong there is a girl ready to suck your dick on every corner, and in the bars there are hot girls everywhere that really know how to suck every baht out of you.

If you are on a budget in Phuket you really need to have some self control, or you will run out of money before you know it.

Find a girl at Thai Cupid, stay with her. Avoid taxis, eat local food and have some self control in the tourist areas. If you can pull that off, you should be fine.


Safety (4/5)


Patong Hill Rd
Patong Hill Rd

Some of the roads in Phuket is fucking nuts. Especially the road from the airport to Patong. To get to Patong you have to drive over a hill. That road is steep as fuck and very heavily trafficked. A lot of buses have crashed in this hill road because of malfunctioning brakes etc.

I would never take a bus over that hill, so be careful. Take a taxi instead. It’s more expensive but who cares. Better to survive than saving money. 😛

Another road that is even more nuts is the mountain road up to Big Buddha. The crazy part is that BUSES are driving up that road. If you want to go up there, rent a motorbike and drive yourself. I would not trust a Thai driver with their “mai bpen rai” attitude in that hill for a million dollars.



Phuket is the biggest tourist destination in Thailand. A lot of money is flowing around and this will of course attract money hungry thugs.

Most of scams that are going on are simple crimes like theft and robbery. Nothing dangerous but still a bummer to lose all your money, especially if you are stupid enough to travel without travel insurance.

Scams should be simple to avoid as the thugs target mostly tourists that are wasted on alcohol. Just take it easy on the booze if you are traveling around alone. Don’t bring more money out than you need for a night.

There are been some cases where group of Thai thugs have beaten the shit out of tourists. My take on this is that the tourist did something to piss of the thugs. If you avoid being confrontational and loud you will most likely never be subject to their violence.



Thailand just had 11 bombs going off different places in south in under 24 hours. Two of these bombs went of in Phuket. I don’t know what to make out of this yet.

Bombs are going off regularly in south, but tourist towns have never been targeted before. This is something new. Lets hope the Thai police will find out what is going on, and lets hope that it never happens again.


All in all Phuket is a pretty safe place if you just watch out for the things I have already told you. Be nice, don’t be confrontational, relax and have fun. and you will be just fine. 😀



Phuket is absolutely my favorite place in the world right now. This is really an awesome place. You are on a tropical island that have everything a man can dream of. The crazy nightlife, more women you can ever handle, amazing food, first class shopping malls, the nature, the side trips, the wild life, beaches, diving, surfing, all kind of activities, amazing resorts, small hostels, awesome roads for motorbikes, mountain restaurants, monkeys, elephants  ++++.

You will never run out of shit to do here.

It comes for an price, but if you follow my tips about signing up for Thai Cupid and find a girl that you can stay with, show you around and fuck you for free. You can really say goodbye to whatever boring life you had before Phuket. 

Phuket is paradise! 😀

Total Score

Available girls:     6/5
Party situation:   6/5
Stuff do to:           6/5
Cost of Living:      3/5
Safety:                   4/5

Goodbye Boring Life Score: 

       25/ 25

BDSM and fetish sex in Bangkok

Here are some places in Bangkok where you can get the ‘little extra’. Do you like BDSM or do you have a fetish that you want to live out? BDSM and fetish sex in Bangkok is a big business.

Read on.

BDSM and fetish sex in Bangkok


Threesomes are probably the most common fantasy among men, so it’s not really that weird or kinky at all! 😀

If you want to bang a girl while you are spanking another one on the ass, or have two girls that are really into each other while you just enjoy watching, I totally understand you! I’ve had threesome two times in Thailand. One was really good, another one was not. I’ll tell you why in this post.

The Devil’s Den

If you want to have a threesome without doing any work for it you can go to this bar. It’s called ‘The Devil’s Den‘ and is located at Sukhumvit soi 7/1 just under Nana BTS station. At this bar you can take a minimum of two girls.

Rumors have it that the girl at this place is not exactly stunning 10’s. But I’ve been in the bar next door, and I have seen some really cute girls sitting outside The Devil’s Den.

Threesomes with some pre-work

Go to the popular nightclubs around Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket, and look for freelancers that are partying together. Chances are that both of them will go with you! If they are good friends they will probably be really into each other too! Jackpot!

Threesomes in the beer bars and Go-go bars

This one is tricky.

You can go inside a Go-go bar, talk with a girl, and ask her if she has a ‘good’ friend in the bar that she would like to go with. I did this one time but it was not a good experience. When I got them back to my hotel I banged one girl while the other one was sitting on the toilet texting with her friends. When I was done with the first girl, they simply swapped places. They never interacted! Boring 🙁

Escort girls

My second threesome was with escort girls.

I can just tell you right away. If you want an awesome threesome with some passion and sweat. Go for the escort ladies..! They will give you a full lesbian show, and when you are happy with just watching you can join the action! They will suck your dick on turns, and you can fuck one in doggy while she is eating the second girl’s pussy. It’s no limits!

These girls are high class and no bullshit. They have all shaved pussies and they will treat you like a celebrity.

When you are ready to shoot the money shot, they will take it like champions and make out with your cum everywhere. You will feel like a porn star!



BDSM / Bondage

If you don’t like threesomes, but want to whip girls while they are hanging upside down all tied up, you should check out these two bars:

The barbar

I went to this place in June 2016. It was actually a really fun place. The girls here really seems to enjoy being spanked and they did a great role play! You can rent private rooms were you can bring any of the girls for private shows, sex and role games. You can be the master or the slave. Up to you! 😀

It costs 900 baht for entrance, but for that you get one welcome drink and a show. The show was in the public room. ‘My’ show was one girl getting tied up in doggy style while she was whipped pretty hard by two other girls, ‘praying’ them to stop.

You can join the shows in the public room, and if you want to get tied up and whipped yourself they will gladly do it! I got whipped so hard on my ass that I was red for several days. 🙁

In the public room there is a wall full of equipment ( whips, canes, blindfolds, ropes, mouth gags and every thing else you can think of!).

If you go with a girl up to the private rooms you will have to agree to a safe word, if anyone says this you’ll have to stop whatever you are doing.

I asked for the price for one private room with one girl and equipment. The rate was 3600 baht. I did not go with a girl, but I asked to see the rooms. The rooms were fully equipped with bed, wall mounts, tables, chairs etc. Just like you see it in the porn movies. 😀 The room was very dimmed and all the lights were red.

You can also rent rooms here if you want to bring a girlfriend or someone with this fetish.
Demonia Fetish and BDSM Club Sukhumvit 33

This establishment is just like The BarBar. I can’t really say anything about it because I have not tested it out yet. See map for location.


Uniform / Role games 

If you want to do some serious role games with a girl in a quality costume, like a school girl or a nurse. I would also recommend the escort service’s. These girls really know what they are doing and you could get them to play along with whatever fantasy or role game that you want to play. Their English skills are awesome and there would never be any misunderstandings.

If you want to do any role game that includes play-coercion you would probably have to agree on a safe word. Because “stop” or “no” would be a part of the role play.



I will update this BDSM and fetish sex in Bangkok guide as soon as I learn more.

Send me 80.000 baht sweetheart

Hello guys! 😀

Today I will tell you the story about the biggest idiot I ever met in Thailand. 🙁

Okay, I didn’t actually meet him, but he sat next to me at the foot massage spot at Don Muang airport when I was going to Chiang Mai some time ago.

By the way. It’s not the guy in the picture above, but I think it’s a fitting picture for this story.

So basically. I was having a foot massage at the airport. Next to me was this big american dude that had a very personal phone conversation with a Thai slut.

The first 5 minutes they were just talking about normal stuff like what they were doing and how much they missed each other. From what I understood they had not known each other for very long, and something tells me that the guy had just left her, and that they had met for the first time this time.

Then the conversation turned to a much more awkward and serious note.

The girl basically said that she did not have any money, and that she really needed money because she had bills to pay. She said that she needed 80.000 baht within 5 days!!!!

First the dude just sat there in silence saying nothing while he was sweating like crazy. Then after 10 seconds or something he said “But sweetheart, we have talked about this. You know I can’t send you 80.000 baht, you have to wait until I have worked up some money back home”.

You could just hear on this mans voice and tone that he was so fucking in love and so needy. He was so afraid to lose this slut that he would have done anything.

I heard the girl crying through his phone, but I could also here that it was fake as fuck. She was not sad in a sincere way at all. The guy was just stupid and did not understand that.

For the next 30 minutes, this american dude and the Thai girl was arguing back and forth about the 80.000 baht. The girl was crying, being angry, being sweet on turns. She tried all the tricks in the book.

The dude finally gave in and said that he would call his MOTHER!!! to ask for a loan.

I’m sure the girl was jumping in happiness at the other side of that phone. Totally owning this guy. She basically had him by the balls because this dude was sweating like there was no tomorrow.

What a fucking looser… I wanted to talk with him when he hang up with ‘his girl’, but for what purpose? He would probably just be angry and go straight in defense mode.

I could understand just the way that girl was talking that the girl was a bar girl. The words she was using and the way she was talking gave it away. Good girls don’t talk like that, bar girls and gold diggers do.

He basically just sent 80.000 baht to a fucking slut that will fuck a new dude every night while he is not around.

She probably have 4 other losers like him whenever she needs money. Then she just call them up and gets free money. Like this girl.


So the lesson for this story has to be, DONT BE A FUCKING MORON LIKE THIS GUY.

I’m not saying that you should not send money to your girl. If you found a girl that you like, and you can afford to send her money. Do it!

All I’m saying is don’t send it if you can’t fucking afford it. Don’t call your mother to ask for money for a girl that you met in a BAR. How retarded are you?

And why would you send a girl money anyways? Can you fuck the girl if you send her money? Can you touch her, feel her, be with her or do anything with her? No, you can’t. Why not just save up those money for yourself, and spend it on your next trip to Thailand?

There will be a million other Poi’s waiting for you down here if the first one ditched you because you didn’t send her money. Don’t be so fucking clingy and needy.

I know it’s hard if you just came to Thailand for the first time. You have spent your entire life back in the US or EU with masculine fat women, then you suddenly are overrun with sweet feminine women that will do anything for you!

I know it can be an overwhelming feeling. But please don’t think with your dick, and don’t send girls money just because you want to fuck them again in 6 months. It’s not worth it. You will meet a new girl on your next trip that is just as good or maybe even better!


Why dating sites works so well in Thailand

Hello guys! 😀

In this post I will just give my thoughts about why I think dating sites works so fucking well in Thailand, and why the stream of girls ready to bang you never seems to end… I’m not talking about hookers here now guys, but girls that are looking for fun, friends, giiks (fuckfriends), and boyfriends.

Just regular Thai people who are looking for fun.


View on dating sites: Western world vs Thailand

Dating sites in the Western world is not nearly as popular as it is in Thailand. In some countries it’s even a little bit taboo and shady to even have it and if you get busted while you are sitting on a dating site, it can almost be embarrassing.

This is not the situation in Thailand, and almost all girls over here have an account at some kind of dating site. It is so acceptable that if you look around in buses and sky trains around in Bangkok, you will see that a lot of girls will be sitting on some kind of dating site texting with foreigners.

When was last time you saw a Western women back in for example England on a dating site out in public? Probably never, because almost no one in the Western world is using dating dates.

I think there are several reasons for why dating sites have become so popular and accepted in Thailand relative to the Western world. Here are some of them:

Reason 1: Work hours

Thai people work long days. Some up to 10-12 hours 6 days a week. When someone is working that many hours it is obvious that there is not much leisure time for flirting. On their day off they are tired and most of them just want to relax at home in front or their TV, smart phone or maybe visit family.

Dating sites is a perfect way for Thai girls to get to know new people while they are working long hours. If you’ve ever been to Thailand you have probably noticed that there is always a ton of people on work, but almost no one is doing anything?

Yeah.. Thai people have a lot of spare time to do whatever they want while they are at work.

When I think about it, whenever I ask a girl on Thai Cupid what she is doing, most of them answer “workiiiingggg”. 😛

Reason 2: Money

It’s easy to think that Thailand is a cheap country, and that doing stuff here is so easy and affordable. But remember that most Thai people have an average monthly income at around 15.000 baht (450 USD). Some people have even less to play around with than that.

After paying rent, electricity, internet and other debt there is not much play room to go out and have fun in the bars and restaurants. Especially not in the ones tourists hangs out in with tourist prices.

This is where dating sites comes in handy because for Thai girls, it’s free to sign up and they can get to know people without spending a dime.

Reason 3: It’s socially acceptable

This one I have already mentioned. In Thailand it is completely normal to be on these sites. I’ve seen hotel girls at work playing around with their phone while talking about pictures of foreign men at Thai Cupid. That would never happen over in Western Europe, but here it’s nothing weird about it.


Sign up!

Online dating is a fucking goldmine and if you sign up for one of them you will get so much attention and dates that you wont believe it. Especially if you’re white.

At Thai Cupid you can sign up for free, then you can have a look at the buffet. I don’t remember if you can actually talk with girls without membership (have had membership for 3 years now). I think you can, but there is like a 15 min delay or something like that. Maybe you can tell me in the comment section?

Thai Cupid have over 1 million members. I’m just saying… 😀

Do you want to spend 30.000 baht on 6 hookers when you come to Thailand, or spend 1000 baht for a membership on Thai Cupid? With that you can create a little harem of girls that are ready to meet and fuck you when you arrive Thailand..

Should be a pretty easy choice if you ask me… 😀

Pro tips:

  • Always take a good look at the girl’s pictures. Some girls use Photoshop to make them look better than they do in reality. Watch out for pictures that are blurred or pixelated.
  • The girl does not have a picture of her body? She’s probably fat!
  • Ask for her Facebook, then you can see what she’s doing in her sparetime.
  • If you have her on Facebook, you can make a video calls! That is golden, because then you get a feel for how she is!




Thailand Sex Guide for beginners

So you are planning a trip to Thailand for the first time and you just found this post? I’ll tell you everything you’ll need to know in this Thailand Sex Guide to have a lot of sex in Thailand.

That way you don’t have to waste any time on your sex holiday in Thailand. 🙂

My goal in this post is to make a rundown of all different places you can find female company in Thailand. How the different places work. And of course, what you have to do to end up with a little stunner in your bed.

This guide will mostly focus on the P4P scene, so if you’re not interested in that I’ve written a lot about regular dating here.

Want to get laid with Thai girls for free? Check out this post.

This Thailand Sex Guide is updated for 2017.

Thailand Sex Guide

Bar girl in Pattaya
Bar girl in Pattaya

1: Online dating in Thailand
.  1.1 Smooci
2: Expressions
3: Establishments
.  3.1 Go-go bars
.  3.2 Beer Bars
.  3.3 Short-time Bars
.  3.4 Massage Parlors
.  3.5 Soapy Massage
.  3.6 Escort Service
.  3.7 Freelancers
4: Is Thailand a safe place to have fun with girls?
5: Always build report with the girl
5: Don’t fall in love

Intro Sex in Thailand

I will assume that you have never been in Thailand, and don’t know anything about how the red lights of Thailand work.

By the way, if you are looking for planning and costs for a sex holiday. You can check out this guide.

Bar girls in Pattaya
Bar girls in Pattaya

Here I tell you how much money you’ll have to bring, and I even make a budget for you. Make sure to check that post out too!

As I have said earlier here and here. Thailand is still pussy paradise nr. 1, and if you want to have sex with a lot of women, or just find one little stunner that you can spend your vacation with, you should absolutely go to Thailand..! 😀


Online dating

Before I start this Thailand Sex Guide, I will just tell you one free way to get laid in Thailand. You can save a lot of money if you take this route above hookers.

Thai Cupid and Thai Friendly are two great dating sites to find free sex in Thailand. You can sign up now, and get in touch with hundreds of girls instantly.

Why does online dating work so well?

I’ve already written about that in this post. So I wont go into the details here.

Thai girls have heard legends of white men with big dicks and thick wallets sweeping girls up online. The next three months the girl have uploaded photos of herself on Facebook from ten different countries all over the world, as the guy took her for a trip.

Thai girls are not on online dating sites to meet Thai men. Thai men are notorious womanizers, and a hot girl will be hit on several times a day in her daily life by Thai men. So if you meet a girl online, you know she’s looking for foreigners.



It isn’t exactly online dating, but it’s one of the quickest and easiest ways to get laid online in Thailand (currently it’s only available in Bangkok, but they are expanding soon).

www.smooci.com is an instant companion booking platform which lets you live search 100s of local Escorts and independent girls, with the ability to see customer rating scores and make instant bookings, and having a girl at your room in just a few simple clicks.

The prices are very competitive, and just about as low as you’ll find in Bangkok, and you can even track your girl all the way to your hotel room door with their live GPS tracking system, Uber style.


Expressions used in this guide

Before we start this Thailand sex guide, let me explain the most common expressions used in the red lights of Thailand.

Barfine: A fee you have to pay the bar to take the girl out of the bar.
Short-time: Taking a girl short time. Usually one shot back at your hotel or in a short-time hotel.
Long-time: Taking a girl for the entire night, and the following day until she’ll go back to work.

Fishbowl: A room full of ladies with a glass in between you and the girls. Normally fund at the soapy massage parlors.
Butterfly: A person that have sex with, or mix between many different sex partners.
Mongering: Someone that are doing the activity of finding a hooker to have sex with.
Bar bell: A bell inside the gogo bars and beer bars. If you ring the bell you will buy a drink to the entire bar. Never ring in this bell for fun or if you don’t have the money.
Shot: How many times you can cum.


Where to buy sex in Thailand?

So… There are basically 7 different places that you can go to in Thailand to rent pussy. Those places are go-go bars, beer bars, short-time bars, massage parlors, soapy massage parlors, escort and freelancers.

If you don’t want to go with a hooker, but actually find a ‘real’ women that will have sex with you for free, I have you covered already. Check out this post about how you can get any Thai girl, or check out this post about where you can meet girls in Thailand.



Go-go bars

Walking Street in Pattaya

Go-go bars are found many places in Thailand. But they are in the biggest concentration in cities like Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket. Here you have districts full of go-go bars. If you want to have a beer while you are watching girls in bikini dance in front of you, you should absolutely check out the go-go bars.



  • The girls are dancing in a bikini and sometimes naked. You get a really good look at their bodies. That way you know that it’s nothing ‘wrong’ with her when you get her back to the room.
  • The hottest hookers of Thailand are usually working in the go-go bars, so if you want a hot girl without looking all around the town, you should probably just hit up a go-go bar.



  • Go-go bars are usually the most expensive place to lease a pussy. Bar fine is usually twice as much as in the nearby beer bars. The girls also charge more than in the beer bars, especially if she’s a stunner!
  • The music is pretty loud in these places and it’s a high energy place. If you want to know your girl before you bang her, you should probably not go to the go-go bars. If you like the high energy, let yourself loose in a go-go bar. 😀


How it works: 

When you enter a go-go, an employee will usually escort you to an available seat. She will ask you if you want something to drink. In some go-go bars you will sit alone until you choose a lady, but in some places a lady will come to you and introduce her self. This is usually not creme de la creme of the girls available in the bar.

If you don’t like the girl who introduces herself, don’t waste your time with her just to end up buying lady drinks. These girls know how to play your feelings, and it’s hard to ditch one girl for another girl that you think much hotter.

Okay. So if you are still sitting alone, and you see a girl that you like, all the girls have numbers on either their hips or their shoulders. Just call a waiter and tell them that you want to speak with number X.

Number X will then come to you, sit next to you and introduce herself. She will also ask for a lady drink as you are using her time. This is something you have to buy, or you risk that she is leaving you or not be has happy as she can be.

If you like the girl, and you want to put your happy stick in her honey pot. You simply ask her what her price is. She will then tell her price for short time and long time and how much the bar wants in barfine.

If you want to do some special stuff. Like anal sex, role games or give her a face paint. This is a good time to ask her what she goes along with.

After you have given the money for the barfine to the bar, the girl will go inside the wardrobe and change to normal clothes. When she comes back she’s yours for the night.

Top 3: Go-go bars in Bangkok
Top 3: Go-go bars in Pattaya


Beer bars

Beer-bars in Thailand

Beer bars can be found everywhere in Thailand. Even in the smallest village out in Isaan you will find something. They are the symbol on Thailand’s sex industry. In Pattaya alone there are over 2000 beer bars, with an average of 5-10 girls ready to entertain you.



  • They are cheaper than the go-go bars and they still have a lot of sexy girl. You just have to look around slightly more before you find something that catch your eye.
  • Usually a more laid back vibe that I personally like more than the go-go bars.
  • Easier to speak with the girls and get a feel for how she is.
  • Will give you the GFE (girl friend experience) much more than in the go-go bars.



  • I don’t really have anything bad to say about the beer bars. I really love ’em. 😀


How it works: 

When you enter a beer bar there will be sitting a lot of girls both in the bar and behind the bar. Usually all of them can be barfined. To go with a girl you simply ask her what she wanted for the deal, and if you agree, she’s yours. 😀

Some girls will ask for a lady drink if you talk with them for a long time. But beer bar girls are usually much more laid back about this than the girls in the go-go bars.

Just to be polite I always give the bar girls a lady drink, or tip, if I talk with them longer then 10 minutes. A lot of these girls are smart and funny, and their job is to entertain you. So if you had a great time, but did not barfine her, give her a lump of money. 😀

Beer Bars in Pattaya
Beer Bars in Chiang Mai


Short-time bars

Short-time bars in Thailand

Short-time bars are very similar to the beer-bars, in that it is a bar with a lot of available girls hanging around. The only difference is that they have rooms in the upper floors of the bars where you can bring the girl.


  • Straight to business. No hassle with barfines or bringing the girl back to your hotel.
  • No risk that she steals your stuff or that she drugs you.
  • Much cheaper than the go-go bars and beer-bars.
  • The girls here are the least shy girls, and a lot of them are wild as fuck.


How it works: 

You enter a short-time bar, sit down and order a beer. Some short-time bars are outdoor bars with a open view to the street, while other bars are hidden from the street and with air-con.

When you have found the girl that you like, you simply ask her to go upstairs with you, and she will go with you. When you get upstairs she will take a shower, and sometimes you will take shower together while she warm you up with a blowjob in the shower.

The going rate in most short-time bars in Thailand is 1000 – 1300 baht. That is all-inclusive. Room, sex, barfine, shower and you’ll ever need. That is a pretty good deal if you ask me. Some of these girls are wild as fuck, and will give you a good time.

The most famous street in Thailand for short-time bars are soi 6 in Pattaya.

Short-time Bars in Pattaya
Short-time Bars in Bangkok


Massage parlors 

Massage in Thailand

Knowing what massage parlor that offer extras can be tricky at times. A good rule to follow is that the closer a massage parlor is to a red light district, the more likely it will be that they have extra stuff on the menu. Another good thing to look for, is how loud the girls yell for you!



  • Much cheaper than the go-go bars and beer bars. The average price all over Thailand is about 500 baht for a hand job and 1000 baht for a blowjob.
  • Relative discreet. You don’t have to walk around with a hooker, register her in your hotel front desk etc.
  • Some of these girls really know how to suck dick, and they take the money shot like champions.


How it works: 

If you walk past a massage parlor, and you see a skunk that you like, simply say to the girl that you want her to massage you. If you take oil massage you will be completely naked with just a towel over your broomstick (easy access for the girl).

In some of the most dirty massage parlors they wont even let you out before they have sucked out all the juice from your balls (if you want to know what I mean, go to Sukhumvit soi 23 behind Soi Cowboy in Bangkok) Those girls are fucking nuts!

Some girls will be very out front about giving you a happy ending, other girls will just tap on your dick with a funny look in their face, while others you have to ask.

Massage Parlors in Bangkok


Soapy massage parlors

Soapy Massage in Thailand

These establishments are found all around Thailand. Some of them are huge and even have a kitchen where you can have food served to your room while you bang away on your temporary sex toy.

These places are mostly visited by Thai men, but foreigners are welcome also.



  • Some of these parlors have unbelievable sexy girls. I once went to a soapy massage in Bangkok and I could not believe my eyes!
  • No bullshit! You go inside, pay, fuck, leave. No lady drinks or bar fines. Tipping is up to you!


How it works:

When you enter a soapy massage you will usually see a fishbowl full of girls. Some parlors also have freelancers that just sits around in the lobby. You walk around, look at the girls, and when you have found one that catch your eyes, you call a waiter and ask to talk with her.

The girls inside the fishbowl will have number’s on them, while the freelancers will not, but they are in the lobby, so you can just go over and talk with them.

When the girl that you selected have introduced herself, it is really up to you want you want to do. You could go straight to the rooms upstairs, or you could sit down and talk for 5 minutes (this is a good time to ask her what she goes along with if you want to do some special stuff).

When it’s time to go up, the girl will bring you to the cashier, there you will pay for all the fun, and she will escort you to an available room.

What happens in the room? 

In the room there is a big bed and a big baht tub. The girl will fill up the bath tub. When the bath tub is full you will jump inside together. She will start to massage you with oils and soap. Some girls will even give you a body-to-body massage (that is fucking awesome!!).

When you feel that you can’t hold it anymore, and just need to empty your balls in her, you tell her, and you jump inside the bed to have som bed fun. 😀

Soapy Massage in Bangkok


Escort services

Escort services are found all around the world, so you probably already know how that works. The good part about escort services is that it can be completely discreet. You don’t even have to leave your hotel room because you can just call up an escort service and have a girl sent to your room.

Another good thing with the escort services is that you know what you get! If you go with a bar girl or a go-go girl you never really know what she goes along with. She might say that she gives blowjob, but when you cum in her face she freaks out and run to the toilet to wash her face. That will not happen with an escort lady, they are 100% professional and will take your load like champions.



Then you have the freelancers. The street girls that work on their own. They can be found a lot of places in Thailand, but mostly in Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket. In Pattaya there is a shit load of them along beach road.


  • They are dirt cheap! You can get a shag for 500 baht if you know what you are doing
  • No barfines, lady drinks or other bullshit like that. Straight to business!



Some freelancers work on the street because they like it that way. But not all. Some have been kicked out their bar because of bad behavior or because they got busted with HIV. Be careful with freelancers.

Freelancers in Bangkok


Thailand is really something unique!

Bar-girl dancing in bar
Good times! 😀

Mongering in Thailand is a fun activity 99.9% of the time, and you will most likely never encounter any problems.

You will probably be very surprised when you discover the vibe in Thailand’s red lights is nothing like you have ever seen elsewhere in the world.

While red lights in most of the world are something ‘dirty’ and ‘shady’, something that is hidden away in a far out district in a bad neighborhood of a town.

In Thailand, it is completely open, and there is almost no dirty or shameful vibe over it. The hookers will be happy, have lots energy and give you the best time of your life.

If you want to read more about costs and what you need to plan for a sex vacation in Thailand. Check out this post.


Is Thailand a safe place to have fun with girls?

Many guys asks me if Thailand really is safe. They read about people getting stabbed to death by local thugs and tourists dying in traffic accidents almost daily.

To that I will say. Thailand is a safe place if you use your head. With that I mean:

  1. Always respect the local people, culture and authorities.
  2. Never become too drunk. Thugs target drunk people
  3. Never be confrontational
  4. Pay your bills
  5. Be careful in the traffic

If you can follow those five steps there is a 99.999% you will get home without any issues. I’ve been in Thailand for many years now and I haven’t had a single issue yet. On the other hand I have friends who have been here on vacation several times who always ends up in some kind of trouble. It’s all about your attitude.

The majority of the hookers you will come across will be very honest, kind, and go out-of-the-way to make you happy. They will be your girlfriend for the night and you will have the time of your life. But sometimes you can come across a rotten egg.

Here are some steps you can do to keep yourself safe around hookers:

  1. Never go with a girl that you suspect are on drugs. They will probably be fun to be with while they’re high, but then the drugs fade out (in your hotel room), they can turn into a nightmare.
  2. Be very careful when you go with freelancers, especially if you bring them back to your hotel. If they steal from you, you have no bar to go back to for a complaint.
  3. If you suspect in any way that a girl can become trouble, dump her. You don’t want that trouble inside your hotel room. Thai people are extremely bad at dealing with conflicts, nobody will help you.


How to keep your valuables safe at the hotel while you have visit:

Money, credit cards, passport and small cameras are easy to keep safe. Just put it inside your hotel safe when you come back to the hotel with your temporary girlfriend. Big stuff like laptops and DSLR cameras might not fit inside a hotel safe.

Here is what you do: Always make the girl shower first. When she is done with the shower, make sure her handbag and clothes stays inside the bathroom when it’s your turn to shower. If she want to steal from you, she will have to run out of the hotel in a towel with your laptop and camera. That will never happen.

Always keep to the deal

Never try to run away from what you owe a girl. Always make sure that you enough money to pay. Some girls have ‘money collectors’ that will make sure that you pay, and it won’t be pleasant for you. Here is one of them.

You can haggle the price of a girl if you think that she’s overcharging you. But don’t be too upfront about it. What I usually do is to say that I will give her the price she wants, if she does an outstanding job. If she fails to do that, I will give her 500 baht less, or something like that.

That way you make sure that she tries her best, but if she fails, you saved 500 baht.

Sometimes you will hear girls say “up to you” when you ask for her price. Never go with a girl with that “up to you” deal. When you are done with her she can suddenly say that she wants 4000 baht. What do you do then?


Always build report with the girls

Just because you’re paying the girl to have sex with you doesn’t mean she will automatically give you the most amazing night ever.

Like every other girl you need to warm her up. You need to make her comfortable. These girls are human beings with feelings just like girls who don’t sell sex.

In fact, the girls take a big chance every time they go with a new guy to a hotel. Most guys are physical stronger than woman. If something should happen, like the guy turning out to be an abusive cunt, she can’t do much about it there and then apart from trying to escape.

Make her feel safe around, it will be much easier for her to relax and have fun too.

I’ve met so many guys down here who just get drunk, then they go inside a nightclub or gogo bar, pick a girl, then go straight to a short time hotel without talking anything with the girl. I see it every time I go to a gogo bar.

Then later they complain about the girl not giving him the amazing time that he read about online before they came to Thailand.

So what do I mean by build report?

You need to find out what the girl is about. Ask her her name, where is she from in Thailand? What is her interests? How long has she been working here? What food does she like?

Warm here up and get some chemistry going!

Tell a little bit about yourself too, and if you have kinky stuff that you want to do with the girl, now its a good time to ask about that. Don’t be shy, they have heard everything before.

If you don’t have chemistry with the girl… 

… you’re most likely never going to have a good time with her. She will do very little to please you, and you wont like being around her either as she’s not the happy and fun girl you’d would like her to be.

I rather go with a 8 I have good chemistry with, than a 10 that’s just a pain in the ass being around.



Don’t be that moron who falls in love with a bar girl. I know it’s hard when you just came from the sex prison of the US or the EU with fat and masculine woman, then suddenly are in the situation where you have a hot little stunner in your lap that will suck your dick with passion and fold your clothes with a smile right after. It’s like being in a parallel universe.

The moment you start to fall in love with the bar girl, she will tell you a heartbreaking story about how much she hate her job, and all the horrible stuff she have to do with customers.

This might be true on some occasions, but for the most part it’s just made up bullshit to make you open up your wallet.

I don’t mean to sound like a heartless whore monger here. I’m just realistic.

Fact is, most bar girls love their life. They can sleep late every day, they can be lazy, no one tells them what to do. They party hard every night and meet interesting guys from all over the world that pays for everything they do. It’s a myth that only fat old ugly guys rent pussy.

Hot girls can make up to 50.000 – 60.000 baht per month. That’s three times more than an average employee with a bachelor degree. The hottest hookers can make up to 400.000 baht if she’s in the right social circles and know how to deal her cards.

A lot of girls do this job for some years, then they have saved up enough money to invest in a business or real estate.

So. I will say it clear and loud one last time:


I could tell you countless of horror stories involving relationships between foreigners and bar girls. The truth is that 99.9% of them don’t give a shit about you, and they never will. The moment you fly out of Thailand, another fly in.

These girls are professional players just like us. They know exactly what kind of buttons to push to make you feel special so you open your wallet for them. And if you never had any luck with hot women back home, it can be an overwhelming feeling.

Yes. These girls live rough lives and most of them would probably not do this job if they had good alternatives. I’m not trying to sound like a heartless asshole here.

If you absolutely want to go further with a bar girl, and you think you have something going on. Progress really fucking slow with her. I’m talking about months, maybe even years here…

No need to send her 20.000 baht as soon as you come home. Take it slow and see what happens. If she gets pushy with money fast you know she just exploits you. If she only want to talk and be in your company, maybe she actually likes you and want to be with you. But be careful.

But in general. Have fun for the night and when the morning comes, wake up from the dream. Thank the girl for a fun night and say GOODBYE. It’s not real and 99.9% of these girls just look at you as a walking ATM machine.

I recommend you reading the book “The Key Logger: A Forbidden Glimpse into the True Nature of Women“. It provides a peek into girls life when they are not with their boyfriends. The stories are eye opening and you’ll see that even the most innocent cute girl can be a devil in disguise. Don’t be naive guys.

If you are looking for a ‘real’ girl that actually cares about you, and don’t see you as a walking ATM machine. You are much better off signing up for Thai Cupid or Thai Friendly. There are a ton of girls on these sites that don’t want your money, but are looking for real relationships and friendships.

A lot of girls moves away from their family in their 20’s to find work in the bigger cities. Many of them are lonely, then sign up for a dating site to look for friends and love.

I’ve already written a lot about dating in Thailand. See this page.

Feel free to ask questions in the comment field if you want to know something specific. If you have 10.000 questions check out this post.

How to save money in Thailand

Thailand is a pretty cheap country to travel around in compared to many Western countries.

The ‘problem’ with Thailand is that it is so god damn many temptations sneaking around every corner, that you end up spending a lot of money anyways.

Not only that, if you are in the bigger tourists areas you can’t walk 2 meters without someone trying to sell you something, or that there is some kind of business that are selling services or shit you don’t need.

Here are Goodbye Boring Life’s 12 methods of saving money in Thailand.

1: Get to know some local people

You’ll be surprised to see what kind if prices the locals pay for the same services and stuff as you do when you are walking around alone.

Let me give you some ridiculous examples:

  • I once paid 120 baht from Nana BTS station to Terminal 21 in Bangkok with motorbike taxi. When I was with a Thai person some time later I paid 30 baht for the same distance.
  • I paid 600 baht for a guesthouse at Koh Pha Ngan when I came here without knowing anyone. As soon as I got to know a local girl through Thai Cupid at the same island, I paid400 baht for the same guesthouse, AND she picked me up at the pier for free.
  • When you are with a local girl in Bangkok, the taxi drivers will never try to drive you for a fixed price, they will always use the meter without arguing.
  • I once paid 150 baht for a dish at a local restaurant in Phuket. When I was in another, but similar restaurant in Phuket with a Thai girl I only paid 50 baht.

Not only that, if you know a local. They always know where to get good cheap food. You won’t risk being ripped off in the local restaurants and she know how to get from A to B fast, effectively and cheap.

If you went to a local restaurant on Monday with a local girl, and you come back alone on Wednesday, they will still give you the local price.

Some more advanced tricks if you are a complete player like myself: 

Chat up a bunch of girls all around Thailand on Thai Cupid. Some of them will invite you over to their apartment, in other words, free accommodation..! (Btw, if you do this with good girls you are indirectly saying that you want a relationship with them, especially if you have sex with them when you sleep over).

But nothing is stopping you from just disappearing some days later, right? 🙂

I’ve done this a million times and saved a ton of money on accommodation. I once stayed with a girl for 3 weeks in Bangkok, and we had awesome sex every night. She wanted to push the relationship further, but I made it clear that I was not ready for that yet. She still hangs around and I meet her once in a while.  And I always live for free i Bangkok if I want that. 😀

Just be friends

You could also just make it clear from the beginning that you just want to be friends, and not have sex with her, but that is not nearly as fun as the first option. Nothing sucks more than to sleep next to a naked girl with a boner because you didn’t have sex with her, trying to jerk off without waking her up. Trust me, been there, done that.


2: Don’t eat Western Food

Western food is always more expensive than Thai food. Not only that, if you don’t know where to go to eat Western Food, it will probably taste like shit because most Thai people have no idea how to make Western food. This is especially true if you are outside the biggest tourist destinations (that the food taste like shit).

Eat local food. It’s delicious, mostly healthy and dirt cheap!

You can eat your steak when you get back home. 🙂


3: Buy a Thai sim card

Want to use 3G and 4G without getting a million dollar bill when you get home? Sim cards can be bought for 300 baht at almost every 7/11 in Thailand. Remember to bring your passport, or they won’t sell you the sim card.

When your out of credit you can top up at every 7/11 and most of the shopping malls in the phone shops.


4: Take an overnight bus or train

Okay, don’t take the overnight buses. They suck because it is impossible to sleep in a bus. However, the trains are pretty comfy if you take a sleeper train with actual beds. The shaking from the train makes me super sleepy and I sleep like a newborn baby.

That way you save one night at hotel or hostel unless you have a Thai girl to sleep with for free. If you have that, don’t bother with sleeper trains and just jump on a flight.


5: Take out big stacks of money

Every time you take out money in a ATM you have to pay a stupid fee on 200 baht. Those 200 bahts are dinner for 4 days at a local Thai restaurant if you know were to go, or are with a Thai girl.

I usually take out 50.000 baht every time I go to the ATM here. Use ATM’s that are connected to a bank, and always take out in the day time. That way if something happens with the ATM and you don’t get your card back, you can just stroll into the bank and ask them to open the ATM.

If you use an ATM out in nowhere, you will never get that card back.


6: Rent a motorbike

Don't pay for stuff you didn't do!
Don’t pay for stuff you didn’t do!

If you are at places like Phuket, Pattaya, Chiang Mai or any of the islands. Rent a motorbike if you are planning to go around to see stuff. Motorbikes usually costs between 150 to 250 baht per day all over Thailand.

In Phuket for example taxis are expensive as fuck, and you will almost never get a taxi for under 300-400 baht no matter how short you are going.

Just remember to inspect the bike for damages before you leave the shop. Or they might blame you for the damage when you deliver it back. Take pictures of all damages.

Some shops have a paper where they will write down all the scratches and bulks before you go, but I would still take pictures just to be sure.


7: Haggle

If you are a tourist, and happen to be in the tourist areas of Thailand, you will have to pay tourist prices on all the stuff you are going to buy. Most Thais in the tourist areas just see a walking ATM machine when a tourist comes along.

Haggle! The prices are sky-high and don’t be surprised that they have a 600% profit margin on some of the shit they sell. They will probably sell it for a 200% profit margin too! So make sure to haggle like crazy.

8: Don’t leave tips

Thais don’t tip among them self, so why should you? Tips are not expected in Thailand so no one will think bad of you. I know this can sound kind of cheap depending on where you’re from, but this is just another way of saving money.

I just tip in Thailand if the service or the food was fucking outstanding!


9: …aaaand don’t tip the hookers

I know it’s hard to say no when they are coming with that little cute smile and their innocent Bambi eyes asking for a 300 baht tip for the taxi home just after you to shot a massive load straight in their face.

But let’s be real. The deal was 1000 baht, so that’s what she’s getting. She will probably give you a angry face, but why do you care? She’s out of the door in 10 seconds anyway!


10: …or don’t go with hookers at all!

This one might be challenging for a lot of studs out there, but chat up a lot of Thai girls at Thai Cupid before you go Thailand, and have sex with them for free when you arrive Thailand.

This one can save you a shit ton of money if you have the slightest amount of game.


11: Buy the cheapest water in 7/11

There is a million different types of water in 7/11. First time I was in Thailand I didn’t even bother to look at the prices, but you can actually save some money here.

0.5 liters of Evian water costs 50 baht, 0.5 liters of Singha water costs 7 baht. You won’t taste any difference. That is 43 baht saved every time you buy water.

If you drink 4 liters of water per day, you save 344 baht every day! After three weeks in Thailand that is 7224 baht saved (200 $). That is 7.2 hookers in soi 6, Pattaya. 😀


12: Don’t get fined by the Thai police

This one is easier said than done, because if they want money, they will get it somehow. Thai police make very little money and are dependent on money from traffic controls to top up their wages.

Just always remember to wear a helmet, that way they will not stop you if you drive by a random police officer. Also, remember your ID and driving licence if you have one.

If you don’t have helmet, or a licence, or ID, you will probably have to pay them 500 baht per violation. A total of 1500 baht.

Know more ways to save money in Thailand? Write it in the comment section and let everyone know! 😀




How to plan a perfect vacation in Thailand

What’s up guys? Tim here again from Thailand. 😀

Another day in Paradise just passed by and I just had a really interesting conversation with a gentleman from Mexico here at Koh Tao.

We were discussing that no matter what your reason for going to Thailand is, there is something for everyone. And that is really true!

20160615_153249Every time I meet a new person down here it’s always interesting to hear why they’ve come to Thailand because everyone have different reasons. Sometimes I even say “Can you even do that in Thailand?”, because I had no idea it was possible here, whatever it is.

Some guys come here to beat their old record with how many hookers they put their dick in last time, others some here for the crazy farang parties at Khaosan Rd, or the full moon / half moon down in south.

Others come here to see breathtaking temples, old ruins or to trek deep in the jungle up in north. I’ve even met a dude that was planning to become a munk!

Then you have all the men that comes here to find girlfriends or a wife, because as I have said earlier, Western women sucks, and you should not date them.

There is really something for everyone down here.

In this post my goal is to give you an idea of where you should travel in Thailand, depending on what your purpose of visit are. 

One thing I do recommend for every one that is coming to Thailand whatever reason is to stay in Bangkok 2-3 days on arrival. This is because if you come all the way from EU or US, you will have a terrible jet-lag and feel exhausted after the long flight.

Rushing it in the beginning is not smart, and can make you exhausted or give you a bad head start on your trip making you feel tired for many more days than if you just took it easy in the beginning.

When I came Thailand on vacations. I always took 3 days in Bangkok. This was also a good opportunity to get custom made shirts and suits started, and made, while I traveled all around Thailand.

I also recommend that you stay in one place at least a week. That way you can get a good feel for the place, and start to know what you have to do to have a good time at that location. If you change location every second day you will spend almost all of you vacation on a bus, train or in airports / flights. Because stuff don’t happen fast in Thailand.


Route 1: Whore mongering

If your purpose of coming to Thailand is to just have sex with a lot of different girls just to dump them when your balls are drained. There are really just three locations that should concern you.

That is Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket.

You could stay in Bangkok 2-4 days on arrival just to get rid of the jetlag. Check out all the famous red-light districts like Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza, Patpong and all the soapy massage parlors up in Huai Khwang along Ratchadaphisek Rd. 

PattayaFrom there on you have a couple of alternatives, you could go to Pattaya or Phuket. Phuket is one hour away with airplane while Pattaya is 2 hours away with bus.

Chiang Mai could also be an alternative. However, I have to be honest, the mongering scene there is pretty sad at the moment and if you are staying more than 1 week you will run out of hot women.

All the hot girls go to Pattaya, Bangkok or Phuket anyways because they can make much more money there.

If you are coming to Thailand for more than three weeks, you could also mix it up by staying one week in Pattaya, then take an airplane from Pattaya to Phuket. Stay in Phuket for one week. Then airplane from Phuket back to Bangkok when you are going home.

Pattaya and Phuket are both party towns, and you could stay here a million years without running out of hot hookers ready to empty your balls.


Side trips in Pattaya

If you need a brake from the mongering or feel an urge to do some exploring. There are some alternatives in Pattaya for that. You could go to Koh Larn, a small island just an hour away with boat from Pattaya.

If you need a complete break from Pattaya and sleep a complete new place you could take the bus down to Koh Chang or Koh Samet.


Side trips in Phuket

Phuket have a lot to offer when it comes to side trips and exploring. Good if you want to take some pictures that you can send home so people don’t think the only thing you have been doing is banging hookers and get your dick dried out in the massage parlors. 😀

You really need to check out the islands Koh Phi Phi, Koh Lanta and Pileh Lagoon. Then you have the national park Phang-Nga just north of Phuket, a very beautiful place.

If you want to have a look at how “real” Thailand is, without going far from Phuket. You can check out the islands Koh Yao Noi and Koh Yao Yai. Those islands have very little tourist development and people are still living in huts out there. Koh Yao Noi actually have a lot of beautiful beaches, and you can get them all alone!

Koh Yao Noi
Koh Yao Noi

It’s easy to get around Koh Yao Noi and Koh Yao Yai, local people are renting out motorbikes at the boat pier for 200 baht per day. 🙂

Read my how to plan a sex trip to Thailand guide here to get more tips and to find out how much money you should bring.


Route 2: Exploring Thai culture and temples

If you are not a horny asshole like myself, and want to learn about the Thai culture and see temples, you should really be looking at places that are north of Bangkok.



If you arrive Thailand through Bangkok, you can start with visiting Grand Temple, Wat Pro, take a boat trip at the Chao Praya River and explore the side streets of Bangkok with local Thai people or with a tuk tuk driver. Bangkok have a lot of temples all around city, and many of them are very beautiful.

When you are done with Bangkok you should really be thinking about heading north. Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai are good places for exploring Thai culture, but I have a better route for you if you don’t want to rush.

IMG_5518Start of in Bangkok, take the train from Bangkok to Ayutthaya, stay in Ayutthaya a couple of days to check out the ruins there. When you are done with Ayutthaya, continue with the train up to Phitsanoluk, a medium sized city in the middle of Thailand.

Here you can see how regular Thai people live, and you will get a lot of funny stares as there are almost no tourists here. Thai people will constantly ask you why the hell you are in their city (not in a hostile way, just because they are curious.)

When you are done in Phitsanoluk, take the one hour bus trip to Sukhothai, and enjoy the old ruins of Siam Kingdom. Check out my location review of Sukhothai here.

Then you take the bus from Sukhothai all the way up to Chiang Mai. That trip takes about 5 hours.

In Chiang Mai there is a lot to explore, people here are super friendly and laid back. Rent a good bike and explore the mountains in the area around Chiang Mai. Exploring the mountains around Chiang Mai is one of my best memories from Thailand.

But the most interesting about Chiang Mai is the vibe of the city. It’s a vibe that is impossible for me to explain. You just have to go there and feel it for yourself. Maybe it is the beautiful temples that are on every corner, or all the friendly laid back people, or the mountains in the horizon that is always barely visible? I really don’t know…


Route 3: Finding a girlfriend or wife

If your purpose of visiting Thailand is to find a girlfriend or a wife, you should also head north imo.

You could also stay in Bangkok, but if you are new to Thailand that can be very challenging as the city is chaotic and smelly. Getting anywhere is hard because of traffic jams and your ears will be raped by traffic noise and construction work.

I have already written a post about how you can find Thai girls here, but I have not written about where you can find them, so I will do that here.



Bangkok have an unbelievable amount of women. Just think about it. Hotels, shopping malls, hospitals, hostels, restaurants, sky bars ++. All of these establishments are all over town and they are mostly driven by Thai women.

Then you have the office girls that work for different companies and all the girls that work in government office jobs. You can really find whatever you want here.

If you plan is to find a girl in Bangkok, I recommend from the bottom of my heart that you sign up for Thai Cupid. This dating site have over a million users and many of them are right there in Bangkok. 😀

Another good thing about Bangkok is that a lot of people talk English here.


Chiang Mai

Chiang Mai is really unique in Thailand. The city is awesome and it has a very special vibe you can not find anywhere else in Thailand.

People here are generally super friendly and if you are looking for a girl with good attitude and vibe. You should absolute give Chiang Mai a shot.

Chiang mai is much less crowded than Bangkok, and it is generally much more comfortable to stay here, especially long time.

Less crowded does also mean less girls to pick from, but Chiang Mai is still a pretty big city with over almost 200.000 residents, so finding a girl should not be any harder than in Bangkok imo.

Chiang Mai
Chiang Mai


Women in the country side and smaller cities

Finding women in the more rural areas of Thailand is also a possibility. The thing about Thailand is that the further away you are from civilization you are the more friendly are the people. I’ve met some really cute and sweet girls in no-where places.

The problem is that it’s highly unlikely that you will find a girl there that talks English. So be prepared to learn a new language. Another consequence of this is that it’s almost impossible to keep in touch when you get home, as she don’t speak English.


White and dark skinned girls

When I first started to travel Thailand I really enjoyed the dark skinned girls. They were more exotic for me and I just liked that they had some tan.

Lately I have started to enjoy white skinned girls more and more. The reason for this is that they are usually more educated, have better attitude and they talk English.

In Bangkok you get both type of girls, but if you want to go outside of Bangkok you will find more of white skinned girls up in north, while dark skinned girls are mostly in northeast (Isaan) and south.

In south the girls also have more curves and are usually pretty short. In north they are whiter and are taller and/or more skinny.


Route 4: Party like a maniac

If you are just coming to Thailand to party like a rock star, and are not interested in Thai culture, the hookers or in finding a girlfriend. Thailand have something for you too!

You just want to party hard together with like minded tourists from all over the world!

In Bangkok you should check out Khaosan Rd. That street is packed with backpackers and tourists dancing in the streets until sunrise.

When you are done with Bangkok you should move on south.



Phuket have a shitload of bars and nightclubs that are catering to tourists that just want to party hard. You also have the popular tourist islands such as Koh Phi Phi not far away with beach parties and cozy bars filled with smelly American girls.

But the mother of all parties are not in Phuket, that party is 150 km up northeast in the Gulf of Thailand.


Koh Pha Ngan

At Koh Pha Ngan you have the famous Full Moon party. The mother of beach parties. 30.000 – 100.000 people goes here once a month (depending on season), to party hard at the Haad Rin beach southeast on the island.

You also have Half Moon Festival two times a month inside the jungle between Thong Sala and Haad Rin. 5000 – 30.000 people goes here two times a month to party hard until sunrise.

Read my full location review of Koh Pha Ngan here.


Route 5: Mixing it up!

This is my style of traveling. Only banging hookers in Pattaya for three straight weeks is too much for me. I’m turning 30 very soon and I’m not filled with hormones 24/7 with a constant boner anymore.

I like to take a couple of days here, then go to a new place, maybe check out Chiang Mai to look for some new beer bars, then head down to Phuket to check out a new island that I have never been too, or go to some rural town in central Thailand that no one have hever heard of.

However, mixing it up like that is not for beginners, and if it is your first time in Thailand you should probably stay at 1 or 2 places on your first trip if you are staying for 2-3 weeks.

Getting around in Thailand can be a nightmare at times and nothing sucks more than to spend your entire vacation inside a minibus, train or at a domestic flight.



As you can see, Thailand have something for everyone. And I have just talked about 4 different travel styles / purposes. I have not even touched on forest trekking, study Thai language or becoming a munk! That will be for another guide. 😀

If you have any question don’t hesitate to ask me in the comment section.




Western women vs. Thai women

You have probably heard the saying “Once you go Asian, you will never go back to Caucasian”. Or was it “Once you go black, you never go back”?… Hmm.. I’m not sure… I think both will work. 😀

After I started traveling to southeast-Asia dating Thai girls, I don’t even look at girls back home anymore. The amount of stress, bad behavior and bad stuff you have to plow through is just not worth it considering what you get in return.

They have nothing to offer compared to Thai women, and it’s more exhausting to be around them than a fun or meningfull experience.

Whenever I go Khaosan Rd in Bangkok, and see all the Western women there. I’m really just thinking: “What the fuck happened to women back home?”, while my dick shrinks extra deep into my belly. It’s really a awful sight..

This post will contain a lot of generalizations. Just because you read this post does not mean that ALL Thai girls are like this, or that ALL Western girls are like that. You can obviously find good women in the Western world, just as you can find bad women in Thailand.

All I’m saying is that you are much more likely to find a good women in Thailand than in any Western country at these days.

Actually, much more likely..



Thai women are sweet, sensitive and very gentle in their behavior. The majority of men are attracted to feminine women, just like most women are attracted to masculine men. This is just the ying and the yang of nature.

Feminists might tell you different, but just look at how well relationships are going back home. Divorce rates have never been higher and a lot people have kids with up to 4 different partners. I have three siblings and all of them are half.

When most Western women lack the one trait that men are attracted too, namely femininity. It’s not strange that almost all men that discover Thai women never go back to Western women.

I know that when I’m choosing my wife, I’ll be looking for her in Thailand, and not in the Western world.



If Thai women have a sixth sense, it has to be that they have a very good sense of what state of mood you are in.

If you are busy or are doing something that are important for you like work, a hobby or a passion. They will never come over to interrupt you to talk about something they want to talk about. Like: “we should talk about that event that we are going to next year” or “we have to discuss what color we should choose for the curtains”.. Bla bla bla…. You get my point.

However, if you are happy, and you want to have fun or just talk about something funny. They have an amazing ability to adopt to that positive energy in no time so they are on the same emotional level as you.

At the same time, if you are feeling sick or something is wrong. They will pick that up fast and ask if you are okay. They will go out of their way to try to make you feel better. They will rush down to the pharmacy to pick up medicines and they will call a doctor to hear if it can be anything serious.

All the relationships I ever had in the Western world was never like this. It was exhausting because it was always I that had the responsibility to make both me and her happy. It was never a mutual thing.

I remember one girl I was dating back home many years ago. We were eating and suddenly I got a really bad stomach pain. If she had some sense of empathy she would have noticed that I was not well, but she didn’t, and just kept on continue talking about herself. She actually said “pull yourself together” and “stop whining”, so she could continue to talk about her boring bullshit.

Western women attention radar points inwards towards them-self, while Thai women attention radar points outwards towards you.



My last Thai girlfriend lived in Bangkok. She worked at a hotel at Sukhumvit. Usually when she had to go work early in the morning I just slept in.

When I woke up I made up the bed, cleaned her apartment and took out the trash before I started on my own work. Every single time I did this she burst out in a super happy state of mind. Thanking me for being so goodhearted and doing “her” job (housework).

Sometimes I would go to her job just so I could walk with her back home to keep her safe. Whenever I did this she was super grateful and thanked me.

If you do something nice to your Thai girlfriend, be certain that she will give you back 1 million times.

If you do something nice towards a Western women she will take it for granted and probably forget it the next day.


Doing housework

A Thai women will do housework. She will do this without complaining or making a fuzz about it. She will never say something like “If I clean the windows today, you’ll have to do the laundry tomorrow”.

This is also true for cooking. Most Thai girls know how to cook up some dishes. While in the Western world meeting a women that actually can make food is a rare event.

I think it is important that a women know how to cook, because she will take care of your children at a later point and it is important that the children get good healthy homemade food, and not some pre-made unhealthy shit from the supermarked.


They will constantly do small things for you

This one of those things I just love about Thai women. They will always do small things for you just to show that they care. Let me give you some examples:

  • If you are out eating together, and your glass is empty. She will fill it up.
  • If your shirt is curly she will straight it out for you, and if you spill something on yourself she will try to clean it up or remove it.
  • If you loose money on the ground, she will pick it up, and if your hair gets messed up by the wind, she will fix it up.

These are all just small things that don’t take much energy, but it just shows that she is always watching over you making sure that you are comfortable.

A western women would never do anything like this. It wouldn’t even cross her mind.

As I said earlier, Western women’s attention radar is pointing inwards and it is much more likely that they will talk about some boring stuff they did the day before with her boring friend, than to make sure that you are feeling well.

I’m not saying that Thai women never talk about something they have been doing earlier with a friend, but they are definitively not in that ‘me me me me’ modus that Western women seems to be in pretty much 24/7.


An open mind and “up to you”. 

When you want to do something, and you ask your Thai girlfriend what you should do for the night. They will almost always say “up to you”. Many people think that this is just another way of saying “I don’t give a shit, do what you want”.

In my experience that is not what it is. It’s more that they want you to be happy and if they let you choose, it will make you happy. And as I said earlier, Thai women have an amazing ability to be whatever emotional state that you are in. If you are happy, they are happy. If you are sad, they are worried. Etc..

I’m not saying that Thai girls never come up with suggestions. They do.. Sometimes the suggestions can be really absurd too. Let me give you an example:

I was out with my Thai girlfriend and said I wanted to eat because I was hungry. I told her that we could just eat in the restaurant just next to the apartment. But no, this day we couldn’t do that.

She really wanted to eat at another restaurant that was 30 minutes away with sky train and a motorbike ride far out in nowhere in Bangkok. When we got there it was nothing special about the restaurant. I never got it why she wanted to eat here, maybe she had a old friend working there and wanted to show off her new farang boyfriend? I don’t know..

What you will almost never hear from a Thai girl however is stuff like: “I have a rule that..” or “If we do X today, we have to do Y tomorrow.”. That shit you will hear from Western women all the time.


They wear dresses

aea4e7597398b41c0f806758b30f8816I don’t know what happened with women back home but Thai girls are always wearing cute and feminine dresses. That combined with their femininity I talked about earlier makes them really attractive in my opinion.

Women back home don’t really wear dresses anymore like they did in the old days. They rather walk around in jeans and hoodies.

Then you also have all those strange “identity” freaks back home that wear really fucked up stuff. Emo’s, goths, barbie, and all that shit. What’s up with that? They look like complete trash.

This is of course my personal opinion and if you like girls that look like they just wake up from the grave I’ll be the last person to judge you. It’s just not my play field.

I identify as a dead person
I identify as a dead person



Thailand is a hot and humid place. There is nothing a Thai girl love more than to take a shower and to take care of her appearance. If you are dating a Thai girl, don’t be surprised if she wants to shower up to 4 times day. When she wakes up, after work, after dinner, before sex, after sex and just before she goes to sleep.

I think I have never met a Thai girl that smell old sweat odor. I can’t really say the same about Western women.


It is very unpopular for women in Thailand to smoke. The result of this is of course that almost no Thai women do this. That is very good because nothing is worse than to make out with a regular smoker. It’s like cleaning an ashtray with your tongue.

If I meet a women that are smoking I’m put off immediately.



Most Thai girls don’t like to exercise, but still most of them are able to stay slim. This is because they have been eating healthy Thai food with a lot of vegetables all their life. But also because Asians are slim and petite by nature.

Western women however are getting fatter and fatter, and so many cut their hair short and take ugly tattoos. Statistics prove anyway that western countries like America, Australia and by now also Western Europe have the highest percentage of fat girls in the world.

Fat girls are not sexy nor healthy, and it’s in mens nature to be attracted to a healthy women because one day we will share our DNA with them and make kids. If you share your DNA with a unhealthy women you will get unhealthy kids and that is not how evolution have programmed us to work! Science right there bitch! 😀



This post have almost only been about all the stuff Thai girls will do for you. I’m not saying that you should make your girlfriend do all the work while you are sitting on the sofa drinking beer and watch fotball while you scratch your balls.

It’s just that when you have a feminine women that will care of you, do little cute things for you all the time and that won’t complain about every little absurd thing. It’s much more easy to do good deeds back to them and be willing to do sacrifices.

All those small things creates a positive feedback loop where you and your girlfriend makes each other feel special and desired. She will always try to make you happy and comfortable, and hopefully, if you are a good man, you will do the same for her.

ananas-cocktail-rohr-sand-lebensmittelDo yourself a favor and sign up for Thai Cupid, that way you can flirt with Thai girls 24/7..

.. and before you know it you are on an airplane straight to Thailand enjoying a drink on the beach together with a sweet feminine Thai women. 😀 😀



Have an opinion about this? Comment section is here for a reason! 😀



Location Report | Thailand – Pattaya

Pattaya is the sex capital of the world. No other place on this planet do you have a higher concentration of hookers that are ready to entertain you at any time of the day than here.

It’s hard to estimate just how many hookers there are in this city, but I read somewhere that Pattaya have around 2000 beer bars. An average a beer bar have around 5-10 hookers. Then you also have all the Go-go bars and the endless amount of massage shops that have happy ending available. Not to mention all the freelancers at beach Rd.

I think it’s safe to say that Pattaya have a minimum of 30.000 girls ready to entertain you, every day all year around. That is really something unique!



Available girls (6/5)

Yes. I’ll give Pattaya a 6 out of 5 score. I know it’s impossible but when you arrive Pattaya you wont believe what you are seeing. I think it is a fitting score to give Pattaya. 😀

If you come to Thailand as a sex tourist and just want to go completely nuts. Pattaya is where you have to go. As I already mentioned, Pattaya is the sex capital of world and no matter what your needs are, you’ll find it in this city.

Ladyboys? Young petite girls? Russian hookers with attitude? Gay Thai men? An old exhausted freelance hookers for 500 baht a night? Africans? Or maybe dwarfs? Don’t worry, Pattaya has it all.



Want a smoking hot 10 to entertain you all night? No problem. Just go to the Go-go bars of Walking street, and pick the girl that you like the most for roughly 3000 baht long time.

Are you happy with a 7-8 with good attitude you should get your ass over to Soi 6 at the other side of town, pick your girl and take her upstairs for roughly 1000 baht (yes, the bars at soi 6 have their own rooms where you can bring your temporary sex toy). Can’t really be more convenient than that, can it? 😀

Soi 6

Good girls

This is were this city loose some points with me. I do enjoy going with hookers at times, but I prefer to date good girls and giiks (fuck friends). In Pattaya that is not really an option. If you meet a girl here that is decent looking, there is a good probability that she is working in a Go-go bar or beer bar. Or that she has in the past, or that she is planning to do it.

You might meet a good girl, but I know if I did I would be super paranoid that she actually was a part time hooker. I would never drop the condom with a good girl in Pattaya, at least as long as she lived there. I don’t want HIV or some strange tropical disease that no one have ever heard of.

If you are looking for a girlfriend or a wife, you should go somewhere else. Like Bangkok or Chiang Mai up in north. 90% of the people who lives here comes from other places in Thailand, and almost everyone work in the tourist business. So that is what most people here will treat you as, a tourist.

If you just want to go nuts and fuck as many girls as humanly possible on your three weeks holiday. You are on the right place. 😀

Check out how you can plan your sex holiday here.


Party situation (5/5)

I won’t be making a nightlife guide for Pattaya. Because no matter where you are in Pattaya there will be something happening. The entire town is just one gigantic whorehouse 24/7.

Another aspect of this is that a Go-go bar that was good on Monday, might suck on Tuesday. And a beer bar that was full of hot girls on Friday, might be almost empty on Saturday. Stuff happens fast in Pattaya and a bar that might be running well all week might suddenly close because they didn’t bribe the police.

Bars open and close everyday in this city.

My best tips for finding hot women in Pattaya is to just walk around until you find one. 😀 It’s really that simple. People will push you to stay longer in bars etc, but if there is no hot women inside, just pay your bill and try the bar 5 meters away.

Maybe I’ll make a nightlife guide for Pattaya on a later point, but right now I don’t see the point to be honest.


Stuff to do (4/5)

I have to be honest. Every time I’ve been going to Pattaya I have only been doing two things. That is drinking alcohol and fucking hookers at night.

Pattaya do have a beach, but I don’t like it that much. The beach can be littered at times, and the amount of street sellers that constantly try to sell you stuff you don’t need can be very annoying. You can’t relax for 1 minute before someone is trying to sell you fake sunglasses, stupid hats or dying flowers.

The good news is that there is one pretty good island just outside Pattaya, so if you need a break from the madness I absolutely recommend you going there. Maybe you can even bring one of the hookers you met the night before for company? Everything is possible in Pattayaland. 😀

Other than that you have all the normal tourist activities like jet-skis, paragliding, parks, zoo’s etc.. But lets be honest, you didn’t go to Pattaya do to that stuff, right? 😀

If Pattaya gets to intense for you, and trust me, it does from many people. You can always take the trip from Pattaya to Phuket with Bangkok airways. There is a direct flight from Pattaya airport to Phuket International Airport everyday at 1.00 pm.


Cost of living (4/5)

Pattaya is not the cheapest town in Thailand, but considering what you get for your money (basically a whore house on the size of a city), it’s not that bad after all.


You can get a good condo close to the action with air-con, free wifi and gym for about 10.000 baht a month short term. I have yet to find a webpage that offers apartments in Pattaya.

You could try one of these three things:

  • Craigslist
  • Message a Thai girl and ask her for help. Read my post How To Meet Thai Girls for more tips about this.
  • Hit the streets. Go to Pattaya, rent a cheap hotel for a night then walk the Sois and look for yourself.


Steak at beefeater
Steak at beefeater

Thai food is very cheap and if you eat in the basic street restaurants you’ll get a dinner for 50-100 baht.

However, there are a lot of good restaurants in town that sell high quality western food like steaks, burgers and pizza. It’s hard to not get tempted so your average daily budget on food will probably be higher than 100 baht dinners.

One of the best steaks I ever had I had in Pattaya at beefeater close to Mikes shopping mall. It will set you back almost 1000 baht but god damn is it worth it!


Here is the problem with Pattaya when it comes to cost of living

PattayaThere is just to much temptations everywhere! People have literally jumped to death in Pattaya because they lost control, fucked a million girls on 10 different credit cards and then not been able to pay it back.

Instead of going home, work, make money and return later. They have just kept on going until every bank account and credit card is empty. Some jump off buildings while others become homeless losers in Pattaya. 

If you want to move here permanently on a budget you better have some self-control and discipline. If not you can end up like those looser that jumps of buildings pretty damn fast.


Safety (4/5)

I think Pattaya is a pretty safe place to stay in considering what is going on in this city! The city is complete madness with non stop parties and available girls for entertainment.

The biggest safety risk for any man in this city has to be what I have already talked about, losing control and just go completely nuts with hookers without having the money for it.

There are also a lot of tourists here that gets killed in traffic because they are stupid enough to drive 1000cc sport bikes when drunk. Don’t do that, you don’t want to end up at a street corner with your brain cut in half. Don’t be that guy…

And please, don’t be that naive idiot that falls in love with some gold digging whore that pretends to be a good girl, just to send her 10.000 baht a month as soon as you get home to “keep her”. As soon as you fly home, another boyfriend flies in.

Jet-ski scam

You should not rent jet-skis in Pattaya (or phuket). There is a popular scam here towards clueless tourists.

You rent a jet-ski, and when you deliver it back the Thai dude that you rented it from will say that you damaged the jet-ski and have to pay for the damages.

If you try to get away or say that you did not damage it, the police will come. The only problem is that the police are on the scammers side as they get a cut from the money you’ll have to pay for the damage.

That sucks, because that is money that you could have spent on sexy Thai hookers instead. 🙁

See more here.


Other than that there is all the regular scams in town that are normal for popular tourist destinations. There is a lot of money in this city and the thugs and robbers will of course go here rather than Sukhothai.

Keep your money safe, don’t flash with money anywhere and don’t get so drunk that you can’t take care of yourself. Don’t be naive and remember to use condoms with the hookers.

If you can do that, you will get home again in one piece. I promise! 😀



If you just want to go completely nuts, and have sex with more women than the most famous rock stars of this planet. Pattaya is absolutely a place you should go, and a place where you can say goodbye to your boring life permanently or for a period.

The city has a relative good infrastructure with the baht bus taking you all over town for only 10 baht per trip! It got a beach, and if you need a break from the madness you can always take a trip out to the island Koh Lan just outside Pattaya.

If you want to find good girls, you can still live in Pattaya banging hookers while you flirt with good girls in Bangkok on Thai Cupid. When you find a girl that you really like, you can just jump on a bus to Bangkok for the weekend.

Bangkok is only two hours away with bus, where you can fly anywhere in southeast Asia for under 4000 baht together with your good girl you just met. 😀

Total Score

Available girls:     6/5
Party situation:   5/5
Stuff do to:           4/5
Cost of Living:      4/5
Safety:                   4/5

Goodbye Boring Life Score: 

       23 / 25


I’m really interested to hear what you think about Pattaya. If you have been there, please comment in the comment section under.


Location Report | Thailand – Bangkok

I’ve really been looking forward to make a location review for Bangkok. This is one of my favorite cities in the entire world. I just spent 6 weeks here (minus some day trips here and there), so I have a lot of stuff to talk about.. 😀

Let me just be crystal clear:

No other place on earth can you find as much hot Asian girls as you can in this city.

Every time I’ll go Bangkok I always bring up my trusty Thai Cupid a couple of weeks before arrival just so I have some girls ready on my hand. 😀

This city is so big that it’s hard to grasp. 20 million people live here, and many of them are young Asian girls in their twenties that comes for either work or study.


Available girls (6/5)

Where do I even start? This city has enough pussy to make a man go crazy for a million years. I will give Bangkok a 6 out of 5 score. I know that is impossible but I don’t care. 😀

I’ve met girls here from all corners of Thailand. I’ve met girls from China, Japan, South-Korea, Singapore and Cambodia. If you like farang pussy you have a lot of alternatives to as Bangkok have a couple of nightlife districts filled with tourists from all over the world.

If you are planning to visit Bangkok in the near future I recommend from the bottom of my heart that you sign up for Thai Cupid. It’s not a free service if you want all the functionalities but damn it’s worth the money if you want to bang a lot of hot girls.

With Thai Cupid you can do some real pre-work, and when you arrive you can have 10 dates ready for 10 days in a row. That’s no bullshit! I’ve done something similar myself. It was exhausting but damn it was fun!

This time I ended up finding a real cutie that I spent my entire time with while I was in Bangkok. She even let me stay in her apartment for free! A really sexy women with a good vibe and personality. I would marry her if I was ready for that shit!

After three days with her I got sick of using condoms, so I took her to the Red Cross Clinic and got us tested for HIV. She was clean and we had awesome condom free sex until I left Bangkok.

Need to calm down!
Need to calm down!

She was not only hot, but a real banger in bed. Something you don’t come across everyday. That is for sure! We had so much sex that I got bruises on my knees.

If you want to be a player (Thais call it a ‘butterfly’) Bangkok is a great city for that! The city is so big that you will never stumble upon a girl that you fucked yesterday if you are with another girl out in public the next day. You can really go nuts here.

Just be smart and don’t go to the same restaurants and sois with different girls.

Where do you find hot women if you’re already in Bangkok when reading this?

Dont worry, this is Bangkok. There is always possibilities here. Here are some of my techniques for a fast date!


I would just pull up google maps, find out where all the universities are in Bangkok. Then I would go there and hang out in the coffee shops and restaurants close by. Read how you can get almost any Thai girl here.


I’ve been having a lot of luck with Tinder in Bangkok. Tinder is not that popular in Thailand, but in Bangkok there are so many people that you will always find someone.

Personally I hate to write on mobile phones so I try to avoid using Tinder. The keyboard is just to fucking small and I loose my patience. But if you are okey with that you should absolutely give it a try with Tinder. I rather pull up my Thai Cupid on a laptop. I usually take a Tinder session when I’m taking a dump. 😀

Hotel receptions

Staying at a hotel? Why not ask that cute receptionist out? However, you will not be able to bring her back to the hotel that she is working on. I usually ask them if I can see their apartment, then I take it from there. 🙂

Another good thing with receptionists is that they usually talk very good English.

Shopping malls

Bangkok have a ridiculous amount of shopping malls. They are filled with bored girls that are just waiting for something exciting to happen. Like meeting a handsome farang like yourself! 😀

I would stay away from the most popular malls like Siam Center, Siam Paragon, MBK, Central World and Terminal 21. The reason for this is that these malls are usually always full of people and it might be hard to get the girls alone.

Some less popular malls are Time Square just next to Sukhumvit soi 12 at Asok, another one is at Ekkemai next to Sukhumvit soi 42. I don’t know the name of that second mall at Ekkemai, but it is a big brown building. Should be easy to spot. These malls are empty most of the day and you will find a lot of bored Thai girls here. 🙂


If you’re not interested in the foreplay and just want to go straight to business Bangkok have a lot of hookers ready to entertain you at any time! Cremé de la cremé of Thai hookers will go to Bangkok. Bangkok is were the money is and hot girls can make a lot of money here.

Be ready to see some really sexy girls if you venture into the red light districts!

Bangkok’s most famous red light districts are Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza and Patpong. You can read more about that in my “Bangkok Nightlife Guide” here.

If you are lazy, you don’t even have to leave your hotel / apartment to get som pussy in this city. Just call up one of Bangkok’s many Escort services, and a women will be at your door whenever you need it.

Sukhumvit Rd

Party situation (5/5)

Bangkok have something for everyone. Want to party hard in fully stocked nightclubs? Or maybe just relax with a beer at a jazzbar? What about playing pool with like minded, or visiting one of Bangkoks countless Go-go bars?

No matter what you are looking for, you’ll find it in Bangkok. Bangkok have an amazing nightlife.

I already made a nightlife guide for Bangkok here, so I will not go into detail in this post.

If you are not into the red-light stuff and the hookers you will be fine. The red lights are pretty isolated to certain areas, just avoid these areas and you will be fine.


Stuff to do (5/5)

You never run out of stuff to do in Bangkok. There is always something new to do.

There are excellent parks, gigantic shopping malls, gyms, world class cinemas, temples, nightclubs, sky bars, history, museums, hookers, massage shops, festivals, concerts halls and much more to explore.

If you are tired or just want to relax you can sit down in an outdoor pub in a busy street and just watch people. There are a lot of interesting characters in Bangkok if you just take a look!

The only thing that is missing in Bangkok is a beach! If Bangkok had that it would be a perfect place to live!

I will still give Bangkok a 5 out of 5. Beaches are just 2-3 hours away. If you need to see the ocean you can just take a day trip or a night over in Pattaya or Hua Hin. Then get right back into the action in Bangkok!


Cost of Living (4/5)

Bangkok is not the cheapest town in Thailand for sure. However, considering what you get for the money (a gigantic city with whatever you need, whenever you need it), it is absolutely worth the extra money.


I rented a furnished apartment with AC and shared swimming pool + free gym close by for about 8000 baht a month + 30.000 baht in depositum. This was at Asok just 200m from Asok BTS station (skytrain).

I rented it for only two months so if I was staying longer I could probably get a better deal.


It’s really hard to tell what food costs in Bangkok. You can go as cheap and as expensive as you want.

I dish with rice, meat and some vegetables usually costs about 50 baht in the street restaurants. The same dish in one of the shopping malls like Terminal 21 or Siam Center will probably cost 4-6 times more.

If you want to eat with style, and enjoy that same Thai dish at one of Bangkok’s many sky bars, you probably have to pay from 500-1000 baht for the dish.

It’s really up to you!

The best burger I ever ate I ate in Bangkok. The restaurant is called Firehouse. Click here for location at Google Maps. I usually eat the premium burger with cheddar cheese and crispy bacon. It’s simply porn for you mouth.

If you are broke, and really need to save every dime. You always have 7/11. I once lived on 25 baht toasts at 7/11 because I lost my debit card! I had to borrow money from a Thai girl until I could get a new card sent to me. I only ate noddles and toasts from 7/11 lol…


Getting around in Bangkok can be a nightmare at times, but if you live near the sky train you just cruise over all the bad traffic jams straight to your destination.

Taxis in Bangkok are so cheap that I don’t understand how they can make a profit. Don’t they have to pay for gas and maintenance? I don’t get it..

A taxi ride inside Bangkok never get higher than 300 baht! Just make sure that you get a taxi driver that will use his meter and not a fixed price. A fixed price will always be more expensive for you!

If you are going somewhere and there is no sky train to that place, just take the sky train to the station that is closest to your destination and jump on a motorbike from there. It is really that easy!


Safety (4/5)

I’ve never had any problem in Bangkok with anything. I have been in pretty much every corner of Bangkok at all times of day. Never had any problem or felt threatened in any way.

There are no slums or ghettos in Bangkok, and no particular dangerous places to watch out for. You can go wherever you want without worrying about going into a bad area. There are street dogs here and there, especially in smaller side streets. Most of the time they are no problem, but some of them can turn aggressive at night.

I would say that the biggest risk of living in Bangkok is the pollution and the insane noise pollution. Motorbikes with broken mufflers are driving by every minute and you can’t walk far before you walk past a construction zone with some poor Thai guy raping his ears with a jackhammer.

There are scams here and there, but it’s usually just petty scams like theft or overpriced stuff. Nothing really bad or dangerous.

Bangkok had a bomb going of some time ago in a busy street and a lot of people died. I would not worry about that happening again. From what I understand that was an isolated event and will probably not happen again. Terror can happen everywhere anyways..

If you are a guy, you will be approached by Thai men that will offer ladies, boom boom, free tuktuk rides and other stuff that is just to good to be true. Just ignore them and you wont be lured in to a scam.



So, why haven’t I moved to Bangkok permanently if I only have good things to say about the city?

It's hard to get anywhere in this city!
Human traffic jam at Siam

Here is the catch:

The city is just too damn crowded. Bangkok is good for a period, but after some weeks in this city you just have to get out for some air! Bangkok is claustrophobic if you stay here to long.

When you are walking up and down Sukhumvit Road you can’t even see the sky because there are skyscrapers and highways build in floors over you!

That combined with endless traffic jams and people literally everywhere can really suck the energy out of you.

Bangkok is good for 3-5 weeks, but I could never live here permanently. It’s just too crowded and too much of everything.

When that is said. Every time I have stayed in Bangkok I had a blast. There is always something interesting happening and there is always a lady ready to entertain you. You can’t really get bored here.

Total Score

Available girls:     6/5
Party situation:   5/5
Stuff do to:           5/5
Cost of Living:      4/5
Safety:                   4/5

Goodbye Boring Life Score: 

       24 / 25

Protect your hearing in Thailand!

Hey guys!

This will be a boring post, but its just something that I feel is important to mention. As it can fuck up your life pretty hard if you are careless.

Thailand is a noisy place. Endless traffic, no noise pollution regulations, broken mufflers, construction work, nightclubs, concert halls, dinner music, bars, you name it. All this noise will fuck up your ears if you are not careful.

Last time I was on Khaosan Rd the bars across the street were trying to “outplay” eachother with speakers pointing towards the street. When I was walking in the middle of the street, I could hear different music from both side of the road. Its a fucking mess!

If you are like me, out almost every night. There will come a day when you wake up one morning and realize that you have trouble hearing what people say.

Noise is damaging for your ears, and hearing can not be repaired, once those hair cells dies, they are gone forever! 🙁

Another side effect that a lot of people are not aware of when it comes to reduced hearing, is that your ears will start to ring! This is called tinnitus and can be a very serious thing. I’ve had it for many years and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Some days it’s nothing else but torture!

I got it from a diving accident many years ago. The first year was a fucking nightmare. Luckily the ringing decreased after 1.5 years and I finally learned to live with it and accept it.

If you go to forums like www.tinnitustalk.com you can see how many people who suffer from this condition. When you read their stories you realize that they didn’t get it by standing next to a nuclear explosion. Most people got it from loud music without protection.

So, what can you do?

20160708_001318 Every pharmacy in Thailand sells ear plugs for around 30 baht. However, most of those earplugs comes in the most flashy neon color possible to obtain. You will look like a complete nerd and every girl will ask you why you have those big plugs sticking out of your ears.

I recommend buying something called ‘Ear Putty’. They can be bought in almost every pharmacy in Thailand for 90 baht. They are found just next to the earplugs but most people don’t know that they are actually ment for the ears.

‘Ear Putty’ is a soft formable white wax that you can form and squeeze inside your ears. They protect your ears just as much as the earplugs, but are not visible for others unless they look really hard.

The feeling of taking those earplugs out after you are done in a noisy enviroment, and still able to hear crystal clear, is indescribable.

I have even started to use the earplugs whenever I am walking around in Bangkok. The noise pollution at Sukhumvit, Silom, Siam etc is just crazy, and so many motorbikes have broken mufflers its not even fun. That noise can really fuck up your ears!

Play it safe guys, and don’t end up as one of those sad souls at tinnitustalk.com…

Thank me later!


How to get in trouble in Thailand

Here are some simple rules to follow when you are visiting Thailand. Personally I have never had any serious trouble when visiting Thailand. You won’t either if you follow these rules!


Don’t talk about the king

Thai people genuinely love the King, some even look at the King as a semi-God. The King have been in power since 1946 and for most Thais the King is the only King they have ever known. 

Don’t do anything that is disrespectful against the king, the queen or the royal family in general. Thailand actually have a Lèse-majesté law that makes it illegal to make fun off or criticize the royal family.

Many countries have this law but in Thailand they will actually use it. It’s not a sleeping paragraph. A lot of foreigners are in prison right now, for many years, because they did something disrespectful against the royal family.

When you arrive Thailand you will see pictures of the king and the queen everywhere. On the roads, in malls, in bars and on money. Never do anything that can be perceived disrespectful against these pictures.

Never run into a bar and yell something like “I’m the King here”. You never know who is listening. A lot of Thai people have limited English skills and might misinterpret you.


Don’t discuss politics

This rule might be ignored if you have a Thai friend that is really close, and that you know you can trust. But as a general rule never discuss politics in Thailand. Thailand have had some unrest the last years because of politics.

People have been beaten, even killed because of this. Bangkok also had a bomb going off outside a shrine some time ago. I think they never actually figured out why this happened (I might be wrong).

Anyways. Just don’t discuss politics here. It’s not your country, and the politics are Thai peoples business, not yours. If someone asks you, or want to know your opinion, just say you don’t care about politics and that you know nothing about Thai politics.


Don’t do drugs

People will offer you drugs here, especially in the tourists areas of Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket. Never ever take these offers! You never know what could happen, and Thailand have some pretty strict drug laws. You could risk LIFE in prison if you get caught with drugs. Yes LIFE. 

Stick with booze and banging hot Asian girls. You will never get in trouble for that.


Don’t fight, argue or act angry towards Thai people

Thai people are nationalistic. If you have a fight or a loaded argument with a Thai person. Thai people close by will pretty much always take the Thai persons side. Who is right does not matter.

If you are treated unfair always make your complaint in a slow and calm fashion. Never make a scene or act angry. In Thailand being angry is seen as a very bad thing, and people might team up against you just for the fact that you are angry. For a Thai person, you being angry can be just enough evidence to conclude that you are a bad person.

Thai men might be short and tiny. But they are fast and they never fight alone. If you get in a fight with a Thai person you will loose. Fighting happens back home too, but normally we stop the fight when one of the parties are on the ground. In Thailand they will continue to kick you when you are on the ground.

I have witnessed one fight in Thailand, and it was not pretty. The foreigner was unconscious lying on the ground, while 6-8 Thai men was kicking him in the back, stomach and head. I don’t know what the foreigner did.

Don’t be a hero

Do you see someone having a fight? Do you see a Thai man beating up his girlfriend or destroying her motorbike? Don’t try to stop it. I know I sound like a pussy now, but you never know what the outcome can be for you.

For all you know the Thai guy have a knife or a gun, while high as fuck on Ya Ba. Or the girl and the guy team up beating YOU up instead! You are a foreigner, and in their head you should not intervene in how THEY solve their problems. That is the mentality by a lot of Thais.

If you get in a fight here no one will help you. Not before the Thai guys have left and you are lying on the ground bleeding. Security guys will mostly stand by just watching and the police will probably not be there before the situation is long over.


Use condoms with hookers

This one should not be necessary to add, but it amazes me how many guys out there who simply wont use a condom. Not even with hookers. If you hate condoms, toughen up and ask a normal girl out instead. Thai girls are not hard to ask out. Then you can go together with that girl to a clinic and get tested for HIV. That way you don’t end up with HIV, herpes or syphilis. Should be pretty simple.

About 2% of Thai population have HIV, and I believe that number is much higher as soon as you enter a gogo-bar or a beer bar.

Getting HIV sucks, you can never fuck again without a condom, unless you are a complete asshole, and it sucks for your health and your wallet, depending on what country you are from.


Don’t flash with money

This one is true for all countries in the world, especially third world countries. Flashing bling bling and money won’t impress anyone, except the thugs and robbers that want to rob you.

You should always dress nice in Thailand, but do it in moderation. You don’t need to have 100000 baht in your wallet and wear your 4000$ watch here. It will only attract robbers, gold diggers and other bad stuff. Just bring what you need for the day, nothing more.



If you follow these rules, you will probably never get in trouble in Thailand. Just smile and be happy, and Thai people will smile and be happy too!

Thai people are super friendly and you will have an awesome time here! 


Location Report | Thailand – Koh Pha Ngan

Koh Pha Ngan is a big island in the southern Gulf of Thailand. Its just north of Koh Samui and south of Koh Tao. It’s a popular place for backpackers, divers, families and has a pretty solid reputation for being a party destination. More on that later.

The north end of the island seems to be mostly populated by divers and families, while south is populated by backpackers that wants to go crazy with parties, alcohol and drugs.

After spending one week at Koh Pha Ngan with some friends from Europe, I ended up having very mixed feeling about this island.

I kind of love it and hate it at the same time.

The island is very beautiful. It has amazing beaches, big undeveloped areas with deep jungle, hills and mountains and a lot of stuff to explore. Renting a motorbike at this island is awesome.

Bottle Beach
Bottle Beach
Mae Haad Beach
Mae Haad Beach

At the same time, the island is filled up with teens, young adults, backpackers and other idiots that drinks like maniacs, pukes, shits, pees and pass out everywhere. That is what I hate about this island. I like to party, but that type of party is not my style.

The locals at the island is less friendly than other parts of Thailand. Something tells me that they are pretty fed up with the non-stop rotation of tourists that comes here all year just to trash their island. I guess they deal with it because its good money for the local people.

Anyways..! Lets start the review! 😀

Available girls (3/5)

Lets start with the most important!

If farang pussy is your style, this island will be a paradise for you. Koh Pha Ngan has an never ending rotation of young tourists that comes in for Half Moon Party and Full Moon Party. They come, get drunk as fuck, then leave.

Hitting up with some farang chick at this island should not be too hard. I fucked a Swedish girl in her bungalow after I drove her back to her hostel to pick up money for a tattoo (I was taking tattoo too). She was pretty hot, but drunk and smelly. I was drunk myself so I did not give a shit. 🙂

Between the festivals the island is pretty dead, especially in the low season. To find farang pussy you should stay at Thong Sala or Haad Rin. This is were all the parties are. Cheap hostels are hotspots if you want tourist pussy.


Local women

The further south you go in Thailand, the uglier the women gets. It’s sad to say it but it’s true. Women in south tends to be more chubby and dark skinned. If that is your style everything should be fine, but I like the girls up in north much more.

Thai people at this island is not as nice and friendly as the rest of Thailand. I suspect that they have developed some kind of shield towards tourists. I totally understand that after attending Full Moon Party.

I found it hard to chat up the local women here. I’m not saying it is impossible, just saying it was harder. Even speaking Thai did not make them smile like they do elsewhere.

I did see a lot of farang men with hot Thai chicks on the back of the motorbike. Where they found them I’m not sure about…



If you did not have any luck with ThaiCupid, Tinder, chatting up a local girl at the island or a smelly drunk Swedish girl. There is always backup! 😀

You can find beerbars with available girls on the main road between Thong Sala and Haad Rin. There is a cluster of about 20 beer bars. They are hard to miss because it will be standing half naked Thai hookers out in the street yelling at you from about 19.00 until 02.00. Prime time seems to be around 22.00.

Beerbars at Koh Pha Ngan
Beerbars at Koh Pha Ngan

The girls here are not that hot really, and there was ALOT of ladyboys for some reason. Something tells me that all the hot girls get their ass to Pattaya or Bangkok, where they can make some real money. Most of the hookers at Koh Pha Ngan were pretty chubby. I did see two hookers that I could put my dick in if it was a complete emergency.

Barfine: 400 baht
Short-time: 1000 baht
Long-time: 1000 baht (desperate for money in low season I guess)

In Haad Rin some of the massage studios offer extra service. I got a pretty good blowjob here. Just look for the massage studio that yell the loudest.


Party situation (4/5)

There are three big events on Koh Pha Ngan every month. Half Moon Festival is deep inside the jungle between Thong Sala and Haad Rin two times a month. Full Moon is at the Haad Rin beach once a month.


Full Moon Party

I have to be honest, I did not like this party at all because it was a total trash party. People behave like complete maniacs. People shit, puke, pee, and pass out everywhere. The beach was completely crowded and it was impossible to get anywhere. You can hear different music from several speakers at the same time. The whole concept is just a mess.

I do recommend trying it one time, just to have experienced it, but one time was more then enough for me. If I ever get back to this island when there is a full moon party, I will seek refuge at the other side of the island while it’s ongoing. 😀


Half Moon Festival

This party was actually good. It costs 1000 baht for the ticket. And it’s easy to see where the money are going. The sound system at the main scene was amazing. All the decoration they did around in the threes and surroundings was awesome too. Half Moon Party is not a total trash party like the Full Moon Party.

20160713_030347 People were much more in party mode at this festival. I did not see anyone puking and passing out in the festival area like at the Full Moon. There are security that goes around watching people. You even get free water and snacks at the medic tent if you feel tired. Pretty awesome.

Hookers at Half Moon Festival

If you didn’t have any luck with that smelly Swedish girl at the main scene. There will be standing hookers at the road up to the main scene. They are easy to spot, because their skirts leave nothing to the fantasy and they will just stare out in the nothingness waiting for farang dick.

I asked some of the girls what they wanted for a full night. Some said 1500 baht, others said 2500 baht. She will party with you as long as you wish, then join you to your bungalow.

Cost of Living (4/5)

Accommodation: When I was here I stayed at a hostel for 400 baht per night. If you want to stay here long time I’m sure you could make a deal with one of the hostels for a good monthly rate.

Food: I only ate food at the local Thai food restaurants. I spent around 100-150 baht per meal to get full. 3-4 meals per day. Not that bad really.

Motorbikes: I paid 150 baht per day for my motorbike at my hostel. I’m sure you can get a better deal if you want to rent a bike long time.

I rented a dirt bike some of the days too. Daily rent was 250 baht.


Safety (3/5)

A lot of crazy stuff happens on this island because of all the drinking and young adults fucking around. You should be a little street smart here. Here are my observations:


Roads, taxis and motorbikes

Haad Rin hills
You don’t want to crash here…

Rent a motorbike instead of taking taxis everywhere. There is some insane hill roads here that are super steep and dangerous, especially the mountain road from Thong Sala to Haad Rin. You will also save a ton of money.

Renting a motorbike costs between 150-250 baht per day. Taking a taxi from Thong Sala to Haad Rin is minimum 400 baht if you travel alone.

A lot of the taxi drivers drive like maniacs on these roads. If the breaks malfunction in one of the steep hills you are pretty much history.

When it is full moon party in Haad Rin, taxi drivers drive as fast as they can from Haad Rin to Thong Sala. The more poeple they can drive, the more money they make.

If you participate at the Full Moon party, make sure to book a hotel / hostel in Haad Rin, and not in Thong Sala. That way you don’t have to take a taxi back home at night in the hills.

I talked with a nurse at a hospital, and she said that every time there is a Full Moon party at Haad Rin, people die and get badly hurt in that hill road. The taxi drivers put as many people as possible in these taxis, 100 baht per person. Some months ago a taxi went outside a hill, and 12 people died. This is no joke.

When you drive motorbike you should take it easy. The roads here have varying quality. You can be driving on a perfect road, then suddenly you hit a hole in the road and crash. There is a lot of dust and gravel on the roads, so take it easy in the curves.

The hospitals are filled up with people with big cuts and broken bones because they fucked up when driving motorbike. Not only that, the motorbikes here are not insured. If you wreck a motorbike, you have to pay for new one. The motorbike I was driving cost 60.000 baht new.


Street dogs

Thailand have a lot of street dogs, but this island is infested with street dogs. They are everywhere. Most of the time they are no problem, but at night a lot of dogs turn aggressive because they want to defend their territory. The dogs are outside malls, 7/11’s, hotels, hostels, bars, in the middle of the street. If you drive a motorbike at night, some dogs will chase you.

I got attacked one time outside my hostel by 7 dogs at night when I came back from drinking. They barked and tried to bite my pants. I had to jump up on a pool table, take a pool cue, and hit one of the dogs on the back, then they backed off…

If you get aggressive attention from a pack of dogs. Don’t run, don’t look afraid, and don’t look them in the eyes. Just walk away slowly and try to get up somewhere they can’t reach you.

There is one exception, and that is pit-bulls and rottweilers, if they attack you. RUN. They will not only bite, but lock their jaws and twist their necks until your muscles get ripped out of your leg.


Local people

Local people are mostly friendly, but at night you will see young Thai men in groups just doing nothing. Some of these men are looking for drunk farangs that they can steal from.

A lot of the locals at this island is fed up with the tourists, and the threshold for some of these guys to attack you are pretty low. Some time ago a tourist was stabbed to death by a group of aggressive Thai men when he tried to break up a fight.

If you see these groups, don’t look at them, don’t to anything disrespectful and don’t walk alone. If you are very drunk they might target you. If possible, take another route home to avoid them. I lot of people on this island have had a bad experience with tourists, and have, in their head, a good reason to hate all tourists.



Try to avoid them. Why? When there is a half moon / full moon the locals goes around on the beach picking up used buckets, then put them right back into rotation. I did take a look into some of the buckets that were about to be sold. They were full of sand and other shit. The local people will not bother to clean the buckets. A lot of people get diarrhea and other weird infection symptoms after drinking the buckets.

Order a cup instead, they are always sold new (clean).

I was here with three of my friends. All of them were sick for two days after the Full Moon Party with stomach pain and diarrhea. All of us drank the same amount of alcohol and ate the same food. They drank the buckets, I did not.

When we were going back to Bangkok, one of my friends got really sick one more time. This time with severe stomach pain and fever. I had to cancel my flight back to Bangkok to stay with him. While he was in hospital for three days, I was roaming the streets of Surat Thani city. You can read my location review here. 😀

Travel insurance

Make sure to have travel insurance when you are visiting Koh Pha Ngan. If you pass out at Full Moon and someone have to bring you to a hospital, most of the hospitals here are private. A night at First Western Hospital in Thong Sala will set you back 25.000 – 50.000 baht, depending on what treatment you’ll need.

A lot of people get drugged at Full Moon Party, just to wake up the next day in a hospital bed with a 40.000 baht bill. Not fun if you don’t have travel insurance. 🙁


I just learned some really serious stuff. My brother was at Full Moon party recently. He told me that the hospitals at Koh Pha Ngan have started to reject people that comes in at night IF they don’t have any ID or proof of travel insurance.

My brother said that unconscious pasients came to the hospital, but the hospital rejected them and told the dependents to bring the unconscious person to the Red Cross tent instead. I’ve seen that Red Cross tent and the medical care is very limited there.

Always remember your ID and travel insurance card when attending Full Moon Party.


If you just want to live the hakuna matata lifestyle this island is as good as it gets. You got the beaches, the big undeveloped areas and a lot of fun hill roads to drive motorbikes. You can rent scooters, dirt bikes, sport bikes, harleys. Whatever suits you best. Occasionally you have some pretty big events where you can let loose and party like there is no tomorrow!

Most Thai people here are very laidback, if relaxing is your goal, go to Koh Pha Ngan!

Yeah, the full moon sucks, and at this day you should be a little street smart, but that party is just once a month, so it’s not that big of a deal. Just hide at the other side of the island if it gets to crowded.

If you feel that you have to go somewhere else. You have Koh Samui and Koh Tao just next door. With speedboat it takes about one hour to both islands. At Koh Samui you even have an airport with flights to Bangkok, Phuket, Krabi, Hong Kong and Singapore.

If you find a local hot women at this island you can really live the dream life. Chill on the beach every day, eat cheap and delicious Thai food three times a day, have sex every night and party like a maniac 2-3 times a month. What more can you really ask for?

Renting a motorbike is a must. My best memories from this island will be when I was just cruising around with no plan at all.


Total Score

Available girls: 3/5
Party situation: 4/5
Cost of living: 4/5
Safety: 3/5

Goodbye Boring Life Score: 

       14 / 20


If you want to try some really tasty Thai food. There is an awesome Thai restaurant here. I had like 6 different dishes here and I ate until it was painful. I went here with some local Thai people, it is absolutely a hidden jewel.